Staff behaving badly
by Her Royal Goddess
Summary: What happens when the staff at Hogwarts are made to have fun and get along whether they want to or not. 1st chapter has just been tweaked to iron out a few rough edges that bothered me.
1. FlobberWorms

**Staff behaving badly**

I own nothing, everything written is just for fun and not profit, although reviews are always welcomed.

This is set 5 years after the war and Hermione has been teaching transfiguration for the last 3 years and is head of Gryfindor, also on the staff are Harry (Quidditch) Sirius (Charms) and Remus (Dada) and obviously Potions is being taught by Severus.

**Chapter one**

Minerva was sat in her office when she heard two familiar voices arguing outside her office, she groaned and opened her door "That's enough" she said sternly "Honestly I could hear the pair of you down the corridor".

Hermione went in and sat down on one of the chairs in front of Minerva's desk "Minerva will you please tell this obnoxious man that just because his quidditch team are terrible it dose not give him the right to give them extra practice time especially when he knows that Gryfindor are practicing", and she gave Severus a filthy look.

Severus just glared back, "As she is aware" he spat "Due to Mr Adams injuries which by the way were caused by one of her precious Gryfindor's, Slytherin are actually in need of a new keeper which obviously means they need more pitch time".

Minerva looked at the two people sat in front of her and wondered why they had such animosity towards one another, yes Severus was by nature a snarky man but in the years following the war he had actually mellowed and was on speaking terms with most of the staff and was quite good friends

with Remus, Sirius and Harry, Hermione on the other hand had grown into a mature young adult who got along with everybody. "I expect better behavior from my staff, now the two of you will resolve this like the adults you're supposed to be!" she gave both of them one of her famous steely glares, "And further more if I hear that the pair of you have been acting like children then both of you will be on detention and Hogsmeade duties till the end of term, do I make myself clear?".

Hermione and Severus looked at each other and mumbled "Yes headmistress" and left the room, no sooner had they left when she heard them sniping at one another again.

She looked up at the picture on the opposite side of the room "Oh Albus whatever am I going to do with those two?",

Dumbledore looked down from his portrait, his blue eyes twinkling " You know Minnie I think it's time there was a new tradition at Hogwarts just for the staff", Minerva raised an eyebrow, Dumbledore continued "We should have a staff bonding night once a month compulsory for all staff to attend, and during these meetings they can play board games and things like that".

It was an interesting idea she thought and the staff would hate it which was always a bonus, she grinned evilly because what's the point of being headmistress if you can't have a little fun now and then at your teachers expense, so with that thought in mind she picked up her quill and wrote a new notice for the staffroom.

_Staff Fun Night._

_Starting on the 19th of September there will be a night of fun and games being held in the staffroom at 9pm. This is compulsory for all staff and will be held every 4 weeks to increase staff morale and encourage inter house camaraderie._

_You may bring your own alcohol if you so desire._

_Thanking you all for your cooperation and participation in advance._

_Minerva Mcgonagal (Headmistress)_

The next day in the staffroom all the staff were in uproar, "The woman's sick and twisted I tell you" ranted Sirius as he showed the notice to Remus.

"You know who's fault it is really don't you?" commented Harry, the others turned and looked at him in surprise "Hermione's and Severus's and their constant fondness for jumping down each others throats" .

"Makes sense to me" said Remus "But who knows it could be fun and what will be even better is the look on their faces when they realize that they have to spend an entire evening with each other being nice"

"Who has to be nice to who Remus?" asked Hermione as she wandered into the staffroom.

"You and Severus" he grinned and handed her the bit of parchment in his hands.

Severus came storming into the room slamming the door behind him, "Blasted annoying woman, worse than bloody Dumbledore she is, stupid ruddy games night" he was muttering to himself under his breath.

"Everything okay Sev?" asked Sirius

"Oh yeah every thing's just fine and dandy, there's nothing like being forced to take part in some stupid games night to make one happy as a pig in muck" Severus retorted.

"For goodness sake would you please shut up moaning and grow a pair!, it's only a few hours where the staff are expected to socialize and play happy families with one another, even you can manage that and afterwards you can slink off to the dungeons and be the miserable sod that we all know and love once again" snapped Hermione.

The entire staffroom just stopped what it was doing to look at Hermione and Severus who stood toe to toe glaring at each other.

Severus looked down at the girl, no scratch that he thought woman who had been the biggest pain in his side since she'd started working there a few years ago and gave her his trademark smirk, "Well thank you for that insightful speech little Miss Know It All, but for your information I've no need to grow a pair as you so eloquently put it! as I've all ready got a quite impressive set to begin with even if I do say so myself, although if you don't believe me you're more than welcome to check them out"

"No thanks! if I wanted to look at a something that's pink and disgusting I'd go down to Hagrids hut and play with the flobberworms" she retorted and with a flick of her hair she flounced out of the staffroom saying bye to Harry on the way and affectionately ruffling Remus's head as she passed.

Sirius laughed " You asked for that one mate if you asked me"

"Quiet you mongrel, I don't believe I asked for your opinion on the matter, now if anyone wants me I shall be in my lab making some potions for Poppy" replied Severus and resisting the urge to stick his tongue out at Sirius for his remark he swiftly left and made his way down to the dungeons.


	2. Memories

**Staff behaving badly**

I own nothing, everything written is just for fun and not profit, although reviews are always welcomed.

This is set 5 years after the war and Hermione has been teaching transfiguration for the last 3 years and is head of Gryfindor, also on the staff are Harry (Quidditch) Sirius (Charms) and Remus (Dada) and obviously Potions is being taught by Severus.

I would just like to say a special thank you to GreenEyedRedHead1994 for being the first to review and to all those of you who have put my story on alert thank you also, but reviews are better.

**Chapter 2**

Alone in his potions lab Severus unbuttoned and removed his outer robes before starting to make a batch of Pepper up potion for Poppy, and as this was one of those potions that he could make in his sleep his mind began to wander as it usually did. Now on this particular occasion Severus's wandering mind took him down a well worn memory path to the day when he'd found out that Hermione and Harry were going to be on the staff at Hogwarts.

_**Flashback: 3 years earlier**_

_Hogwarts staffroom a couple of days before the start of term._

_Severus was sat in HIS chair (well technically it wasn't his but nobody else dared to sit in it after one of the temporary teachers had to be admitted to the infirmary for third degree burns to his bum after sitting on it.) waiting for Minerva to hurry up and get on with her usual start of year speech, Remus and Sirius were sat beside him as normal discussing about who they thought was going to take over the flying teachers post this year._

"_Hello everybody and welcome back I hope that you are all as eager as I am for another school year" she deliberately looked over at Severus and raised an eyebrow at him, who just smirked back at her. "Now before you all slink off to Aberforths, I would just like to inform you that not only have I found a permanent replacement for Madam Hooch but also a new Transfiguration teacher as I am devoting more time to my role as headmistress this year". She paused for a moment to let this information sink in before continuing "Now before I reveal who our new members of staff are, the reason they are not here in person at this meeting is because due to some unforeseen circumstance they have been delayed but they will meet you all in the pub later for a relaxed meet and greet"._

"_Oh for pity's sake, I wish she'd just hurry up and tell us who it is so we can get out of here" muttered Severus under his breath to Remus and Sirius, unfortunately for him it was heard by Minerva and earned him a most disapproving look from the headmistress of Hogwarts._

"_Seeing as some of you are so eager to be out of my company I will get straight to the point, the position of flying instructor goes to Harry Potter while the Transfiguration post goes Hermione Granger. Now even though some of you may be unhappy with this choice." she looked round the room her steely gaze resting on Severus's face slightly longer than the others, "Just beware that I chose them both specifically for reasons I'm not going to elaborate on with you," she looked her watch and smiled "I think you've all been here long enough, you'd better hurry up or Aberforth will have a search party out looking for his favorite customers. Now unless it's an absolute emergency I will not be available till tomorrow morning, so have a good night and try to remember to have a sober up potion beside the bed as it'll make Poppy's life just a little easier."_

_Severus sat back in his chair wondering if Minerva had finally lost the plot, The Boy Who Lived and the Bushy Haired Know It All on the staff, was there to be no peace for him. He heard someone talking to him and realized he hadn't been paying the slightest bit of attention "Sorry I just spaced off for a minute there, what were you saying again?"_

_Remus laughed and shook his head "I said are you ready to go as Sirius is rather keen to have a word with Harry and Hermione about why they chose to keep this bit of info from us, because last time we heard from them they were up in Romania visiting Charlie Weasley on the dragon reservation."_

"_Fine let's go" he got up and followed the two men in front of him that he actually thought of as his friends now that they'd gotten over all the incidents and misunderstandings that had happened before the final battle. _

_Within about 10 minutes the three men had arrived at the Hog's Head inn which was run by Albus's brother Aberforth (it was the favorite drinking hole for the staff at Hogwarts for two reasons, one the drinks were cheap and secondly but most importantly the students rarely went in there). Severus and Remus made their way over to their usual table by the fire while Sirius got a round of firewhisky's in._

_While his friends chatted quite happily about the prospects of working with Harry and Hermione, Severus was sat quietly nursing his drink wondering how soon he could leave without it seeming rude when suddenly the door swung open and in walked somebody he thought definitely fit the Muggle term sex on legs, his drink had paused halfway to his mouth as he watched the woman walk towards his table with her long golden brown silky curls bouncing gently, a Hot! curvaceous body that would make Aphrodite herself envious, and long luscious legs that were encased in skintight black denim jeans that made a man just want to wrap them around his waist and bury his cock deep inside that hot wet... FUCK! his eyes had just connected with the woman's own amber eyes which he noticed in his lust addled mind were full of humor and just a tiny bit of lust as if she knew just exactly what he'd been thinking. Finally his brain caught up to speed and proceeded to tell him in a loud crystal clear voice the vision of loveliness that he just been perving over was no other than the Gryfindor princess herself Hermione Granger. _

_He watched her hug his companions and then she turned towards him and a part of his brain was hoping that she would hug him too, while the other side was screaming at him to run for the door and not look back. Before his brain knew exactly was going on Hermione had wrapped her arms around him and given him a kiss on the cheek "Hello Severus, how's things?"_

"_For goodness sake, Mia what have I told you abut going around hugging strange old men" Harry told her as he placed the tray of drinks he was carrying on the table._

"_Oi! Ya cheeky sod less of the old thank you very much, I happen to be in the prime of my life" said Sirius waggling his eyebrows at Hermione suggestively who just laughed at him and rolled her eyes._

_As he sat there watching the banter go back and forth between the friends, his own mind was raging a battle in his head, on one hand he couldn't believe he'd actually sat and perved over the one student who had actually made teaching worthwhile even if he'd never told her that, and the other side was telling him to go head and perv away as she was no longer his student, she was a young nubile twenty year old witch just ripe for the plucking, just imagine,his mind was telling him those plump pink lips wrapped around your cock with you watching her bob up and down._

_Severus stood up disgusted with his train of thought, Hermione did not deserve the likes of him lusting after her the best thing to do would be to keep a barrier up between them. He gave his goodbyes and left the pub all the while berating himself for his stupid actions today._

_**Present day:**_

Only when Severus had finished bottling the potion did he realize that his harmless little trip down memory lane had left him with an enormous hard on, that no amount of thinking about Trelawny in a string bikini was going to make go away. He locked and warded his labs then he unzipped his pants, took out his thick cock (he's gone commando in this one folks for easy access to all that yummy sexy Snape goodness) and began stroking and pulling at it just the way he liked all the while visions of a certain Transfiguration teacher danced naked in his head.

Please review it's much appreciated, and all reviews or questions will be replied to.

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy it. XX


	3. Guinea Pigs

**Staff behaving badly**

I own nothing, everything written is just for fun and not profit, although reviews are always welcomed.

This is set 5 years after the war and Hermione has been teaching transfiguration for the last 3 years and is head of Gryfindor, also on the staff are Harry (Quidditch) Sirius (Charms) and Remus (Dada) and obviously Potions is being taught by Severus.

I would just like to say a special thank you to all those of you who were kind enough to review and to all those of you who have put my story on alert thank you also, but reviews are better.

**Chapter 3**

**The first monthly staff fun night.**

"Hurry up Mia!, it's 8:45 and if we don't get there soon Mcgonagal is going to eat us alive".

"OK, OK keep your hair on I'm coming" replied Hermione while pulling on a tight black t-shirt which said WITCHES WHO CAN TRANSFIGURE LIKE TO MAKE THINGS BIGGER! In bright pink writing right across her chest.

"I can't believe you're actually going to wear that t-shirt tonight"said Harry laughing at his best friend's choice in clothing, he grabbed a couple of bottles of vodka and coke from their shared sitting room, linked her arm in his and set off for the staff room.

At around 8:50pm most of the Hogwarts staff were already in the staff room making a start on the ridiculously large and varied amount of alcohol that been brought by all the various members of staff.

"It's about bloody time you two showed up, now hurry up and park your bums before Sybil decides to comes over" Sirius hissed at them.

Hermione smiled sweetly at him "Sorry Pads but it was my fault, I honestly couldn't decide which t-shirt to wear" she turned to Severus "what do you think? It was a toss up between this or one that said Gryfindor's Rock, Slytherins Are Cocks, but I felt like it kinda went against what Minerva wants from this evening" then she decided to go and sit on the big comfy sofa in between Harry and Sirius which meant that Severus was just behind them in his chair of course,

Severus lent forwards and whispered just loud enough for those on the sofa to hear "I don't know about most Slytherins cocks, but mine is right here waiting to be serviced if you're offering, now see personally I think that a witch should know her place in life either on her knees pleasuring her man or in the kitchen feeding him and I know that all men agree with this even if they won't admit it out allowed"

"Sexist pig" hissed Hermione back at him "I wouldn't touch your dick with a somebody else's hand let alone stick it in my mouth"

"Insufferable know it all"

"Greasy haired bat"

"Stupid little Gryffyndork"

Before Hermione could retaliate Harry nudged her with his elbow to warn her of Minerva's presence, she quickly glared at Severus before turning round and giving the headmistress her full attention.

Minerva stood before her assembled staff and began to explain what exactly she wanted from these meetings " Now the reason for these monthly gatherings is to improve inter house relations which will make for better working conditions for all of us, now I see that you've dressed casually today which is good but just so you know in the future I may make it a themed fun night" as she looked around the room at the horrified looks on their faces she smiled.

Minerva was aware of some muttering across the room and as she looked over Hermione and Severus quite clearly disagreeing on something, no surprise there then while Harry, Remus and Sirius were just sat listening to them with expressions of amusement on their faces.

As she stood there watching this little spectacle she saw Harry clock her gaze and nudge Hermione who promptly glared at Severus and tried her best to look like she'd been paying attention the entire time. Minerva's inner little devil did a happy dance as a thought popped into her head.

"Excellent I seem to have everyone's full attention, now for a bit of fun I have a little game I would like you all to do, so if I could have two volunteer guinea pigs to show everyone else how it's done...ah Hermione and Severus wonderful, now if you would like to come on up here so everyone has a good view" she was fully aware that the pair of them were looking at her as if given a moments chance both of them would either flee or hex her into oblivion.

"Now this little game is very simple all you have to do is stare into each others eyes for sixty seconds, the whole purpose of this is to show the importance of eye contact and as we all know the eyes are the windows of the soul".

The two guinea pigs looked like they were going to be sick at the thought of having to stare into each others eyes.

"But he's an Legilimens!" blurted out Hermione "I have no desire for him to use this opportunity to go for a wander through my private memories".

"And why would I choose to do something as boring as look through your mind?, I can assure you Ms Granger I'd rather teach a whole class of Neville Longbottoms than delve into your dusty bookish, infinitely inferior little mind" he drawled snidely.

Hermione's blood was boiling, did he actually say that she had a tiny inferior mind, the nerve of that insufferable man, with out even realizing what she had done she'd whipped out her wand and jabbed it hard into Severus's neck.

"That's enough! Now if you'd like put away your wand Hermione, I'm positive Severus will apologize for what he said just as soon as he able to swallow with being hexed." Minerva gave him such a glare which left him in no doubt that if he didn't apologize then heads would roll.

Hermione slowly lowered her wand and rather reluctantly slipped it back into it's sheath on the inside of her forearm.

"I sincerely apologize for calling your mind little Hermione, please forgive me" he said with a little smirk and his trademarked arched eyebrow.

" Good!, now that's all cleared up lets get back to our little demonstration, so if you would please be so kind to turn and face each other, that's it now making sure you have direct eye contact I want you to stare into the other persons eyes for sixty seconds starting now, and remember no talking." Minerva silently congratulated herself for adding that last bit, honestly she thought the sooner they give into their feelings about one another the better.

Severus looked down into the rather impressive little witch's amber eyes that were blazing at him full of anger, he knew when he said them that his words would provoke an reaction but never in his wildest dreams did he think that she'd pull her wand out on him, sweet Merlin help him all he wanted to do was sweep her up in his arms, take her down to his rooms and hear her scream his name as he fucked her senseless.

"Just focus on the anger Hermione" she thought as her eyes locked on to a pair obsidian colored ones, "Don't you dare think about how sexy his eyes are framed by those long black eyelashes, or the way when he stares at you intently like he is now your insides turn to mush." She groaned internally, who was she trying to kid she had it bad for the man in front of her and those X-rated fantasies she had about him were the reasons she didn't want him taking a jolly little stroll through her head, because the last thing he needed to know was how badly she wanted him to drag her off to the dungeons and fuck her long and hard over his desk. "Like that was ever going to happen" she thought bitterly because if there was one thing she knew for sure and she knew a lot of things, it was that Severus Tobias Snape Potions Master extraordinaire and the world's ultimate sexy bad boy, had no feelings for her apart from one of extreme hate.

"And that folks is what I want you to do, so choose a partner and start staring" Minerva stopped what she was saying to take a note from an owl that had just flew in the room, after she'd finished reading it she popped it in her pocket and addressed the room "I'm sorry everybody but unfortunately somethings just cropped up that requires my immediate attention, so just have fun and try not to drink too much" her Grey eyes twinkling with amusement as she left the room.

Hermione broke eye contact first, looked over at Harry and said "Where's the vodka hun? because I am in dire need of a stiff drink" Harry poured her a glass of vodka and coke over ice which was downed in one, she handed him the glass back "almost right my love but this time no coke more vodka please".

Severus on the other hand had to take a minute to try and control the raging hard on that was threatening to bust the seams on his trousers "Thank merlin he'd had the foresight to wear his robes to this personal hell he was in" he thought. His private musing were cut short by somebody slapping his back and pressing a glass of firewhisky into his hand.

"Oh man! That was the funniest thing I've seen in ages thanks Sev" laughed Sirius "I honestly thought she was going to rip your head off, everyone knows not to insult Hermione's intelligence and brain capacity for fear of retribution, and if they didn't they do now" he chortled.

Remus joined in on the light hearted teasing "It's a good thing Minnie was there to save you from the wrath of our sweet little Hermione, mind you she probably didn't want the hassle of finding a new Potions Master"

Severus raised an eyebrow at the two marauders and said "Don't be stupid, I was in complete control of the situation the entire time" he paused and while taking a long swig of his drink he looked over at Hermione who was talking very animatedly to Harry, then continued "And besides sometimes flirting with danger is a good thing." He finished his drink and grimaced at it's bitterness "Who on earth brought this muck?" he asked turning to his friends "I've got a bottle of Ogden's finest reserve firewhisky with our names on it in my quarters, if you'd care to join me?"

With no persuasion needed both men followed Severus out of the staffroom unaware of a pair of amber eyes watching them go.

I hope that you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.

And as a added bonus anyone who leaves a review will be treated to a preview from my next chapter.


	4. Filler

**Staff behaving badly**

I own nothing, everything written is just for fun and not profit, although reviews are always welcomed.

This is set 5 years after the war and Hermione has been teaching transfiguration for the last 3 years and is head of Gryfindor, also on the staff are Harry (Quidditch) Sirius (Charms) and Remus (Dada) and obviously Potions is being taught by Severus.

I would just like to say a special thank you to all those of you who were kind enough to review and to all those of you who have put my story on alert thank you also, but reviews are better.

Sorry to get your hopes up folks, this is just some filler I thought you needed to know before the next chapter.

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Staff Roll Call

Headmistress: Professor Minerva Mcgonagal (75)

Deputy Head: Prof Fitzwilliam Butler (67)

Potions: Prof Severus Snape (43)

Charms: Prof Sirius Black (43)

D.A.D.A: Prof Remus Lupin (43)

Transfiguration: Prof Hermione Granger (23)

Flying instructor: Prof Harry Potter (22)

Astronomy: Prof Aurora Sinistra (38)

History of Magic: Prof Binns (age irrelevant as he is a ghost)

Herbology: Prof Pomona Sprout (58)

Arithmancy: Prof Imogen Vector (39)

Ancient Runes: Prof Bathsheda Babbling (73)

Divination: Prof Sybil Trelawny (45)

: Prof Firenze (Unknown, but I always imagined that if he were , human he'd be in his forties.)

Care Of Magical Creatures: Prof Reubeus Hagrid (62)

Muggle Studies: Prof Fitzwilliam Butler (67, this is my own character I made him up to fill this post)

Caretaker: Argus Filch (79)

Librarian: Irma Pince (69)

Healer: Poppy Pomfrey (57)

Now I know that this might seem a bit pointless, but please humor me, it's just that the next chapter includes fancy dress and I needed to get everyone's name down and their ages to help me pick out their costumes.

I already have the costumes sorted for Hermione, Harry, Remus, Sirius and of course Severus but if you have any ideas for the others please send them in as I would love to hear what you think.


	5. Dancing girl

**Staff behaving badly**

I own nothing, everything written is just for fun and not profit, although reviews are always welcomed.

This is set 5 years after the war and Hermione has been teaching transfiguration for the last 3 years and is head of Gryfindor, also on the staff are Harry (Quidditch) Sirius (Charms) and Remus (Dada) and obviously Potions is being taught by Severus.

I would just like to say a special thank you to all those of you who were kind enough to review and to all those of you who have put my story on alert thank you also, but reviews are better.

I would just like to apologize once again for teasing you with that filler chapter, I hope you enjoy this one.

**Chapter 4**

Staff Fun Night No 2: Halloween costume party

Harry watched as Hermione put the finish touches to her costume, she looked over at him and he could see her fear being over ruled by her large reserve of Gryfindor courage " Well?" she asked "Do you think he'll notice me?".

"Mia my love, you are a Goddess to be worshiped. If only I was the one to of captured your heart, I would be a truly happy man but alas you are saving your heart for another. So instead of just pining for what could never be, I Harry James Potter do hereby swear upon my honor to assist you Hermione Jean Granger in your quest to get your hearts desire one Severus Tobias Snape." He knelt down on one knee, bowed his head and offered his wand up Hermione "I am your loyal servant do with me what you will"

"You may rise, your pledge of loyalty pleases me" she said in mock seriousness, Now then where did I put my cloak? because there's not a snowball' chance in hell I'm walking through the corridors dressed like this.

As Harry handed over the cloak she'd been looking for his mind wandered back to a conversation they'd had a couple of weeks ago

_They were enjoying their usual Sunday chill out session, when he'd decided to bite the bullet and ask Hermione the question he'd wanted to ask for years._

"_Mia can I ask you something?"_

"_Sure Harry, unless it's something like will I massage your feet then the answers no."_

_He rolled his eyes "It's not that, although if you loved me you would, no what I was going to ask was … Why do you hate Severus so much? I mean I know he's a bit of an arse sometimes" _

"_Sometimes Harry? Try all the time" she interrupted._

"_Do you know that there's been a quite few times when I've watched you butt heads with him and I've not been entirely sure whether you're going to kill him or kiss him, you're my bestest best friend in the whole entire world and there's nothing that you can't tell me, you know that."_

_Hermione sighed " I don't hate him Harry I never have, I just can't help myself because whenever he's around he seems to enjoy bringing out the worst in me" she paused and ran her fingers through her hair in frustration._

"_I truly wish I hated him it would make life so much easier but the sad fact of the matter is that I'm hopelessly in love with a man who hates me."_

_Harry pulled her into a tight hug, he'd known for along time that she was in love with Severus he'd just needed her to admit it out loud so that he could work on playing cupid, because thanks to the two Marauders who had gotten Severus absolutely drunk after the last fun night and had slipped him a glass of Firewhisky with just a tiny drop of Veritaserum in they'd found out the real reason why he acts the way he does towards Hermione. Needless to say after getting over the initial shock they'd told him and now all was left for him to do was to get two of the most stubborn people he knew to lower their guards and let each other in. Simple!_

_As luck would have it a idea came to him in the form of the next staff fun night._

"_Mia I have an excellent idea on how to get you your man"_

"_Tranquilizer dart full of Amortentia" she quipped._

"_Nearly right hun, but instead of potion you are going to use your feminine wiles to drive him insane with lust and the next staff fun night will be the perfect time to start, now to catch a snake you've got to think like a snake."_

_They had spent the rest of the day making plans and doing research into the perfect costume to drive the Potion Master wild._

"Hello earth to Harry, are you ready to go? Are you sure he's going to notice me? Maybe I should wear something different"

He smiled at his friend's nervousness "Mia take a deep breath and relax, as I've already said you look stunning, besides if he doesn't notice you we'll know that he's really a member of the Inferi."

This last comment made her chuckle, she cast a quick silencing charm so she wouldn't jangle as she walked down the corridor "One last thing Harry, THAT snake goes back to Hagrid after this evening, we are not having it as a pet, even if it is just a harmless grass snake and pouting will get you no where."

"Fine you win! Hagrid gets the snake back later, now lets go and wow our colleagues with our snake charmer and belly dancer outfits." The two friends left and quickly headed to the staff room.

Meanwhile already in the staffroom Severus, Remus and Sirius were in a corner laughing their heads off at some of the outfits that were being paraded in front of them.

"Sweet Merlin's sweaty nutsack! somebody please scourgify my eyes I do not want the image of Sybil in a French maids outfit burned into my brain for all of eternity" groaned Sirius hiding behind Remus as Sybil waved at him from across the room.

"Now there's sight to sooth your eyes Pads" murmured Remus nodding his head at a very sexy looking Little Red Riding Hood (Imogen Vector)and Tinkerbell (Aurora Sinistra) who were talking to a very realistic messy scarecrow (Pomona Sprout).

The head mistress was doing the rounds of the room when she noticed the three men laughing away in the corner and decided go over and chat to them "It's nice to see that some of you made an effort this evening" said Minerva looking at Sirius's pirate costume and Remus's Robin hood, she gave Severus who'd come dressed as Zorro a mock scowl, "Black again Severus? How predictable."

"At least I'm wearing a costume Minnie, I thought that everyone had to wear a costume including you" he retorted with his trademark smirk on his face because he knew full well that she was dressed as the wicked witch from the muggle film the Wizard of Oz.

Before Minerva could reply the door opened and in walked Harry who looked like something out of Arabian nights, under one arm he had a wicker basket that had a little green grass snake poking it's head out and in the other was a flute. Hermione was right behind him with her cloak wrapped tightly around her.

Minerva walked over to them and said a quick hello before having to go and rescue Hagrid who was being harassed by a drunk Sybil for a dance.

They made their way over to Severus, Sirius and Remus were stood, Harry bowed low and pretended to introduce themselves "Good evening to you gentlemen, my name's Harry and I'll be your snake charmer this evening and this is my lovely young dancing girl" he clapped his hands and Hermione removed her cloak to reveal a 1950s Hollywood dancer of the seven veils style harem outfit in silver and green.

"Hells Bells woman! An outfit like that could give a man a heart failure" exclaimed Severus as he tried hard but failed miserably not to stare at Hermione's costume or lack of it.

He watched the brazen little witch wink at him and could of sworn he'd heard her whisper "I'm very sorry my outfit displeases you Master, I will remove it for you if you like." as she passed him to give the two Marauders a hug.

She'd come as Harry's slave girl so she'd spent the entire night in character fetching them drinks, the silver coins on her skirt driving him mad with their tinkling sound as she moved in time to the music that was playing, his mind was not his friend to night as it kept sending him erotic pictures of her dancing just for him slowly removing the scarves from her skirt till only silk green panties remained.

Hermione loved the effect she was having on Severus who'd spent the entire night just staring at her like a starving man before a feast, she'd been really naughty by sending him low wave mental images of herself dancing for him slowly removing the scarves till all she was wearing was green silk panties, admittedly the thought of performing a strip tease for him was turning her on as well, so much so that the panties she was wearing were slightly moist.

Severus had decided enough was enough there was only so much torture a man can endure before he snaps, and the sight of Hermione casually lick the foam from the neck of her beer bottle had been the one to send him over the edge, now normally he'd say she'd done it subconsciously and would of done so again tonight till he realized that she had been watching him the entire time. Now he was a take charge kind of guy who disliked having the rules of the game changed halfway through, "If she wants to play with fire" Severus thought "Then he was more than willing to give her the matches."

He made sure the next time she looked his way that he deliberately held her gaze, winked and raised his glass to her to let her know that he was onto her and was more than willing to play by the new rules of their strange game.

Later that night as she laid in bed she wondered what would happen next now that the rules of war had changed, "It was going to be eventful thats for sure" she thought as she drifted off to sleep, dreaming of a masked man who watched her dance just for him.

I hope you all enjoy reading this chapter, I chose not to mention all the outfits at the party just because it would make this chapter really long, but if you would like to know, just send me a message and I'll send a list to you.

I couldn't find an exact picture for Hermione's outfit online and believe me I looked (which is one of the reasons I've taken a bit longer getting this chapter posted) but the image in my head is based on the 1950's Hollywood movies, the one that is most like it is the outfit from the first (of four) dance sequences from the 1955 film, "Son of Sinbad" if you wanted to look it up just go to youtube and type Fifties cheesecake dance no 5 and just imagine it in Slytherin colours.

Sorry for waffling on a bit there please read and review and as always anyone who reviews will get a sneaky peak at the next chapter as a reward. xx


	6. Screaming orgasm

**Staff behaving badly**

I own nothing, everything written is just for fun and not profit, although reviews are always welcomed.

This is set 5 years after the war and Hermione has been teaching transfiguration for the last 3 years and is head of Gryfindor, also on the staff are Harry (Quidditch) Sirius (Charms) and Remus (Dada) and obviously Potions is being taught by Severus.

I would just like to say a special thank you to all those of you who were kind enough to review and to all those of you who have put my story on alert thank you also, but reviews are better.

**Chapter 5.**

_**POLITE NOTICE**_

_**The staff fun night will take place on the 18th of November the theme will be Muggle and Wizarding family games, the dress code is casual and you may bring your own alcohol if you wish.**_

_**Minerva Mcgonagal**_

_**Headmistress**_

Severus waited until his shower was full of steam before slowly removing his clothes and putting them in his wicker basket, just because the castle had house elves there was no need to act like a slob. He stepped under the hot running water and groaned in bliss as it began to work it's magic on his tired muscles, placing a large dollop of shower gel in his hand he began rubbing it over his wet skin, while imagining that it was Hermione's soft hand massaging the gel into a lather over his toned chest and abs, closing his eyes he allowed the fantasy to take over.

It was almost as if she was there with him, placing ghost kisses across muscled shoulders then down along his spine, Severus's hands moved down towards his cock and he began stroke it slowly up and down skimming the top with his thumb, the pace increasing as if he could feel her wet body pressed against his back with one arm wrapped tightly around him keeping him in place the other was pumping him faster and faster, he was close to release and her voice whispered in his head "Come for me Sev, show me how much you want me" pushing him over the edge, he came suddenly, her name escaping his lips in a low moan. After slumping against the cool wall of his shower cubicle for a few minutes he quickly finished showering, got out and tying a towel around his hips he went to peruse his wardrobe wondering what he should wear tonight, he smirked as he looked through his wardrobe contrary to the popular belief of his dunderheaded students he did have something other than black in there, finally settling on a dove Grey turtle neck sweater and teaming it with some black woolen trousers, after casting a drying spell on his hair he took a final look in the mirror, shrugged and set off to the staff room.

Hermione was sat playing cards with Sirius, Remus and Harry when he entered, she appeared to be entertaining them with a story or something as they were all laughing, as he walked past them to get a drink he listened in.

"Mia was on fire last night, at one stage the bouncers threatened to kick us out because she was dancing on the table top, but she managed to sweet talk him round to the point we had free drinks all night" said Harry.

"And how did you manage that kitten?" Severus bit his tongue to stop himself from hexing Sirius, the no good mutt had no right to use flirtatious endearments with his witch, he knew he was being irrational but he couldn't help it.

"Well Pads I showed a large amount of cleavage, batted my eyelashes and promised to be a very good girl while innocently sucking on a pink lollipop, needless to say he wasn't impressed so I gave him Harry's number and hey presto free drinks all night." She turned round laughing and saw Severus staring intently at her.

Hermione looked over at him and subconsciously licked her lips because he looked down right edible in that turtle neck, she decided to go and challenge him to game, her inner minx was grinning wildly this was going to be fun.

"Hello Severus" she noted that his eyebrow raised a little at her using his first name but he held his ground, "I was wondering if you'd like to play a game with me? Gentleman's choice of course."

Harry came over and handed her a drink "A little tip, Hermione hates Wizard chess."

"Oh hush Harry, I'm sure Severus needs no help from you in choosing a game" she smacked his arm "now scoot!"

She took a long sip of her drink "Mmmmm I needed that."

Severus eyed the brown chocolaty drink topped with whipped cream suspiciously "What exactly is it?"

She smiled "A multiple screaming orgasm, unfortunately I just don't get enough of them, so how about it Severus are you up for it?"

Hermione watched amused as Severus's mind tried to catch up with the conversation, "have you decided if you want to play a game with me?

Severus cleared his throat "Sure it's not like I've anywhere else to be, I have a preference for chess is that ok?"

Hermione wasn't surprised that he'd chosen chess, apart from the fact the man ran the school chess club but teamed with the fact he's Slytherin and he'd just been told that she hated chess it was a no brainer, still it was all apart of her long term goal to snag him. "That's fine by me I don't care what colour I am, it makes no difference."

She watched him smirk as he set up the board the black on his side mentally rolling her eyes at the obvious choice, so he thought this was going to be easy did he well he'd soon find out that while she may not be as good as him, you don't spend half of your life hanging around with someone as good at as Ron without picking up a few tips.

"I presume you do know how to play or do I need to give you instructions?"

"Of course, I never play a game without reading and fully understanding the rules before hand, it saves time and makes for less arguments later on because I'm always right." she took another long drink looking him straight in the eye. "e2 to e4" let the game begin she thought.

"g8 to h6"

The game went on for at least half an hour till Severus's queen spectacularly decapitated Hermione's last remaining knight and held the king in checkmate her sword poised at his throat.

"Okay you win, tell your queen to back down"

"Obviously!" he tapped his wand on the board and addressed the piece in question "Well played my lady" the queen gave a low bow before ordering the rest of the pieces into the box, "This is my own personal chess set" he said to Hermione as way of explaining his behavior "So, would you like a rematch to win back your honor or try your luck at another game?, Ladies choice obviously" mimicking her words earlier.

"A different game would be most pleasurable, but what do I really want to play?" as she pretended to think about the question she spied Harry with a Scrabble board and grinned to herself, chess was ok but Scrabble was better and she was the best.

"Harry please could you bring that board over as I'm going to try and win my honor back from Sev," I'm not going to act confident she thought, lets lull him into a false sense of security and then hand him his arse on a plate. She looked across the table at him, he was looking pretty smug, swirling the amber liquid in his glass around he looked up caught her looking at him and smirked

"Smug bastard" she thought suddenly a naughty thought popped in her head making her inner minx do another happy dance.

Hermione knew exactly what she was saying and how it would sound to the rest of the room when she innocently said "Sirius honey please will you give me another Multiple screaming orgasm, nobody is able to do them just like you" Severus choked on his drink as the entire staffroom erupted in laughter. "get your minds out of the gutter you're worse than the Yr 7 boys for smutty innuendos.

Harry jumped on the band wagon "You know Mia, they'd like to get in your endo" he ducked as she threw a cushion at him "What! That was funny and you know it, besides you've got to love me"

"Really? Since when?" she retorted in mock seriousness.

"Since I'm your best friend and I still have the Scrabble board, and since your being mean I won't let you have it, so there!" he stuck his tongue out at her and pretended to sulk.

She rolled her eyes "Fine be a big girls blouse then, I'll do this the easy way, Accio Scrabble board" the board came over and landed lightly on the table, "You set up I'll get us fresh drinks and some nibbles" she winked at Severus "Sorry for the drama he can't help it."

Hermione went up to Harry whispered something in his ear, ruffled his hair affectionately and then grabbed a bottle of beer for herself and a fresh glass of firewhisky for Severus, as she walked past the table Harry, Remus and Sirius were sitting at she leaned over and grabbed the nachos on their table blowing them a kiss as she did so.

The three men just shook their heads in amusement at her, letting her get away with murder as usual Severus watched as the flirty witch walked towards him, her hips swaying naturally, how did she do it he wondered she had them eating out of the palm of her hand, and as far as he knew she'd never slept with either of the Marauders but he was sure if she'd offered they wouldn't turn her down, "Damn it to hell! Why the fuck is she interested in me now?, after I've spent the last three years being a right royal bastard to her, admittedly she's given as good as she got, why the change in her attitude?, why can't she see that she'll be better off with out me?why can't I resist those amber eyes , those perfect pouty lips that she chews when she's concentrating on something." Severus's internal ranting stopped as soon as she arrived back at the table, he sighed "I'm sorry Hermione but I've just remembered I have a appointment in Hogsmeade in half an hour, another time perhaps?" he watched the amusement fade from her eyes but she quickly put on a false facade.

"Of course Severus I understand fully, have a nice evening" unable to keep the facade up for long she placed the drinks and nachos on the table and quickly left the room.

Harry who had been watching the entire thing mouthed the word liar at him stood up and followed his best friend, meanwhile Sirius and Remus just looked at him as if he'd lost the plot, unable to stay in the room a moment longer, he left the castle and headed to the Hogs head for privacy and some in depth wallowing.


	7. Dandy Highwayman

**Staff behaving badly**

I own nothing, everything written is just for fun and not profit, although reviews are always welcomed.

This is set 5 years after the war and Hermione has been teaching transfiguration for the last 3 years and is head of Gryfindor, also on the staff are Harry (Quidditch) Sirius (Charms) and Remus (Dada) and obviously Potions is being taught by Severus.

I would just like to say a special thank you to all those of you who were kind enough to review and to all those of you who have put my story on alert thank you also, but reviews are better.

**Chapter 6.**

_**Polite Notice.**_

_This months staff get together will coincide with the staff Christmas party (22__nd__ December) as usual attendance in compulsory, I will be sending each of you an owl with who you will be purchasing a secret Santa gift for, This years Santa will be played by Hagrid all presents are to be handed to me by December the 21__st. _

_Minerva Mcgonagal_

_Headmistress_

Hermione looked at the piece of paper in her hand _Severus Snape_ and sighed what do you get a man who you happen to be hopelessly in love with, but who seems to fancy you but doesn't act on it and who is also a complete and utter arse with sarcastic tendencies most of the time, she had less than twenty fours hours to choose a gift then it hit her she knew the perfect gift for him, wrapping her winter cloak about she hurried down to the apparition point and popped to one her favorite haunts in the Muggle world, Barnes and Noble.

Thanking Merlin for Christmas opening times, she stepped inside, quickly finding and paying for what she was looking for, left the building and hurried down a nearby alley, after making sure the alley was deserted she apparated back to just outside Hogwarts.

The entire student body had left earlier that day on the Hogwarts express, so the castle had a feeling of desertion to it, she popped her MP3 earphones in switched it to one of her favorite songs and walked to her rooms not really paying attention to her surroundings singing along "_I'm the dandy highway man that you're too scared to mention, I spend my cash on looking flash and grabbing your attention"_ when she collided with a solid object in front of her and would of fallen flat on her bum if two strong arms hadn't grabbed her and pulled her close.

She looked up into a pair of obsidian eyes which seemed to be twinkling with humor, "I'm sorry Severus I wasn't paying attention to where I was going"

"Obviously" he bent his head to listen to her earphones, his breath on her ear made her pulse race, "I never had you pegged for liking Eighties music."

Hermione realized that somehow she'd ended up pressed against the wall with barely an inch between them, her mouth felt dry so before she trusted herself to speak she licked her lips noticing the effect that had on him."There's a lot of things that you don't know about me, probably because you spend most of the time being an arse to me"

"I am truly sorry for upsetting you, but I do not mean it."she could see the remorse in his eyes.

"Prove it" She licked her lips for effect.

Severus's eyes were transfixed on her lips and he slowly lowered his head to capture them, their lips met briefly but before either of them could deepen the kiss they heard Filch coming down the corridor talking to Mrs Norris. Severus swiftly turned and walked away leaving Hermione breathless and gobsmacked.

After about five minutes of nothing but incoherent thought Hermione finally made it back to the rooms she shared with Harry, Harry was busy wrapping a book about Nostradamus for Sybil when he saw Hermione come in and slump on their worn but comfy sofa "Hey hun are you okay? You look kinda shell shocked to say the least" asked Harry

"He kissed me."

"Who kissed you ? You're not making sense woman"

"He kissed me, Severus kissed me" she accepted the glass of vodka being handed to her.

"Okay first things first you need to hurry up and get that wrapped before Minnie comes and shouts at us, them we can have a long chat and you can tell me everything" Harry went up and got the bottle of vodka while she waved her wand over the present which not only wrapped it but sent it direct to the headmistress's office along with Harry's.

About an hour and three or four glasses of vodka later Hermione finished telling her tale.

"So what do I do now Harry?

"To be perfectly honest, I've not a bloody clue but I do think that we should wait till tomorrow before we do anything" he cuddled into her on the sofa.

"Why tomorrow?"she asked confused.

"Because my love we're slightly shit faced, and if either of us tries to stand I have a funny feeling the floor will meet us on the way up."

She giggled "Love you loads Harry"

"Back at you, now where's that bottle? we might as well finish it" the two of them ended up passing out on the sofa till the morning when they were rudely awoken by Sirius in his dog form barking at them.

"WOOF WOOF!" Sirius changed back into his human form and started laughing at the two very hungover people in front of him.

"Fuck off you bastard!... Owww my head feels like a freight train is running through it, Accio hangover potion" after drinking half the vial she handed the rest to Harry who looked like she felt "Harry remind me not to drink ever again and as for you, you absolute wanker is there a reason you're here or do you like being an annoying knob first thing in a morning?

"Good afternoon to you too Kitten" Sirius chuckled "Firstly does Minnie know you have a potty mouth and secondly it's one in the afternoon and as nobody's seen you all day so I thought I'd come down and check like the good Samaritan I am"

Hermione got up still a little unsteady on her feet "Harry anybody wants me I'll be in the shower for the next hour and as for you mutt, be gone from my presence before I catch fleas" she was just teasing Sirius and to make sure he understood she winked and headed to her shower.

"So Harry why the drinkfest and why wasn't me and Mooney invited?" he sat down in the seat just vacated by Hermione.

Harry looked over at the bathroom, lowered his voice and told Sirius about what had transpired between Hermione and Severus.

"Hey that's great, they're finally getting their act together" exclaimed Sirius.

"Sssh, keep your voice down as we well know nothing goes smoothly in this school, so I am telling you keep this to yourself and Remus, do NOT go spouting congratulations and such like to either of them, do you understand? Because it will make them self conscious and will probably fuck it up" said Harry.

"Look Harry I understand I promise to be a good boy and not tease either of them, now go and get in the shower Minnie wants us all in the great hall for five o clock, for secret Santa and other fun and frolics. He got up and left leaving Harry shaking his head at his godfathers antics.

A/N: Sorry if this seems a bit short but I felt this was a good place to end it, in the next chapter there will be the Christmas party and a New year party to look forward to. I hope you like this chapter.

Please review it makes my day so much brighter. XX


	8. Mistletoe magic

**Staff behaving badly**

I own nothing, everything written is just for fun and not profit, although reviews are always welcomed.

This is set 5 years after the war and Hermione has been teaching transfiguration for the last 3 years and is head of Gryfindor, also on the staff are Harry (Quidditch) Sirius (Charms) and Remus (Dada) and obviously Potions is being taught by Severus.

I would just like to say a special thank you to all those of you who were kind enough to review and to all those of you who have put my story on alert thank you also, but reviews are better.

**Chapter 7.**

By the time Harry and Hermione made it to the great hall the Christmas party was well under way helped along by the the fact that copious amounts of alcohol was being consumed by everyone there.

"Come on Mia" said Harry propelling her over to where Sirius, Remus and Severus were stood talking.

"Harry you go ahead I'm just going to chat with Imogen and Aurora" she waved at the three men before turning towards the two women she'd just mentioned.

"You can't avoid him forever."

"I'm not avoiding him" she hissed "I'm just not ready to be that close to him okay? Now smile and drop the subject" she unlinked her arm and walked over to Imogen and Vector.

"Hey hun would you like a glass of wine we have a nice fruity merlot? or a nice crisp chardonnay?" asked Vector

"Chardonnay please" accepting the rather large glass she sipped it and murmured her approval "Thanks I needed that."

"Come on we might as well go and join that motley crew, it seems pointless us all standing in little groups" said Imogen nodding her head at Harry and the rest.

Hermione sighed inwardly as she followed the older women across the room, she glanced up from her wine glass to see Severus looking at her from beneath his long sooty eyelashes "Damn" she thought "Why does he look at me like that, that look should be outlawed."

As the group stood talking Hagrid's voice boomed out across the hall "Right folks gather round it's time for Santa to hand out presents" Amidst all the drunken cheering Hermione worried whether Severus would like his gift even though he wouldn't know who sent it.

Hagrid who was wearing bright red Santa suit sat down in on a reinforced chair that had been transfigured into looking like a sleigh with Fang who was wearing antlers by his side "HO HO HO MERRY CHRISTMAS to all the staff here at Hogwarts, now when I call your name I want you to come and collect your gift, you don' have to open it in front of us but it would be nice for us all to see. Right then who's first?" he reached down into the red velvet sack and pulled out the first present. "Harry this ones got your name on it."

Harry walked over, took the gift and eagerly opened it, he grinned it was the extra loud quidditch whistle that he'd been wanting ever since he'd read about it in Quidditch Monthly "Thanks guys, it's ace!" he was just about to blow it when Minerva spoke up

"Do NOT use that in the castle Harry or I will be forced to confiscate it." giving him one of her famous glares.

"Yes Headmistress" replied Harry who was grinning like a mischievous little boy.

"Aurora" called Hagrid continuing on with his task.

She opened her gift "My favorite bottle of wine, what lovely people you are thank you"

"Sirius"

Ripping open his present Sirius laughed and remarked dryly "A dog bowl with my name on it, thanks it's just what I always wanted" he gave a mock glare at Severus who just smirked and raised an eyebrow in reply, while the rest of the room was laughing their heads off Hagrid reached into his sack and pulled the next present out.

"Sybil"

Sybil swayed and staggered over to Hagrid, upon opening her gift she flew into a drunken rage muttering something about false prophesies and stupid muggles playing with stuff they didn't understand. Poppy led her over to the other side of the room,gave her another sherry and tried to placate her by telling her that she was a good seer while keeping a straight face.

Harry watched this with amusement, Remus nudged him and in a low voice said "That was pretty mean Harry you know how she feels about her seeing abilities."

Harry shrugged "She deserved it Remus for all those God awful lessons she made me sit through, besides it's not like she's going to remember, the womans wasted."

There was only a few teachers left now who had yet to receive their presents as Hagrid in his wisdom had decided to carry on while Sybil was drunkenly ranting about Nostradamus to anybody who was stupid enough or drunk enough to listen.

"Hermione" called out Hagrid.

She went up, collected her present, said thanks and walked back to her friends before opening it "Nice Sirius, real tasteful" she held up a pair of hot pink fluffy handcuffs and a bottle of massage oil."

Sirius tried hard to look innocent "Hey how do you know it's from me? it could be from Remus or Harry or even... old Sevvie boy here."

"Do you really need me to answer that Pads? Or are you going accept that your abilities as a famous marauder are failing with age" she poked him with her wand " If you like I'll let you keep the handcuffs as the ones I already have are better equipped for me"

Sirius grinned at her "You know I love you kitten, when are you going realize that you're madly in love with me too so we can run away together?"

"Oh Sirius" she deadpanned "I can't hold back any longer, take me now you big stud muffin, fill me up with your love seed, make me a woman!" everybody cracked laughing up as Sirius swung Hermione over his shoulder and proceeded to run off with her.

"I'll teach you to mock me you cheeky witch" he started tickling her "Remus mate I need some help."

Severus had just collected his present and was pleasantly surprised at his gift, a book of sarcastic quotes by famous muggles, he wondered who would send him this book, he looked round the room at his colleagues when his eyes came across Hermione who was being tickled mercilessly by Sirius, he noticed that she was wearing one of those tight little t-shirts which knowing Hermione would have a smartarse comment on it, he looked at the one she was wearing today, the message on it made him smile___**"**__**Don't worry about what people think. They don't do it very often." **_that's when it hit him she had bought him the book, and she'd probably just finished getting it when she'd bumped into him yesterday. "Stop lying to yourself" his inner mind told him "You knew she wasn't paying attention to where she was going but did you get out of the way? No! because you wanted her to bump into you, you wanted to know what music she was listening to as she shimmied down the corridor" he started growing hard as he thought of Hermione dancing just for him "Behave yourself" he told himself sternly but it didn't help because Hermione's top had ridden up from being tickled and he could see a fair bit of her toned stomach, he watched her writhing under the administrations of the older wizard and all he wanted to do was rip Sirius's hands off and beat him senseless with them, but instead he took a deep breath to calm himself before he casually strolled over to them.

"Stop! Please.. hahaha.., Sirius I mean it stop!" squealed Hermione to no affect "Harry do something you arse, Remus give me back my wand now!" the other two wizards were bent double clutching their sides in laughter at their best friends antics.

Severus went up to Remus took the wand out of his hand and handed it to Hermione, noting the look of fear that flickered in the other three mens eyes made him chortle "Bad form Sirius to attack an unarmed witch, and as for you two standing by while said unarmed witch is being attacked the shame!"

Hermione turned to the three men who were now cowering before her, she twirled her wand in her finger tips and grinned evilly "Pay back is a bitch boys" she told them.

The three men started groveling and begging her forgiveness but it fell on deaf ears as she just stood there and muttered a spell she'd developed just for moments like this "Vexo ut permoveo, have fun boys" she turned to Severus "Thank you for your help kind sir, now that these curs have been dealt with would you like to partake in a drink with me?" she smiled sweetly at him.

Severus looked over her shoulder to where Harry, Remus and Sirius were scratching at themselves like they had fleas and started laughing "That would be delightful my lady" he gave a small bow and offered her the crook of his arm "Shall we?"

"Hermione please take the spell off it's not responding to anything we do" begged Harry who was itching his back with his wand.

"Fine but only for you and Remus, Sirius can suffer a bit longer" she waved her wand but did the spell wordlessly there was no way she was giving the counter spell out. Harry and Remus sagged on the sofa in relief while Sirius was now rolling on floor trying to relieve the itching on his back when he felt the itching going lower.

"Oh no!"he yelled "Hermione honey, I'm sorry please take this spell off right now" he was getting really agitated as the itching had just reached the top of his bum.

"Sorry just doesn't cut it I'm afraid Padfoot, you know that I HATE being tickled and yet you don't learn so I'm teaching an old dog a new trick." she winked at Sirius and went over to Severus who had just poured her a glass of wine "Thanks Severus, this is going to be fun to watch", she nodded her head at Sirius who had just transformed into his animagus form and was just about to slide across the rug as dogs are prone to do.

"Sirius Black don't you dare! think about doing that on my floor" shouted Minerva, Sirius gave her his sad puppy eyes and whined. "Hermione please put this mutt out of his misery, so we can get back to the party, honestly sometimes I think the kids are better behaved than you lot" she rolled her eyes at them and resumed her conversation with Poppy.

Hermione smirked at the whining dog "Beg! That's a good doggy, see I told you I would teach you a new trick" Sirius was in a classic begging dog pose whining at her when she ended the spell, he quickly transformed back into himself grumbling.

"You are one Evil little witch Hermione do you know that?"

"You say the sweetest things Sirius" she poked her tongue out at him.

Hermione and Severus had been talking for sometime when Remus came up and asked her for a dance, Severus watched as she was twirled about the great hall' feeling slightly jealous of the way Remus's hands were on her waist "Bloody stupid werewolf" he thought angrily, then the song changed and she was now dancing with Sirius who in his opinion was holding her far too close "Move away from him Hermione, please Merlin don't let his hands wander" he was clenching his fist to stop him from reaching for his wand when he saw Sirius's hand slide down her back and he saw red, he walked over to the couple dancing and tapped Sirius on the shoulder "Do you mind if I cut in old friend" his tone may have been light but the look in his eyes told Sirius that he would be a dead man if he said no.

Sirius smirked back and replied "Of course not old friend as long as Hermione has no objection" they turned to look at her, not trusting her voice she nodded and allowed herself to be swept into Severus's arms.

After a couple of minutes of just enjoying the sensation of being in his arms Hermione finally trusted her voice enough to speak to him "You dance divinely Severus".

He chuckled "You sound surprised, I'm extremely good at a lot of things Hermione"

The way he said this made her shiver with delight, time seemed to stand still as they just stared into each others eyes, barely moving on the spot.

Oblivious to everything around them they didn't notice Sirius, Remus and Harry huddled in a corner whispering like mad, then all of a sudden Sirius quickly conjured up some magical mistletoe above the dancing couple.

As the song ended they reluctantly tried to break apart but they found couldn't, Hermione immediately searched the room for the marauders, she spotted them in a corner snickering to themselves and pointing to something above her head, bracing herself for the worst she looked up and saw the thing she feared the most, mistletoe. "Severus I think you'll find the root of our problem above us, Bloody marauders!"

Severus looked round the room at his co workers the only ones that were actually paying attention to them were the ones stood in a corner snickering so he decided to do the one thing he'd wanted to do all night since he'd seen the beautiful witch in front of him walk in the room. "I'm sorry Hermione but unfortunately the only way for us to get free is to kiss" his eyes glittering with the thought of kissing her.

Hermione mouth went dry and she felt her knees go a little weak, luckily he still had his arms wrapped around her, she couldn't believe she was going to kiss him again, her gaze focused on his lips.

Severus lowered his head and whispered in her ear "I think that if we're going to do this we may as well do it right and put a show on for the three stooges over there" his breath on her ear had the desired effect of making her eyes glaze slightly and her breath quicken. "I definitely owe Sirius a bottle of firewhisky for doing all the hard work for me" he thought, this is one Christmas party Severus was glad he'd been made to attend.

"Okay, what do you have planned?" she asked

Without warning Severus spun her out, then as he spun her back in he dipped her backwards, she gasped in surprise as his mouth swiftly captured hers.

"Oh my god this is amazing" her brain was screaming at her she wrapped her arms around him deepening the kiss, "Please don't let it end" she thought as he slowly straightened upright not breaking the kiss, finally aware of the catcalls being shouted they broke apart breathing heavily.

In the back ground they heard the clock striking midnight Hermione groaned she hadn't realized it was so late if she didn't leave now then she wouldn't get up in time for her early departure in the morning. "I'm sorry Severus but I'm going to have to go, Me and Harry are off to Prague for a few days over Christmas and we have an early portkey to catch."

"I understand, thank you for the dance I hope you have a pleasant Christmas" feeling rejected he gave her a slight bow and turned to walk away when he felt her soft hand on his arm.

"Merry Christmas Severus" she said softly. "Ask me to stay and I'll stay" she thought.

"Good night Hermione" he replied not looking at her and left the room, his brain shouting at him not to leave it hanging like he did, but as usual being the stubborn man that he is he ignored the rational side of his brain for a good dose of self loathing and wallowing in pity.

Meanwhile back in the staff room Hermione glared at the three men who were trying to talk to her "This is not up for discussion understand?" when they agreed she said her goodbyes and good nights to everybody who was still in the room.

As she lay in her bed all she could think of was the kiss and then the rejection in his eyes, she sighed "Why did that gorgeous talented man have to make things so hard?" eventually she dropped off to sleep, dreaming of that kiss.

A/N: I'm sorry this chapter's taken so long to post but my husband has hogged the computer a lot this week and then I practically had to rewrite a huge chunk of it because I didn't like the way it was going, hopefully you'll like this chapter as much I do and give me lots of reviews.

BTW the Latin that Hermione uses literally translates into English as Irritation that moves.

Love to you all XX


	9. Tequila

**Staff behaving badly**

I own nothing, anything recognizable obviously doesn't belong to me and I promise to put it back once I've finished playing with it, everything written here is just for fun and not profit, although reviews are always welcomed.

This is set 5 years after the war and Hermione has been teaching transfiguration for the last 3 years and is head of Gryfindor, also on the staff are Harry (Quidditch) Sirius (Charms) and Remus (Dada) and obviously Potions is being taught by Severus.

I would just like to say a special thank you to all those of you who were kind enough to review and to all those of you who have put my story on alert thank you also, but reviews are better.

**Chapter 8.**

Severus was putting the finishing touches to his outfit for Lucius and Narcissa's New years eve party when a song came over the wizarding wireless that made him stop what he was doing and just listen to the words that could have been written just for him.

_She's like the wind through my tree, She rides the night next to me_

_She leads me through the moonlight only to burn me with the sun_

_She's taken my heart, But she doesn't know what she's done_

_Feel her breath on my face, Her body close to me_

_Can't look in her eyes, She's out of my league_

_Just a fool to believe I have anything she needs_

_She's like the wind_

_I look in the mirror and all I see _

_Is a young old man with only a dream _

_Am I just fooling my self that she'd stop the pain_

_Living without her I'd go insane_

_Feel her breath on my face, Her body close to me_

_Can't look in her eyes, She's out of my league_

_Just a fool to believe I have anything she needs_

_She's like the wind_

He waved his wand at the radio and turned it off abruptly he did not need to be reminded about how much of a sap he was for Hermione, it had only been nine days since the Christmas party and it felt like a lifetime since he'd seen her, the way she had felt in his arms that night and that kiss had made him long for more with her but she deserved better than him, she was beautiful, intelligent, sexy, courageous, loyal, generous, loving, witty, vindictive, absolutely downright scary if she really wanted to be and any wizard would be downright lucky to have her.

Severus took a deep breath and pushed all thoughts of her out his head, looking in the mirror he checked his outfit tonight he had decided to wear a deep Grey Armani suit with a black silk shirt open at the collar, he smirked at his reflection he might be the bat of the dungeons but he was the bat of the dungeons with style, now that the war was over he could indulge his inner fashionista, taking a black satin ribbon he tied his shoulder length silky black hair back in a ponytail and satisfied he looked his best he walked over to the fireplace and after tossing in a handful of floo powder he stepped in and called out "Malfoy manor in his low baritone voice.

He walked out of the fireplace into the stylish reception room at Malfoy manor as he looked around he saw his long time friend and fellow spy for the order Lucius talking to the Minister of Magic Kingsley Shacklebolt, when they realized he'd arrived they beckoned him over.

"No ballroom tonight Lucius?" asked Severus

"Unfortunately not as it's been taken over by Draco and his peers, apparently it's his turn to host and I quote "The thank Merlin old Moldybum's dead let's celebrate love, life and loss by getting complete smashed party" they take turns to host it twice a year, so my elegant ballroom has been taken over by a group over twenty odd year olds determined to make their livers give up in one night" Lucius commentated dryly. "Draco did say that if you turned up tonight you were more than welcome to pop in and say hello as he wanted to thank you in person for his Christmas gift, in fact I've just sent Remus and Sirius over there as they were looking for Harry".

Severus decided to leave Lucius and Kingsley talking politics as it wasn't his cup of tea and headed in the direction of the ballroom, even if you'd never been there before all you had to do was follow the loud music that was coming from the double doors down the hall, opening the doors he quickly located Black and Lupin who stood at the bar looking decidedly out of place as they were the only ones over the age of thirty in the room, he made his way over to them and ordered a bottle beer while scanning the room for Draco.

"Hey Severus" the two men greeted him

"Hello, have you seen Draco about? He asked.

Remus pointed over to the little stage next to the DJ booth "There he is with Harry and Hermione I think"

The three men watched as the music was turned down so Draco could speak

The pale blond man placed a Sonarus spell on his throat and addressed the room " Welcome everybody to this years second Thank Merlin old Moldybums dead party now as usual before we start partying hard we (gesturing to Harry and Hermione who were stood either side of him) would like you to raise your glass and spare a thought for those poor unfortunate souls who fell at the wands of Tom Riddle and his followers" he raised his glass and downed the contents in one as if in offering to the dead, the rest of the room followed suit. "Now then you lucky people I give you Miss Grangerous who will tell us who the next lucky host is going to be".

Hermione lowered the hood on her cloak and grinned at the crowd "Hello you depraved party animals who I just love and adore especially Gred and Forge" She blew the twins a kiss "Come on folks lets hear it for our resident DJs the Weasley Twins" the entire room erupted in noise, she put a finger to her lips and immediately it quietened "Excellent fifty points to Hogwarts Alumni, now the next person to host this illustrious and time honored party is... drum roll please boys... Blaize Zabini" again the crowd went wild as Harry and Draco helped the half Italian wizard on to the stage with them.

"I would like to say thank you for the privilege of hosting this event and just that it's going to make this one look like a four year olds tea party, is it just me or has anyone else noticed that our lovely prim and proper transfiguration teacher still has her traveling cloak on," He winked at her before continuing "So Professor Granger which tweed and twin set are you wearing this time?"

She gave him a saucy grin then turned and gave the twins a wink "This next song is for all you lovely ladies" The twins turned up the volume as Shania Twains Man I feel like a woman started playing.

The three men set by the bar were sat open mouthed as Hermione started slowly unbuttoning her cloak in time to the music.

"Now here's a side to Hermione she doesn't let out to play at Hogwarts shame really, because I rather like it" murmured Sirius as she'd undone the last of the buttons.

_Oh, Oh, Oh, I wanna be free... Yeah, to feel the way I feel MAN I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN._

As she sung along to the last bit of that verse Hermione whipped off her cloak to reveal a tight black leather corset, mini skirt with thigh high black leather boots and the crowd went wild as she turned round and she fell backwards into the crowds.

"Fuck me!" Sirius, Remus and Severus said simultaneously as they watched as she fell gracefully off the stage and body surfed the crowd towards the bar.

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed her fellow professors and the luck of pure shock on their faces and grinned, she made her way over to them grabbing a bottle of Tequila, lime wedges , salt shaker and four shot glasses from behind the bar.

"Tequila?" looking at their blank faces she gave a mock sigh "Don't tell me that you oh so worldly wizards are complete Tequila virgins" she winked at them "Never mind I shall be glad to initiate into the delights of Tequila, now just watch me I'll do a shot so you know how it's done and then we'll do it together" she smirked at their faces she knew exactly what her words were doing to all three men, Hermione's wild side didn't get let out to play very often but when it did there was no stopping it.

"Okay now watch carefully boys, first we lick the skin between your thumb and forefinger" she maintained eye contact with Sirius as she did this giving him a slow sultry wink "next we sprinkle a bit of salt on the spot we've just licked, taking a wedge of lime in the hand with the salt on you pick up your glass in the other" she raised her glass her to them "Bottoms up" she licked the salt on her hand then knocked back the shot, after slamming the glass on the bar she quickly sucked on her wedge of lime before placing it sucked dry on a napkin

Remus, Sirius and Severs exchanged looks this Hermione Granger was a totally different creature to the one they either knew as she was growing up or the colleague they teased, laughed and mainly in Severus's case fought with on a regular basis and it scared the hell out of them as well arousing them.

"What's the matter boys, Chicken?" she asked pouring herself another shot and holding the bottle over the other three glasses.

"Pour the damn drink Hermione, I'm sure we can handle what ever you're drinking" Severus hated being called chicken almost as much as being called a coward.

She raised an eyebrow in challenge to his statement but said nothing as she poured three more shots

"Okay remember it's lick, salt, lick, swallow and suck," raising her glass and silently toasting them she quickly downed her shot again and waited for their reactions with a smirk.

"Bloody hell Hermione how do you drink this stuff it's vile?" asked a gasping Severus.

She gave him a lascivious smile "The same way I do with anything that "comes" in contact with my mouth" she glanced at him from under her long black eyelashes and licked her cherry red lips "I suck and swallow, after all a lady never spits." she looked across the dance floor and saw Blaize waving at her and miming Tequila shots "If you gentlemen would excuse me for a little while it seems our Italian friend would like some Tequila" she picked up the bottle, salt and limes and walked back across the dance floor her hips swaying in time to the music, halfway across she turned and saw that they were still watching her,they hadn't even realized that Harry and Draco were trying to get their attention "Men were just too easy sometimes" she thought and just blew them a kiss before turning her attentions on the handsome Italian.

Draco and Harry were rather amused by the reaction Hermione had invoked in the older wizards, what they weren't expecting was for Severus to turn back round on them suddenly and threaten them with his wand.

"What the bloody hell has happened to Hermione?, she's turned into siren or something, what have you given her!" he demanded to know.

"Back off Severus" warned Harry who'd also pulled his wand out "Don't think I won't defend my best friend because I will kill for her if necessary" he growled.

Draco put his hand on Harry's wand, gave him a soft look then turned to his godfather "Uncle Severus please, lower your wand and we'll tell you everything if you promise to listen." Satisfied that there was going to be no bloodshed just yet he let out a small breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding, "There is absolutely nothing wrong with Mia you idiots she's cutting loose, having fun" he glanced over to where Hermione and Blaize were doing shots off each other, "In fact I go so far as to say she's probably going to have a lot more fun later."

Harry ran his fingers through his naturally messy black hair, "Look my generation progressively spent our entire school years either under threat or involved in a bloody war that by rights should have been handled by grown ups, but no because of a meddlesome ministry, a bumbling old fool and a psychopath the war was our playground, the threat of death and destruction was our playmate I ask you what happened when the war ended did the child soldiers revert back to the innocents they should have been, of course not! They were told to suck it up and be adults so we became the adults we were asked to become without complaint but there comes a time when we say go and shove your rules because we are doing what we want for a change, so now twice a year we forget our problems, our petty worries, our responsibilities and we let our hair hang down, dance, drink, laugh as if there's no tomorrow." The only reason he hadn't left was because Draco had grabbed hold of his hand and interlocked their fingers.

Severus looked slightly ashamed of his outburst "Harry I'm sorry, I meant no offense to any of you I will see you at school in a few days, Draco I will fire call you tomorrow, Remus, Sirius enjoy the rest of your evening" he nodded his head at them then turned to leave the ballroom.

Hermione had been watching the entire conversation and thanks to Fred and George's new invention wireless extendable ears she heard everything that had been said, she smirked so he thought she was like a siren tonight well she was going play him a song he wouldn't forget in a hurry, she slipped pass Blaize who was dancing on a nearby table and out a side door hopefully she would intercept Severus on the way to the fireplace in the hall.

She dimmed the lights knowing that her outfit would help her blend into the shadows she was on the hunt and the potions master was her prey, as she waited in the semi darkness she felt his almost silent approach and grinned.

As he passed, her hand snaked out and pulled him into the recess under the stairs she wordlessly cast a muffilato on the alcove and a silencing spell on Severus himself before quickly pulling his head down to hers for a deep and thorough kiss.

Severus had been deep in his own thoughts when he'd been yanked into a alcove under the stairs, he knew it was Hermione from the moment she'd touched him, before he could open his mouth to speak she'd cast a wordless silencing spell on him before pulling his head down and thoroughly kissing him.

He was absolutely shocked this had never happened to him before, he felt one hand loosen his belt as the other ran down his back and over his bum, she slowly began pulling away from him and instinctively he lent in. then he heard her soft seductive tones whisper in his ear.

"Severus is that your wand in your pocket or are you pleased to see me?" she let her hands slide down his right arm feeling for the wand concealed there, her amber eyes were almost cat like in their appearance as soon as her fingers felt the thin stick, her smile became predatory as she captured his lips again.

He couldn't believe that Hermione was being so forward as she slowly slithered down his body till her face was level with Snape Junior, she undid his trousers and ever so gently pulled them and his silk boxers down his legs. As all blood rushed from one head to the other he knew he should at least make a gesture of asking her to stop, even if he really didn't want her to.

"Ssh relax, I promise I won't bite unless you want me to" she winked at him.

Severus let out a silent groan as her hot wet mouth slid up and down his hard shaft, one hand massaging his balls the other stoking his thighs and arse, he couldn't help but wrap her long ponytail around his hand to increase her speed, sweet Goddess help him she actually groaned in pleasure, the noise reverberating down his cock up, his spine straight to his pleasure center in his brain, he knew he was going to come and apparently so did she as she sucked harder and faster.

She knew he was just about to come and her inner devil did a happy dance, she continued to suck and soon enough he shot into her mouth "Not that bad a taste, I could get used to this" she thought, she swallowed the remains in her mouth before standing up and looking him directly in his eyes,

"Happy New Year Severus, I hope this year brings you all your heart's desires." she said softly before kissing him on the cheek, then turning and walking away from him to join Harry and Draco who were watching the fireworks outside.

Severus pulled his pants up and tried to catch his breath, "Damn that witch was going to be the death of him," his mind thought but not in his wildest fantasy had her mouth been that talented, if there was one thing he was sure of apart from the fact that his students were complete idiots it was that Hermione Granger would be entirely his by the end of the school year.

He removed the silencing ward and tried to walk towards the fireplace as if he hadn't just been given the best blow job of his life, hopefully he wouldn't bump into anyone.

"Happy New Year old friend" said Lucius patting him amiably on his back "Are you okay you look a bit flushed?

"Happy New Year Lucius, I'm fine.. just a bit tired I think so I'm just going to head off early, give my love and apologies to Cissy for me please" with Lucius's agreement and best wishes for the new year Severus was finally flooed back to his rooms and immediately wondered how in the world he was going make Hermione his.

_Okay my lovely readers, this chapter completely ran away with me I hadn't planned on Hermione seducing Severus but she demanded it at wand point. LOL_

_If you have any questions about any thing in this chapter please send me a message or leave it in a review and I will answer._

_I hope you like it, please review it stops me from going insane and shouting at my in box "Love me!"_


	10. Jealousy

**Staff behaving badly**

I own nothing, anything recognizable obviously doesn't belong to me and I promise to put it back once I've finished playing with it, everything written here is just for fun and not profit, although reviews are always welcomed.

This is set 5 years after the war and Hermione has been teaching transfiguration for the last 3 years and is head of Gryfindor, also on the staff are Harry (Quidditch) Sirius (Charms) and Remus (Dada) and obviously Potions is being taught by Severus.

I would just like to say a special thank you to all those of you who were kind enough to review and to all those of you who have put my story on alert thank you also, but reviews are better.

**Chapter 9.**

_**Polite Notice.**_

_This months staff fun night will take place at the Hogshead pub in Hogsmeade village on Saturday 19th of January starting at 8pm, patrolling will be done by the head boy and girl along with the prefects they will be overseen by myself and the deputy. The staffroom fireplace will be linked by floo to Aberforths personal fire for the duration of the night._

_Minerva Mcgonagal_

_Headmistress_

Hermione pulled a hooded jumper on over her skinny t-shirt and zipped up her knee high boots before yelling at Harry to hurry up.

"For the love of Merlin woman! Be patient, Aberforths not going to run out of beer" he replied coming out of his room fastening the belt on his jeans.

She shot him a look that told him that if he didn't get a move on sharpish he would seriously regret it.

"So Mia, when are you going to finish seducing Hogwarts resident bat?" Harry asked changing the subject.

"It's up to him now to make the next move, I'm going to let him have his space so he can work out if I'm actually what he wants, besides who knows what's going to happen tonight so come on lets get there before they send a search party for us."

She grabbed his arm and set off to meet the others at the pub, as they enter the staffroom they noticed that Poppy was sat by the fire chatting to Pomona.

"Hi Poppy, Pomona how come you're not at the pub with everyone else?" inquired Harry.

Poppy grinned "The Thompson twins have been hexing each other again, Martha has pustules in a very tender place and Charlotte got hit with a hair growth spell, from what I've heard on the grapevine a few of the students have taken to calling her cousin It."

Harry and Hermione laughed, the sibling rivalry between the two girls was legendary but only they were allowed to hex each other, heaven help the student caught picking on one of the twins because hell hath no fury than a Thompson twin bent on revenge. They said their goodbyes and flooed through to the Hogshead where Aberforth was waiting for them.

"Hey Abe, how's business?" asked Harry while Hermione was giving the old barman a hug.

"Good thanks Harry, if you want to go through Sirius has already got the drinks in, in your corner there's a pool table and a dart board as per Minnie's instructions."

Hermione loved playing pool and darts because it reminded her of Sunday afternoons with her granddad down his local pub.

The two friends walked into the main bar area where they saw that the back wall had been taken over by the staff of Hogwarts, Hermione headed over to where Aurora and Imogen were setting up a game.

"Hey Hermione, do you fancy a game of doubles, you and Harry against us?" asked Imogen chalking her cue.

"Sure why not, hang on let me just grab the Boy wonder, he went to get our drinks from Sirius"she made her way over to where Harry was busy talking to Sirius.

"Hey foxy lady, I had to get you a bottle of beer as old Abes didn't have ant Tequila in stock" smirked Sirius "Although I must admit it came as a bit of a shock to find out that our resident bookworm was such a vixen, you dark horse you".

She gave a huge grin and reached over and pinched his cheek playfully "Sirius you should know by now that a girls got to have some secrets, besides if you knew half of the things I've done, you'd be pretty shocked".

It was Remus who laughed at her this time "Come off it Hermione we're Marauders, there's nothing you could do or say that could shock us".

Harry grabbed his beer took a mouthful and said nonchalantly "Oh I don't know about that Mooney Mia's quite a man eater when she wants to be. What about you Severus, do you think Hermione is a closet man eater?"

Hermione elbowed him in the stomach "Severus you don't have to answer that inane question, Harry get over to that pool table now!" she really glared at Harry who just blew her a kiss.

"It's okay Hermione" replied Severus in his smooth silky voice "I'm positive you have many hidden skills that coincide with the ones we already know about, which include your oral talents." Hermione blushed while Harry choked on his beer, Severus smirked "I'm sorry slight slip of the tongue there, I meant of course your orating abilities."

Sirius and Remus exchanged looks completely baffled by the exchange going on at their table.

Hermione simply arched an elegant eyebrow and said tartly "Thank you all for your thoughts on my abilities but if you'll excuse us we have a game of pool waiting for us" grabbing Harry forcibly by the arm she dragged him off to where Aurora and Imogen were waiting.

"Okay Snape spill it!"said Remus and Sirius together.

"I have absolutely no idea what you mean" he answered slyly his eyes never leaving Hermiones pert bottom as she lent over the pool table to take a shot.

"Bollocks you don't, tell us what's going on or I'm going to charm your arse to that chair and call Sybil over to be your special companion for the rest of this evening" warned Sirius.

Severus shuddered at the thought of spending the night with the divination teacher and sighed "Fine but you have to give me your word as Marauders that this goes no further than us" when both men agreed, he quickly cast both muffilato and a privacy spell for added security measures before continuing.

"Okay you remember on New Years eve I happened to leave the party early" the two men nodded "Well on my way to the floo I was dragged into an alcove and given the best God damned blow job of my life, when she'd finished she wished me a Happy New year, kissed me on the cheek and then disappeared into the night. Now would either of you want to hazard a guess at who my mystery assailant was?"

As comprehension dawned, the silence at the table grew before Remus inquired "Well what happened next? are you two a couple?".

"Mooney my old friend I wish I knew, after she left I went straight home and many hours of thought I decided to let her come to me because I didn't know if the alcohol had clouded her judgment or if she'd even remember. I figured that if she wanted more from me she'd let me know with her typical Gryfindor bravado, but instead we've been back at school for nearly three weeks now and that comment from Harry is the first mention of New Years eve I've heard." He put his head in his hands " "I'm such a mess, I don't know what to do".

Sirius slapped his back sympathetically while Remus got another round of drinks in, when he returned he gave them a wolfish smile "Okay Bats, it's time to get your head out of your arse and think about this logically from Hermione's point of view.

Severus looked confused so Remus continued "Answer me this, other than Gryfindor which of the other houses could Hermione of been sorted into?".

"Ravenclaw obviously" piped up Sirius.

"Well yes that does seem like the obvious choice Pads, but think about it if she had been born pure blood or even half blood which house do you think she could have been admitted to." the shocked look on his friends faces made Remus grin even more. "Exactly, over the years I've seen Hermione exhibit equal parts of Slytherin cunning, Gryfindor bravery and Ravenclaw intelligence."

Severus scowled at him "Get to the point man! You're waffling like a girl."

Remus just rolled his eyes "Fine if you're such a dunderhead, I will explain it so even Sirius can understand" ignoring Sirius's look of outrage he continued "Hermione has shown her Gryfindor side by initiating the first proper move between you, so now she's resorted to her Slytherin side by waiting to see what your response is before doing anything else."

Severus thought about this for a minute and then replied "Thats all well and good but I still don't know how she feels about me."

Remus sighed "Here's a novel idea, talk to her or failing that talk to Harry."

Severus pulled a face and shuddered "That's so Gryfindorish, Sirius I hate to say this but I need your opinion."

Sirius was looking over at the bar as he answered "Well actually the answer to your little problem has just walked through the door." Remus and Severus turned to look in the direction of his gaze. "Isn't that an old flame of yours? Melinda or Melissa" he asked of the buxom blond who was stood at the bar with her friends.

"Melody actually, but I don't see what she has to do with my current dilemma" Severus replied.

"Oh that's easy, we invite Melody and her friends over to join us, you play catch up with Melody indulge in a little light flirting we'll watch Hermione's reaction if she gets jealous, you know she likes you, if she doesn't you carry on with Melody and still have fun. Everyones a winner besides that brunette with her is rather tasty" Sirius looked at his companions "Well are we doing this or do I have to pull on my own?"

Severus looked a little unsure but agreed any way, Remus on the other hand knew it was bad idea and told them so "This is going to end badly, I really think my way is better but if you're going to do this I'd better tag along just to make someone doesn't get hurt"

"Mooney you worry like an old woman, live a little. Bats you go and get the drinks in and while you're there invite them over to join us and then operation GREEN EYES shall begin" Sirius finished his drink and pushed Severus towards the bar.

The high pitched laughter was starting to get on her nerves she looked up after her shot to see where it was coming from when she noticed the bleach blond Barbie with enormous breasts at the bar.

"Who thought it'd be a good idea to animate a blow up doll?" she asked Aurora and Imogen.

"Well Severus seems to be a fan" snickered Imogen

Hermione looked up to see the blond and her friends following Severus back to his table, she noticed that the bimbo was piratically sat in his lap and frowned.

Aurora glanced over and scowled " I knew I recognized her, that's Melody Wickham she an absolute tart and an old flame of Sev's".

Harry watched as Hermione tried to make her facial expressions neutral as she asked how ago they were together.

Imogen was a right little fountain of knowledge giving Hermione all the juicy gossip she knew about Melody and Severus "Actually I think that they called it off just after you and Harry started working here, obviously it was amicable looking at how close they are now."

Hermione quickly turned round to see Severus push some hair back off Melody's face and then whisper something in her ear which set of that irritating laugh of hers, she felt Harry put his arm round her, he was saying something but she couldn't work out what all of her focus was on Severus and the bimbo with him

Harry was getting concerned for his friend because she'd unconsciously transfigured her pool cue into a rounders bat, at least he hoped it was unconsciously because an enraged Hermione was a scary Hermione. He took swift action by removing the cue/bat from her hands and gave her a little shake "Mia snap out of it!" he whispered in her ear, suddenly he heard her sniff and looking at her he saw that she was heart broken.

"You're fucking kidding me, stupid bastard" he muttered under his breath as he saw the blond haired woman run her thumb over Severus's mouth wiping away the stain of her lipstick.

"It's okay sweetie we can do this,lets make our apologies and leave before you do something we both regret" Hermione nodded.

Harry faked a couple of yawns before asking if they could postpone the game another time because he was absolutely knackered.

"Of course Harry you'd better hurry to bed you could get a hippogriff in there" joked Imogen as Harry faked another yawn.

Hermione just waved goodbye to the two women not trusting her own voice at the moment, she lent into Harry as he wrapped an arm round her, "Why Harry?" she whispered.

"I don't know my love, but I promise I'll find out even if I have to crack a few skulls to find out" just before he flooed back to Hogwarts Harry vanished the table legs nearest Severus and chuckled as both him and the bimbo got soaked in drinks.

A/N: I'm sorry please don't hate me, *hides behind the sofa to avoid the howlers being sent *. Men are stupid when it comes to womens feeling I promise they will end up together eventually.

If you have any questions about this chapter please pm me and I'll reply.

Please review it makes my day so much brighter. And lots of love to all those of you wonderful readers who have already taken the time to review the ramblings of my poor deluded mind. XX


	11. Tattoos

**Staff behaving badly**

I own nothing, anything recognizable obviously doesn't belong to me and I promise to put it back once I've finished playing with it, everything written here is just for fun and not profit, although reviews are always welcomed.

This is set 5 years after the war and Hermione has been teaching transfiguration for the last 3 years and is head of Gryfindor, also on the staff are Harry (Quidditch) Sirius (Charms) and Remus (Dada) and obviously Potions is being taught by Severus.

I would just like to say a special thank you to all those of you who were kind enough to review and to all those of you who have put my story on alert thank you also, but reviews are better.

**Chapter 10.**

The next day Hermione was sparring with Harry in the room of requirement trying to blow off the raging inferno of anger that was brewing inside her.

"Fucking slimy two faced bastard" she shouted hurling a cutting hex Harry's way, luckily he managed to deflect it in time.

"Mia love it might have been blown out of proportion for all we know she could of kissed him" sending a tickling spell back.

"That's not the point! I had the man's dick in my mouth, he avoids me for nearly three weeks and then flirts and snogs his fucking ex in front of me, the mans going down I swear I going to turn him into a slug so I can see how he slimes his way out of this one" she ducked a jelly legs jinx "For goodness sake Harry will you give me a proper workout, how am I supposed to stay angry if you're sending light spells my way".

"I see you've figured out my devious plan O mighty warrior queen, I have no desire to be disemboweled today" Harry grinned knowing that the worst was over now.

Hermione gave him a small smile back "Oh Harry what am I going to do? I really want to hex his balls off but I don't have the right it's not like we were a couple or anything" she groaned and ran her hands through her hair "I sound like a right psychopath don't I?."

Harry gave a great big bear hug "Just a little my love, but hey you know I love you no matter how scary you get" she poked him in the ribs and chuckled. "Hey! That was uncalled for you cheeky witch, now lets get you back to our rooms so you can repair those poor cushions you attacked last night and I will go and see my notorious godfather because I've a funny feeling that he is somehow responsible for last night".

As they walked back to their rooms the castle was surprisingly busy for eight o clock on a Sunday morning,Hermione was puzzled by this until she remember that Slytherin/Gryfindor quidditch match had an early start due to the bad weather forecast for later that day.

When they reach the Unicorn painting that guarded their room (the password being Tom Cruise) Harry told Hermione to go and rest while he found what really happened last night.

As he arrived at rooms occupied by Sirius and Remus he almost bumped into Remus who was on his way out.

"Hi Remus. Just the person I wanted to see, well one of them anyway"

"Sorry Harry can't stop just a message from Minnie apparently she has something so urgent it can't wait until after breakfast, besides if you're here for the reason I think you're better off talking to the bone heads in there" he opened the portrait of a couple of mermaids sunbathing on some rocks. "You're going to have to wake them, we didn't get in till gone three."

Harry shook his head "Another of Aberforth's infamous lock ins?."

Remus looked a little bit ashamed " Not exactly, we ended up going back to Ilsa's for a little party."

"Please tell me that Ilsa's not one of the blond bimbos friends Remus?"

"Look I'm sorry Harry I really have to go but I tell you every thing when I get back, I promise" Remus sped off to the headmistress's office feeling more than a little bit ashamed of his actions or lack of them the night before.

As he entered the darkened room he noticed that the two men were fast asleep at opposite ends of the enlarged leather sofa and Harry grinned evilly, quickly locating Remus's magical camera which took instant photos a bit like a muggle Polaroid he levitated Sirius and put him at the other end so it looked Severus was spooning him, taking a picture he decided that he'd better take another just to be on the safe side. "What would the twins do if they were here?" he thought and then it hit him like a thunderbolt "Revenge is sweet" his inner demon cackled.

Grabbing their wands he popped them in a draw which he charmed against them, then he waved his wand over the sleeping men vanishing their outer clothes leaving them in just their boxers or in Sirius's case a posing pouch, Harry shuddered as both men had morning wood, great for the picture but not something he really wanted to see ever again. He gave them both matching tattoos which said I HEART SS on Sirius's arm and I HEART SB on Severus's, as he was doing this the two men had snuggled even closer together, Harry quickly took a snapshot and proceeded to tip a jugful of cold water over them, taking one last photo of them wet and outraged, he quickly shoved the three pictures in his pockets to amuse Hermione later and waited for the up roar to calm down before he unleashed his temper.

Harry quickly cast a semi permanent sticking charm to the sofa before taking the chair opposite to them "First of all I am not leaving this room till I get some answers, Secondly neither of you are leaving this room or that sofa till I get some answers, Thirdly your wands will be given back to you when I'm finished, Fourthly and this applies mainly to you Severus any wandless or wordless magic will result in those tattoos becoming permanent. They looked down in horror at the matching designs and finally you really don't want to piss me off any more than I already am because I have photographic evidence of your little love fest five minutes ago, now any questions?"

"What on earth do you think you are doing Potter?" asked Severus in a dangerously quiet voice.

Green eyes flashed angrily at the narrowed obsidian ones "Well funny you should ask that Snape you took the words right out of my mouth"

"Harry mate come on, let an old wizard up I really need to take a slash" said Sirius

"I've told you both already nobody is going anywhere till I find out why you thought it would be okay to embarrass Hermione last night with that cheap fucking bimbo that was all over you like a rash Severus" Harry said through gritted teeth.

Last nights actions came back and hit Severus with a healthy dose of reality and he groaned "Why the fuck did I listen to you?" he asked Sirius.

Sirius shrugged "It sounded better than Remus's idea".

Harry was confused "Look why don't you tell me everything which led to last night complete fuck up on your parts."

Severus sighed "Okay, Last night I told Sirius and Remus about what happened New Years eve, I'm sure you're already know the facts, and I've been unsure of how to find out Hermione's true feelings as she's been avoiding me".

"She's not been avoiding you, she's been waiting for you to go and talk to her, seeing as she made the first move she wanted you to meet her half way, you dumb fuck" he said quietly

"Told you so" butted in Remus as he came through into the lounge.

Harry pinched the skin at the top of his nose, this was starting to give him a headache "Continue"

"Remus pretty much told me to go and talk to her or to you but Sirius told me that the quickest way to find if Hermione likes me is to see if she gets jealous if I flirt with another witch, as the fates would have an old flame of mine happened to be in the pub and it just seemed like the easiest thing to do". Severus scowled at Harry who was rolling on the floor with laughter "Why are you laughing? There is nothing remotely funny about this situation".

"You... took...dating...advice...from...Pads?," gasped Harry trying to catch his breath from laughing too much. "Hell, even Ron doesn't take dating advice from Sirius, the man's great for advice if you want a quick lay but relationships? I don't think he actually knows that word exists!"

"Hey I'm right here you know" Sirius said looking affronted.

"So Hermione is upset?" asked Severus already knowing the answer.

"Look if I were you I'd be glad it's me here and not her, otherwise I don't think either of you would have anything left of your favorite appendages, quite frankly the only reason I'm here is because Hermione is my family and I will do anything in my power to protect her. But last night was just sheer idiocy so I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. However I do not want whatever you lot got up to last night with the bimbo and her friends being spread round the castle?" Harry spoke directly to Sirius as he said this who muttering something to Severus about flexibility

in witches.

His green eyes flashed a warning to his godfather "As a extra precaution those tattoos will stop there until I remove them. Severus as to how you make things right with my girl only you will be able to do that, however I will tell her exactly what you told me, if anything the fact you took dating advice from Sirius will cheer her up no end." He ran his hands through his already messy hair.

"Harry will she ever forgive me?" Severus asked hopefully.

"To be perfectly honest Severus that's up to Hermione, but to coin a phrase "Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned" and Hermione's no exception to that rule, but once she calms down and sees things rationally again who knows. Now I will release you both and leave you two love birds to get ready while I walk and talk with Remus about his early morning visit to Minnie on the way to breakfast."

Sirius growled "You'd better sleep with one eye open Harry because there will be pay back for this."

Harry chuckled "From you old man? I think not because you forget two things, Firstly I have evidence of you snuggled up to Severus in your lovely red silk posing pouch" he showed them to Remus who let out a loud guffaw "And secondly nothing is going to remove that tattoo unless I allow it, you can't even cover it with a glamor or bandage".

Remus was trying to hold in a laugh "You've got to hand it to him Pads that prank is definitely Marauder material, Harry shall we head to breakfast?"

"Certainly, see you later guys" Harry and Remus strolled out of the rooms leaving the two men to their thoughts.

"You know Remus, Lady luck smiled on you today by having Minnie summon you.

"How do you work that one out Harry?" asked Remus

Harry grinned at his longtime friend "Easy you'd have got a matching tattoo, now tell me what did Minnie the minx what at this time in the morning?"

"You're not going to believe this, however our minstery is currently entertaining an American ambassador for their Vampire community, and Kingsley in his wisdom has decided to send him up here so he can tell our lovely young students all out life without a secrecy act hanging over them and how Vampire regions and their hierarchy work. He will be here later tonight to be introduced to the rest of the castle, and as I'm the DADA teacher I'm the one to look after him" he said in a weary voice.

They had arrived at the bottom of the great stairs, and Harry told Remus that he'd better go and get Hermione otherwise he'd be in the dog house as well, the two men said their good byes and went off in opposite directions.

A/N: Okay my lovely readers, I hope this appeases your thirst for blood.

There's free cyber cookies and chocolate for those of you who work out who our mystery Vampire is.

As I've told my lovely reviewers there is a happy ending for our favorite couple even if we can't see it yet for the bumps and turns on life's eternal road.

BTW, Harry wanted me to tell you that those photos were worth the mental anguish of seeing Sirius in a posing pouch.

Love to you all, and please review because they make me happy. *smiles sweetly * XX


	12. The Northman cometh

**Staff behaving badly**

I own nothing, anything recognizable obviously doesn't belong to me and I promise to put it back once I've finished playing with it, everything written here is just for fun and not profit, although reviews are always welcomed.

This is set 5 years after the war and Hermione has been teaching transfiguration for the last 3 years and is head of Gryfindor, also on the staff are Harry (Quidditch) Sirius (Charms) and Remus (Dada) and obviously Potions is being taught by Severus.

I would just like to say a special thank you to all those of you who were kind enough to review and to all those of you who have put my story on alert thank you also, but reviews are better.

Sorry I've taken forever updating, but this chapter was originally a flash back scene that I needed but I just couldn't get it to work properly so it is now a chapter in it's own right.

**Chapter 11.**

_The staffroom._

Severus was sat in his usual seat by the fire with Sirius next to him, the entire entourage of staff at Hogwarts were waiting in the staffroom for Minerva and Remus to show up with a Vampire who was an ambassador for the American Magical Ministry.

He was covertly watching the witch opposite him who was curled up on the window seat with a book open on her lap while she chatted quietly with Harry who was sat next to her, Severus's fingers ached to tuck a curl which had escaped from her ponytail back behind her ear in the end that honour went to Harry who was rewarded with a small smile.

The Staffroom door opened interrupting his thought as Minerva, Remus and a tall blond man walked in.

"If I could have your attention please" Minerva spoke to the room "I would like to introduce to Mr Eric Northman, he will be visiting us for a couple of weeks as a guest of the minister I expect him to be treated with the utmost respect, as befits a guest of Hogwarts."

"Excuse me Headmistress, is it wise having a Vampire in the castle with the children?" asked Poppy.

Minerva looked annoyed "Poppy both the minister and Mr Northman have given their words that the children are safe, I will leave Mr Northman to answer any questions you have as I have a mountain of paperwork calling me."

Severus watched as the rather stressed headteacher swept from the room leaving Remus and a amused Vampire to face the music.

Remus led Mr Northman around the room introducing him to the staff.

"Hello I'm pleased to be here, I have heard much about this wonderful teaching establishment and it's staff" Eric made his way over to Poppy, taking hold of one of her hands he bowed and kissed it and said "Poppy I can assure you that your charges are perfectly safe with me, a beautiful woman as yourself must be careful in case I lose my senses and set out to seduce you"

Severus was slightly nauseated as Poppy blushed like a virginal schoolgirl at the insincere trash being spewed out by the vampire, he held his breath as Remus and the vampire reached Hermione and Harry unsure how Hermione was going to react to this obviously alpha male vampire.

Eric turned to Remus and said "It's okay Mr Lupin there's no need for introduction I've heard much about the Golden Trio and as I've already met Mr Weasley at a ministry function it stands to reason that these two must be the other two thirds, Saviours of the Wizarding world."

The Staffroom went quiet as everybody there knew that Harry and Hermione hated being called the Golden Trio or similar, Severus was transfixed as his witch exchanged a look with Harry, slowly closed her book and fixed the Vampire with a stare.

"I am Professor Granger and this is my very good friend and colleague Professor Potter" she waved her hand towards Harry, "We do not answer to idiotic names enforced on us by the press, I'm sure you can understand that you Parasitic Leech."

Severus hid a smirk as Hermione went toe to toe with the vamp, everybody else in the room except Harry and Hermione seemed to hold their breaths unsure of the Vamps reaction, Severus reached into the vampires mind to see what he was feeling, reading amusement and lust due to the fact that she smelt delicious he withdrew and waited to see what would happen next.

Eric burst out laughing "Well met professor forgive me, allow me to introduce myself properly I am Eric Northman, ambassador for America and sheriff of Area five"

Hermione interrupted "Also owner of Fangtasia a nightclub for Vamps, Fangbangers and tourists run when you're not there by your child and second in command Pam, you also have numerous other businesses which I shall not bother to mention" She blatantly looked him up and down, when her eyes met his she gave him a wink.

"You also have a reputation for being quite a Lover but then being over a thousand years old, Viking I'd expect it".

Eric smiled at her with a little bit of fang showing "You're surprisingly well informed witch, how?"

She smirked and her eyes caught Severus's briefly before she looked back at the handsome blonde Vampire in front of her "Well when another of your nicknames is an Insufferable know it all, you'd be well informed too."

The staff let out it's collective breath as the Vampire chuckled "Please call me Eric, I hope we cross paths soon Professor it's been delightful talking with you in fact it's a shame my child Pam can't be here as I know that the two of you would get along famously."

Hermione smiled back and offered her hand out "It's Hermione and I would love to chat with you again perhaps over a coffee or a True blood in your case and perhaps discuss Nordic runes it's a hobby of mine you see."

"I would be delighted ..Hermione, tomorrow evening perhaps? after the school assembly I think it is"

When she nodded in agreement Eric turned to Harry and began talking to him, Hermione just grinned at Remus and raised an eyebrow at him as he shook his head in disbelief at her actions.

Suddenly Minerva stuck her head in the fireplace and asked Remus if he could bring Eric back to her office as some forms had just arrived that he needed to sign.

Eric said goodbye and promised to tell every body more about his visit at the school assembly that was being held tomorrow evening, Remus showed him how the floo worked and they both exited the room.

As soon as they'd left the staffroom was in uproar, Severus walked up to Hermione, he grabbed her arm and turned her so she was facing him.

"Do you have a bloody death wish? Not only did you goad the bloody Vampire, you flirted with him as well!" He snarled at her.

Hermione was surprised at how angry he was, but didn't back down "That's rich coming from you didn't you spend the most of last night with your tongue down some bimbos throat?"

Severus paled at the insult "Melody is not a bimbo she is an old friend who I haven't seen in years, that's besides the point at least Melody isn't going to rip my throat out and drink me dry given half a chance, unlike the bloodsucker. You're not to be alone with him Hermione."

Hermione glared at him "Who. Do. You. Think. You. Are?" poking him in the chest with every word "What right do you have to tell me who I can and can't be alone with? Did you tattoo Property of Severus Snape on me when I wasn't looking?...No? Then go and screw your animated blow up bimbo and leave me the Fuck alone!" She yanked her arm out of his grasp and stalked out of the staffroom leaving a stunned Potions master in her wake.

Severus quickly came to his senses and walked out of the staffroom slamming the door behind him, luckily for both Severus and Hermione the rest of the staff had missed the entire conversation as both Harry and Sirius had cast muffling charms on the warring pair.

Sirius looked at his Godson and sighed "Well come on I suppose it's up to us to go and calm the waters"

"I'd leave the calming to Remus if I was you Pads, look what happened the last time you gave Severus advice" replied Harry smirking at the older man.

Sirius rolled his eyes and followed Harry out of the staffroom, unaware that as soon as they'd left the Hogwarts gossip machine started up about the entire evenings events including the obvious argument between Hermione and Severus even if they didn't hear what was being said.

_Okay my lovely readers I hope you like it. Xx_

_Please tell me what you think in a up coming chapter one of the fun nights will be a sports event I can't decide whether they should play quidditch or a muggle game e.g rounders, cricket._


	13. Evening post

**Staff behaving badly**

I own nothing, anything recognizable obviously doesn't belong to me and I promise to put it back once I've finished playing with it, everything written here is just for fun and not profit, although reviews are always welcomed.

This is set 5 years after the war and Hermione has been teaching transfiguration for the last 3 years and is head of Gryfindor, also on the staff are Harry (Quidditch) Sirius (Charms) and Remus (Dada) and obviously Potions is being taught by Severus.

I would just like to say a special thank you to all those of you who were kind enough to review and to all those of you who have put my story on alert thank you also, but reviews are better.

Wow! Fifty four reviews I love you guys. Xx

**Chapter 12.**

_**Polite Notice.**_

_This months staff fun night will take place on Valentines night starting at 8pm, and as such the staffroom shall be transformed to look like Madame Puddifoots tea shop creating a friendly and relaxed atmosphere._

_Minerva Mcgonagal_

_Headmistress_

Hermione was sat with the other teachers in the great hall having dinner when a ministry owl landed in front of her, wondering who would be sending her a letter from the ministry she took the letter and gave the young tawny owl the last of her roll before it flew off.

Turning the letter over she frowned at the unknown seal it looked like a rune but she couldn't translate it and then she realised it was an E and N overlapping, she smiled it was from Eric Northman the delicious blond vampire who she'd become good friends with during his brief stay at the castle, he'd left to go back to the ministry a week ago and surprisingly she'd found that she missed talking with him, he had a dark twisted sense of humour that appealed to her own.

In fact if she wasn't so in love with the bat of the dungeons she would of definitely let Eric succeed in seducing her, she smirked at her inner dialogue who was she kidding, she wouldn't of needed seducing to say she was going through a dry spell would be like saying the Sahara is a little bit sandy.

She felt someone poking her in her side.

"Earth to Hermione, unless you've developed x-ray vision you have to actually open the letter to find out the contents."

"Sorry Harry, I was just lost in my thoughts" She opened the thick cream paper and started to read, it's contents bringing a smile to her lips.

"Headmistress is it possible to have a quick word with you after dinner?" she asked Minerva who was sat a few seats down.

"Of course my dear, just knock on my door whenever you're ready" the headmistress replied.

About thirty minutes later Hermione was stood in front of the stone gargoyles that guard the headmistress's office.

"Jennyanydots" grinning at the password she made her way up the staircase and knocked on the heavy wooden door.

"Enter" came the reply in the headmistress's soft Scottish accent.

"Minerva I've got to say that I love this months password."

"Thank you Hermione, musicals are one of my favourite pastimes and this one is one of my favourites. Now my dear what can I do for you?"

Hermione cleared her throat, "I was wondering if I could miss this months staff fun night as I've been invited for a meal by Eric Northman as he's leaving for America on the 15th, and valentines night is the only night he has free."

"A meal on valentines night, how romantic!"

"Oh no it's nothing like that, just a farewell meal between friends" Hermione hastened to add.

"Very well Hermione you may have the fun night off"

"Thank you Minerva"

Minerva continued "However I would like to know what has happened since Christmas to your relationship with Severus?"

Hermione blanched "I don't know what you've heard Minerva but I'm definitely not seeing Severus"

The headmistress gave her a knowing smile "I never said you were my dear, I was referring to the fact that before we broke up for the holidays you seemed to be getting on quite amicably and since last months fun night at the hogs head you've both been at each others throats more than ever."

"It was just a slight misunderstanding on my part and a complete over reaction on his, the man's an insufferable, overprotecting, arrogant male."

"Quite, there's a fine line between love and hate my dear. Now for my sake and the sanity of the rest of the staff, play nicely with Severus" Minerva gave her a piercing look and stood up indicating that their little chat was over.

Hermione was just leaving when she heard Dumbledore's portrait call her name.

"Yes Albus?" she said turning her head to look at the painting.

"Sometimes it's harder to forgive someone the more they mean to you, but what you need to remember to ask yourself does the punishment fit the crime" the portraits eyes gave the impression that they were twinkling.

Hermione didn't answer but just nodded her head in acknowledgement and left to post her reply to Eric.

"You know Albus that girl likes Severus more than she's letting on, I think our little plans working just fine" a smiling Minerva told the painting hanging opposite her desk.

Hermione popped into the staffroom after posting a reply to Eric, she was looking for Harry so she could tell him about her date on Sunday. Seeing he was playing cards with Sirius, Remus and Severus and had his back to the door she snuck up on him, placing a finger on her lips to warn the others not to reveal her presence she placed her hands over his eyes and said "Guess who?"

"Hagrid how many times do I have to tell you not to sneak up on people." he laughed ducking a half hearted attempt from Hermione to smack him. "I knew it was you, honest hun" he flashed big puppy dog eyes at her.

"Harry that doesn't even work when I do it and I'm the master at it" said Sirius.

"But you forget old man, I'm younger and better looking, besides Mia loves me" he stuck his tongue out at his godfather for good measure.

"Hermione was joining in with the laughter at the table when an owl tapped on the window to be let in, after Pomona had opened the window the little owl quickly dropped the letter into Hermione's lap and flew off.

"You're popular tonight hun, who's it from?" asked Harry while she was reading it.

"Actually hun, it was why I was looking for you. I get to miss Sundays 'fun night'."

"Lucky wench, how did you wangle that one?" asked Sirius.

Hermione realizing that her revelation would not go down too well with Severus decided to play it safe "It's just a meeting with somebody at the ministry, they keep odd hours so the only time I can meet them is at night" she crossed her fingers in the hope that answer would satisfy them.

Unfortunately Lady Luck was not on her side tonight as Remus decided to pick her pockets on the way to get a drink

"The Southern Belle is a pretty romantic place for a meeting Hermione, in fact the Cajun restaurant is going to be packed out with lovers on valentines night. One would almost think you have a date?" teased Remus.

"Remus as your friend I will give you one chance to return my letter, and if it is not in my hand in the next minute I will seriously hex you into next week" She warned him with her hand outstretched.

Harry had gotten up in case he was needed to run interference between them, when Sybil interrupted the stand off.

"Hermione on a date? I highly doubt it" Sybil said snippily as she still thought that it was Hermione who had sent her the book on Nostradamus for Christmas and as such she was not Hermione's biggest fan.

Hermione snatched her letter from Remus, putting the letter in her pocket her eyes narrowed as she turned to the divination teacher and her tone got sweeter. "And why is that Sybil?"

"Your aura my dear is very dry and dusty, and that is why you cannot attract a man" Sybil replied her answer causing many of the staff to snigger at the preposterous statement.

"Thank you for that informative bit of insight into the state of my love life Sybil, maybe I should go and have my tea leaves read just to make sure I don't end up a batty old woman who hides sherry bottle in suits of armour." Hermione retorted ignoring Harry's soft spoken pleas for her to ignore Sybil.

"So Hermione what are you going to wear?" asked Imogen linking arms with the younger witch "Lets go grab Aurora and have a girly night with lots of wine discussing clothes, shoes, men and sex. So Harry I suggest that you make yourself comfortable with the guys as I'm kidnapping Hermione for the night"

The two women had only just left the staffroom before Severus asked Remus what the letter actually contained.

Remus looked at the anguish evident on his friends face as he told him about Hermione meeting Eric at the hottest new romantic restaurant just opened in Diagon alley.

"Severus, Hermione will forgive you eventually I promise" said Harry

"Is that before or after she's fucked the vampire?" replied Severus bitterly

Harry felt sorry for the raven haired man and decided to give him some advice "Look back in our fourth year Hermione fancied Ron, but Ron being the immature git that he was then didn't see her for the beautiful girl she is, so when she turned up at the Yule ball on the arm of Krum looking amazing he got really jealous and took it out on her, needless to say she attacked him with her infamous flock of birds spell and refused to talk to him for the longest time"

"What has that got to do with me?" asked Severus.

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes Harry explained "Hermione is a very emotional creature, she might fancy Eric but she's in love with you, and you just need to give her time to forgive you and she will...eventually."

"Look as much fun as this agony aunt session is, can we please go somewhere else to do this as Sybil's started on the sherry and I really don't like the way she's looking at me like I'm a piece of meat" said a rather worried Sirius.

"Well seeing as Harry's homeless for the night we might as well go down to Aberforths and drown our sorrows" offered Remus just wanting to get out of the room before anything else kicked off.

"That's a brilliant idea Remus, lets go" said Harry dragging Severus to the chimney and all but throwing him in the fire and forcing him to floo to the hogs head before flooing himself closely followed by Remus and Sirius.

A/N Okay my lovely readers, I just want to say that you guys are fabulous and I love you loads.

If any of you want to head over to my profile I have a poll running for which sport should Minerva make them do.

Hermione's date is the next chapter should she sleep with Eric? I'd love your views because I can have it happen either way. (Hermione's complaining about the lack of action. ; D)

Please read and review it keeps me happy and sane. Xx


	14. Little red dress

**Staff behaving badly**

I own nothing, anything recognizable obviously doesn't belong to me and I promise to put it back once I've finished playing with it, everything written here is just for fun and not profit, although reviews are always welcomed.

This is set 5 years after the war and Hermione has been teaching transfiguration for the last 3 years and is head of Gryfindor, also on the staff are Harry (Quidditch) Sirius (Charms) and Remus (Dada) and obviously Potions is being taught by Severus.

I would just like to say a special thank you to all those of you who were kind enough to review and to all those of you who have put my story on alert thank you also, but reviews are better.

**Chapter 13.**

Hermione turned her shower off and wrapped a fluffy white towel round her body before wrapping smaller one around her hair, she opened the door which led to her bedroom to find Harry lounging on her bed waiting for her.

"Wear the red dress hun, that black strapless number is nasty!" he told her wrinkling his nose in disgust.

"Hey! I like that dress it's from Lavender's Fall/Winter collection."

"Do as you're told woman, wear the red halter neck, your hair twisted up, teamed with these red satin heels and Eric will be putty in your hands"

"Harry, I'm not five, I'm perfectly able of putting an outfit together" she huffed at him pulling a red strapless lace bra out of her drawer with matching knickers.

"I never said you wasn't hun, but being a man I just think the red is sexier" He shoved a pillow behind his head "You know hun if someone was to walk in here now who didn't know us, they might get the wrong idea with you parading around in your undies, you gorgeous hussy"

Hermione sat at her dressing table, caught his gaze in her mirror and gave him a loving smile "They might hun until they found out your preference for tall gorgeous blonds with piercing silvery Grey eyes and a very large ego" She dried her hair magically and put it up in a simple French twist leaving a few strategically placed curls hanging down.

"Speaking of gorgeous creatures, who do you prefer Mr Tall Dark and Moody or Mr Tall Blond and Dead?" Harry had gotten off the bed and was looking through Hermione's jewelery box.

"Honestly?, there's no competition Eric is delicious and I'm absolutely positive he'd be fantastic in the sack but Mr Tall Dark and Moody has got him beat hands down." She finished applying her make up and went to get the red dress out of her wardrobe.

"Now that answer leads me to my next question which I ask on behalf of Sirius and Remus, they'd ask themselves but they think you're going to hex them for their letter prank the other day. If you're in love with Severus why go on the date with the vampire? and aren't you a bit old to be playing tit for tat games?" Feeling the ferocity of Hermione's gaze in the mirror he held his hands up in defeat "Don't shoot the messenger I just said I'd ask you."

She shimmied into the knee length dress and tied the straps around her neck before answering "It's okay Harry, you can tell the two overgrown adolescents that as a single witch I'm at perfect liberty to go on a date with whoever I please."

Slipping her feet into a pair of red heels, she looked over at Harry who was still looking through her jewelery box "The gold pear shaped drop diamond earrings please hun. This is for your ears only, I want Severus to sweep me off my feet, I want romance, excitement, I want him to want to be with me. The passion's there but I want everything and until he shouts it from the rooftops I'm just going to make him suffer."

Hooking the earrings in her ears she turned to Harry and asked "How do I look?"

"You look drop dead gorgeous hun." Harry gave her a quick hug before adding cheekily "So it's a good thing as your date is technically already dead"

"Harry, don't be an ass" she said smiling as she playfully swatted his behind.

"Hey it's not my fault that I'm insanely jealous of you, not only are you on a date with a rather tasty bit of man flesh but you get to miss tonights 'Fun Night' as well." he replied rolling his eyes at the horror that awaited him later on.

"What time is it hun?" Hermione asked as she went to get her coat out of her wardrobe.

"Seven forty five, would you like me to walk you down to the apparition point?"

"No that's okay sweetie, it's not like I'm going to be accosted in a dark corridor besides I have my wand with me" she said slipping her wand into it's holster which was undetectable on her inner forearm.

Harry walked with her to the grand staircase before they separated to go different ways, "Promise to give me all the goss when you get in no matter how late?"

"Silly question that goes with out saying, now I'd better run and if you get the chance to hex Sybil without any one knowing it's you I'll do next Fridays detention for you."

Harry pouted at her "You said you'd do it anyway"

"I am, but Sybil pissed me off the other day when she said I had a dry and dusty aura, not to mention she's still blaming me for her Christmas present"

"Looking good Kitten, that's some outfit just for a boring old meeting with somebody from the ministry, are you sure you wouldn't rather run away with me?" remarked Sirius with a wink, who'd just appeared at the top of the stairs with Remus.

"In your dreams Mutt" she grinned at the older man.

He waggled his eyebrows at her and started singing "You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals, so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel" before he was interrupted by Remus.

Harry are you ready to go to the fun night? I figured if we sit at a table together we can avoid being sat next to Trelawney, we just need to save a seat for Severus as he said he'd be along shortly" asked Remus giving Hermione a long slow appraising look from head to toe, finishing it off with a low wolf whistle.

"Don't you know it's dangerous for little girls dressed in red to be around wolves?" he told her giving a rather wolfish smile.

She rolled her eyes and replied "If I remember correctly in my favorite version of the story Little Red Riding Hood ends up killing the wolf, eats his flesh and has a nice stylish fur coat for winter."

"You are just a cruel woman Hermione, so who's the lucky fellow?" he asked.

"Who says it's a man? I could be meeting with a beautiful woman for hot girl on girl action" she smirked at the shocked but slightly lustful expressions on the marauders faces. "Besides it's none of your business, now if you'll excuse me I have a very hot date that I do not wish to be late for, Harry I'll see you later."

Turning sharply on her heels she started to walk down the stairs, unfortunately when she was near the bottom her heel got caught on something, and she found herself falling forwards unable to stop the momentum when she was caught by a pair of strong arms.

Knowing exactly who had saved her, Hermione was reluctant to look up allowing herself instead to be wrapped in his arms, with her head against the solid wall of his chest, his distinctive scent both calming her after her fright and making her blood bubble with excitement.

"Are you okay Hermione?" asked a soft silky voice.

"She lifted her face to meet his, obsidian eyes looking down at her with concern shining in them "I'm fine, thank you for saving me."

"It was no trouble I can assure you."

As he released her she could feel his gaze burning her skin, lazily traveling over her body. Realizing that one of her shoes had come off, she bent to get it only to be stopped.

"Allow me" Severus retrieved the shoe and knelt down in front of her, feeling his strong firm fingers caressing her ankle as he slowly slipped her shoe back on her foot did nothing to ease the bubbles that were quickly turning into butterflies in her stomach.

Afraid of losing her balance she placed both hands on his shoulders, and closed her eyes marveling at the sensations coursing through her entire body as his hands started to climb higher up her leg, as he reached the middle of her thigh the sensations stopped and her eyes flew open to be met with a pair of lust filled black ones staring back at her.

"You look beautiful tonight Hermione" he said running a finger down her neck causing her to shudder with pleasure.

Hearing the school's clock tower bell strike eight o clock snapped Hermione out of the pleasant stupor she was in "Sorry Severus, I have to go Eric will be waiting for me." She stepped back from his embrace and looked up to find that the lust that had been in his eyes only moments before had been quickly replaced with dark storm clouds of anger.

"You're on a date with Eric Northman" he hissed.

"Yes" she replied walking around him to the front door, only to be yanked back in front of him.

"You're dating the vampire? Do you have a death wish woman? Or even better does Necrophilia turn you on? Because if it does I'd quite happily supply you with a draught of living death and some Viagra so you can at least get your kicks without get sucked dry like a walking juice carton.

Hermione was furious "You bastard!" she snarled trying slap his face only to find that he'd caught her hand easily.

Within seconds she found herself pinned against the stone wall of the castle, both of her wrists was encircled above her head by just one of his strong hands, the other had deftly removed the comb that was holding her hair in place as she opened her mouth to protest it was swiftly and thoroughly plundered by his.

"Get a hold of yourself woman don't let your libido take over, it's not that great a kiss" the logical half of her brain was yelling at her, while her more primal instinctive side was yelling "Him Man, Me Woman, Kiss Good!" At some point he'd released her hands and she now had them wrapped around his neck, her eyes closed in ecstasy as he deepened the kiss, he lifted one of her legs so it was hitched round his waist to get closer to her. Hermione's body was in sensory overload as his lips left hers and began to nibble a path down her chin to that sensitive spot on her collarbone that made her want to melt into a puddle on the floor.

Unfortunately for Hermione's inner cave woman a noise at the top of the stairs brought them to their senses, mortified that she'd been one step away from having porno sex in the school hallway she silently thanked whichever God had kept them from being discovered and drawing on the little of her willpower she had left she pushed him away from her "If you've quite finished being a Neanderthal Severus I have a date waiting for me" she said scathingly.

She picked her comb up off the floor, twisted her hair back up and secured it in place before walking past him steeling herself not to turn round and run back to him as she heard the unmistakable sound of a fist hitting the wall quite forcefully as she left a voice mail message for Eric saying that she'd been delayed by a small problem but she'd be there soon and she was looking forward to their date.

As she reached the main door she stopped and looked behind her hoping he'd followed but the corridor was empty, feeling her heart fracture just a little she plastered a fake smile on her face and left to meet Eric unaware that the entire fiasco had been watched by three men who'd surreptitiously engineered the accidental trip and kept the hallways cleared so they weren't disturbed by unsuspecting passersby.

"Well that ended quicker and with a lot less bloodshed than I thought it would" said Remus.

Sirius smirked "At least we know that it's not lack of passion keeping them apart, I thought we going to have our own floor show for a minute there until somebody had to ruin it" he looked pointedly at Harry.

"It was for your own benefit if it had carried on and she'd found out that we were spying on her then let us just say that Hermione would have couple of new furry throws for our couch and that would include mine." Harry retorted.

"Stop arguing we need to go and find Bats because I'm pretty sure he's broken a few knuckles punching that wall, and knowing him as we do he's probably drowning the pain in firewhisky and refusing to heal it"

"As always the voice of reason Remus, besides Minerva going have a hissy fit if we don't get there sharpish" remarked Harry.

The three men hurried off to the dungeons, not noticing, Dumbledore come out from under the table in a picture of dogs playing poker, "Nice hand there Rex, now if you keep silent the headmistress has promised to get someone to paint some chips and dips into your painting" his painted blue eyes twinkled with mischief as the dogs wagged their tails in agreement and the old headmaster returned to give his report to Minerva in her office.

A/N: Okay my lovely readers chapter 13 finished, please tell me what you think, it really didn't go according to my outline in my head but Hermione and Severus demanded some interaction, not to worry though the next chapter is her date with Eric, and maybe we'll find out who Harry's mystery blond is, if you have any ideas let me know and I'll tell you if you're correct :D.

Thanks for reading and please review as it makes me happier than a kid in a sweetie shop with a pocketful of money and no supervision. Xx


	15. Cold Hands, Warm Blood

**Staff behaving badly**

I own nothing, anything recognizable obviously doesn't belong to me and I promise to put it back once I've finished playing with it, everything written here is just for fun and not profit, although reviews are always welcomed.

This is set 5 years after the war and Hermione has been teaching transfiguration for the last 3 years and is head of Gryfindor, also on the staff are Harry (Quidditch) Sirius (Charms) and Remus (Dada) and obviously Potions is being taught by Severus.

I would just like to say a special thank you to all those of you who were kind enough to review and to all those of you who have put my story on alert thank you also, but reviews are better.

**Chapter 14.**

Hermione stalked down to the apparition point and apparated to the Hogs head where Eric was waiting for her outside, she really didn't feel up to a romantic meal after what had just happened with Severus, that man had a serious talent for being able to make her feel both incredibly aroused and extremely pissed off at him, even now she just wanted to turn back round go back to the castle and either rip his head off or throw him down and ride him till they were both a sweaty, exhausted but completely sated mass of body parts. Hermione's body went into overdrive to this thought, her nipples tightening in response to the visions bombarding her mind of her riding a completely naked Severus, his hands reaching up to play with her breasts while her head was thrown back in passion.

She was interrupted out of her musing by a tall figure blocking her path, she was just about to reach for her wand when the figure spoke to her.

"Hello Hermione, might I say you look positively delicious tonight"

Hermione blushed partly from Eric's comment and partly because she knew Eric could smell her arousal which had been caused both by her encounter with Severus and by her little trip into her torrid fantasy land, she gave him a small smile they didn't quite reach her eyes "Hi Eric thank you for that charming compliment, you look very dapper yourself."

Eric moved closer to her to ward her from a wind that was beginning blow up around them "Would you like to get a drink here first or go straight to the restaurant, it matters not as I booked the table for the entire evening so we wouldn't feel rushed and we could spend the evening getting to know each other more intimately" the innuendo just dripped off the last word in that sentence causing her to blush slightly.

Grateful for the shield he was providing from the bitter wind she smiled up at him "Actually after the evening I've just had a drink sounds wonderful."

"Where would you like to go? as I'm aware that you have two pubs in this little village."

"The Hogs head is the nearest, because even though this cloaks got a self heating charm, it's still colder than a polar bears bollocks" she said shivering.

He raised an eyebrow at her colorful phrase "I'll have to remember that phrase to tell Pam, it will amuse her no end."

Hermione and Eric walked the short distance to the Hogs head in silence mainly because Hermione was still thinking about a certain professor. Eric pushed open the door and the warm light inside spilled out into the dark February night "After you" he said placing his hand on the small of her back ushering her inside.

She felt a small thrill at the contact but it was nothing compared to even a look from Severus "Will you stop thinking about HIM and just let yourself enjoy this evening with a good looking intelligent man who happens to be interested in you" she was still berating herself when Eric returned from the bar.

"Why so serious Hermione? is it to do with why you were held up tonight?" he asked handing her a glass of white wine.

"Thanks Eric, I had a slight crisis before I left the castle tonight and unfortunately it is weighing on my mind somewhat, would you mind if we canceled the meal tonight as I don't feel up to a crowded restaurant full of romancing couples."

Eric looked slightly annoyed but quickly covered it with a mask of concern "Of course Hermione but you must eat, do they serve food here?"

Hermione gave him a grateful smile "Actually Abe does the best steak and ale pie around" she reached over and grasped his cool hand, "Thank you Eric for being so understanding."

"Not at all, I still get to spend the evening with an incredibly intelligent and beautiful witch" he quickly placed Hermione's order and was back in the blink of an eye, flashing her his most charming smile. "So tell me how does a tiny village like this manages to support two pubs?"

Relaxing slightly at the neutral conversation she took a sip of her wine "That's easy, The Three Broomsticks run by Madam Rosmerta is more touristy and it's usually where the pupils go on their Hogsmeade trips, this place run by Aberforth is what's known as the 'Locals' pub frequented by the staff at Hogwarts who are avoiding the pupils."

One of Aberforths pet goats came up to their table and started to butt Eric's leg for attention, Hermione started laughing at Eric's expression "Hermione why is there a goat head butting my leg?"

"That's Belle Abe's favorite pet goat, she has free roam of the bar, in fact most of his customers spoil her, she's like the pubs mascot" she replied scratching the goats ears.

"Belle! there you are you naughty goat, leave Miss Hermione and her young man alone" Aberforth told his pet goat as he served Hermione her meal, then left them alone taking Belle with him.

"Young man indeed" Eric huffed "I have seen more decades than the old fool has had hot dinners."

"Be nice Eric! Aberforth means well, he's just referring to your looks, because you certainly don't look like a thousand year old Viking, which is good really because it would give a whole new meaning to the term grave robbing" She gave him a toothy grin while feeding Belle who was bleating woefully under the table some of her vegetables.

A couple of hours later Hermione and Eric were still sat near the fire discussing the differences between American Were's and Shape shifters and Wizards who are Animagus's.

"You know Hermione, I noticed that there is a large percentage of staff at Hogwarts who smell positively Were, even you have a rather distinctive and delicious smell."

She laughed "Thank you I think, I have a rather unique Animagus ability in that I can change in to any member of the cat family, Minerva who's Animagus form is also feline can only change into a domestic tabby."

"So which cat form do you prefer?"

Flashing him a rather feral smile "What do you think?"

Eric studied her intently "I'd say definitely a man eater, if ever I saw one."

Hermione tongue slipped out to moisten her lips that were starting to feel dry "Well they do say it takes one to know one"

Her breath hitched as Eric leaned closer to her mouth, "So we're both predators with rather useful canines how about if you show me yours and I'll show you mine?" he asked staring into her amber eyes.

The impulse to kiss him was strong, she leaned forward and captured his lips, her fingers entwined in his long blond hair, his tongue slipped into her mouth battling for dominance over hers before she broke away breathing heavily.

"Eric I'm sorry but I can't do this" she said apologetically.

His body tensed and his eyes grew hard and cold "I see, it's not a very smart move Hermione to lead a Vampire on with a rather hot kiss then to say stop."

She stood up wrapping her cloak around her "My personal life is a complete mess at the moment and as much fun it would be for both of us to go to bed right now, it would certainly make the rest of my life more complicated."

He stood up with her "Does this have anything to do with why you turned up smelling of Professor Snape?"

She gave him a confused look, till he tapped his nose "I told you that you all have distinctive smells, would you care to talk about it as I walk you back to the castle I've been told I'm a great listener."

"Why are you being so understanding Eric?"

"Believe it or not but you remind me of my child Pam and as I want you to come and visit me in the holidays, I am being your friend instead of a lusty Vampire who vants to drink your blood" he swept his arm over his face in a mock imitation of Count Dracula causing her burst into giggles.

He held the door open for her as they left the Hogs head to make the short walk up to the castle, "I was being serious about you coming to visit me in Shreveport, Louisiana and to make the offer even sweeter you may bring as many of your friends as you wish all expenses paid."

"That's very generous Eric but how do I know you're not inviting us so we can be an all you can eat buffet for all your Vampire friends?"

He looked deeply offended "You would be under the protection of the Sheriff of Area Five, I look after my guests."

"I'm sorry Eric, I didn't mean to insult you, your offer sounds amazing but I would need to talk it over with Harry first, if my personal problems don't get solved by summer it could be jut the break I need"

They had reached the gates of Hogwarts and were just saying good bye went Eric bent and whispered in her ear "We have company so just play along", he nuzzled at Hermione's neck just nipping her ever so slightly causing a tiny drop of blood to form, his tongue darting out to taste it" he moaned quietly in pleasure "I was right you do taste divine."

He lifted his head to see her eyes had glazed over with lust "You'd better get inside Minn Kaerr before you catch a cold"

Hermione was confused at his actions until the gates swung open to reveal a rather seething Potions master and understood "Thank you for a delightful evening Eric and I've had a wonderful time" She reached up and gave him a brief hug before stalking past Severus refusing to even glance his way.

"If you've hurt her Vampire I will personally seek you out and stake you myself" snarled Severus his black eyes glittering dangerously in the dark.

Eric laughed "You think you can threaten me wand boy, I am infinitely faster and stronger than you, it's been a pleasure tonight showing that hot little witch how she should be treated. Make no mistake she may of not come to my bed tonight but how long do you think she'll hold out for? when all she has for comparison is the way you treat her with your jealousy and petty mind games"

Severus whipped his wand out "You will not touch her, she belongs to me"

Eric flew off into the night sky his final mocking words ringing in Severus's ears "If she belongs to you Wizard, then why was she on a date with me?"

Waving his wand rather more forcefully than was necessary, he slammed the gates shut and stomped up the path to find Sirius and Remus waiting for him by the front door of the castle.

"Haven't I suffered enough tonight without having you two bother me as well?" he groaned rubbing a hand tiredly over his face.

"Look mate we were just checking you haven't done anything stupid like staking a Vampire or upsetting Hermione so she officially kills you" replied Remus.

Severus laughed bitterly "That almost did happen, why does she bring out the worst in me? She makes me so crazy I can't even think straight."

Sirius shivered "As much as this little heart to heart is touching, would you mind if we continued it inside? preferably over a glass of Ogden's Finest in front of a roaring fire" he grumbled.

The two Marauders waited while Severus locked and warded the front doors and then followed him down to his rooms in the dungeons for a long and drunk discussion on what makes witches tick.

A/N: I know Eric seems a little ooc but it works for my story (I hope)

I hope you like this chapter and not to worry my die hard fellow Severus lovers there will be more interaction between them in the next chapter.

I am thinking that movie night should be next months fun night theme, if you have any suggestions on movies let me know and why the choice for that particular movie.

Maybe boys choice v girls choice.

Well I've rambled on for long enough, thank you for reading I think you're fabulous. Xx


	16. Soap opera

**Staff behaving badly**

I own nothing, anything recognizable obviously doesn't belong to me and I promise to put it back once I've finished playing with it, everything written here is just for fun and not profit, although reviews are always welcomed.

This is set 5 years after the war and Hermione has been teaching transfiguration for the last 3 years and is head of Gryfindor, also on the staff are Harry (Quidditch) Sirius (Charms) and Remus (Dada) and obviously Potions is being taught by Severus.

I would just like to say a special thank you to all those of you who were kind enough to review and to all those of you who have put my story on alert thank you also, but reviews are better.

This chapter is dedicated to all my loyal Severus fans. There be lemons ahead. Xx

**Chapter 15.**

Hermione paced her rooms absolutely furious with Severus, pausing only to accept a large glass of vodka and coke from Harry.

"Who in Merlin's name does he think he is?" she said to herself while taking her earrings out and dumping them unceremoniously in her jewellery box.

Harry was lounging on the sofa watching his best friend wearing a hole in the carpet "What's happened now hun? Does it have something to do with your date with Eric?" he asked these questions knowing full well that only one person on the face of this planet frustrates Hermione this much.

He patted the cushion beside him "Why don't you change into something more comfortable and then we can cuddle up and have a nice long chinwag about it over this large bottle of vodka that I pilfered from Sirius earlier, now hurry up while I refill our glasses."

Five minutes later Hermione emerged from her bedroom wearing her favorite slobbing pajamas that just happened to be made of warm blue fleecy material and had white fluffy sheep printed on it, which matched the big fluffy sheep slippers that she'd stuck on her feet, and plonked herself on the sofa.

"Alrighty hun, give me all the juicy details" he said passing her a fresh glass of Vodka and coke, the main component being vodka.

Hermione downed half the glass without even batting a eyelid "It all started earlier this evening after he'd caught me when I'd stumbled down the last couple of steps on the main staircase."

Luckily for Harry she didn't notice the guilty look on his face as she continued with her tale.

"He complimented me on my outfit, slipped my shoe back on my foot Cinderella style it was all very nice and lovely till I happened to mention I was meeting Eric and then he went all psycho bat of the dungeons on me accusing me of Necrofuckingphillia. Even going onto say that if that's how I get my kicks he'd give me a draught of sleeping death and some Viagra so at least I wouldn't get myself drained like a walking juice box." She stopped mid rant realizing that Harry was trying desperately to stop his sniggers from turning into full blown laughter.

"Harry it's not funny" she told him crossly, draining the rest of her drink.

He burst out laughing "Come on Mia, you've got to admit it's a little funny, only Severus would combine Viagra and the draught of sleeping death in the same sentence." He doubled over clutching his sides he was laughing so hard, only to find himself being clobbered with a cushion.

"Okay it's a little funny" she said trying to hide the little twitches of a smile appearing on her lips. "But that's beside the point, he shouldn't of said it."

Harry refilled her glass "So I presume you hexed him and walked off?"

"Not exactly."

"What do you mean not exactly? Harry asked indignantly, even though he already knew what had occurred.

"Well if you stop parroting everything back at me I'll tell you, after he'd called me a walking juice box I called him a bastard and went to slap him, unfortunately he caught my hands, pressed me against the wall and proceeded to kiss me senseless."

"Before you go any further hun I want to get some popcorn for the juicy bits."

"Harry it's not a bloody soap opera you know."

He grinned at her "I know that hun, but if it was you can guarantee it'd be a sure fire ratings winner."

He put on a cheesy American accent "Will Severus stop insulting Hermione long enough to reveal his true feelings? Will Hermione stay true to Severus? or will she be tempted by the handsome blond Vampire? Find out next time on Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

"You're mental, do you know that? How much vodka have you had?" she asked summoning the bottle rather unsteadily.

He stuck his tongue out at her "Less than you sweetie, now continue I want to know what happens next on Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry" he said ducking to avoid a poorly aimed cushion that came flying his way.

She gave him a mock huff "As I was saying he had me pinned up against the wall snogging my brains out when it suddenly got all hot and heavy, luckily a sound further along the hall distracted us otherwise we'd of ended up having hot porno sex right then and there regardless of anyone else."

"And?" asked Harry starting to slur his words a little.

"And nothing, after the noise disturbed us I came to my senses and left him standing there while I walked to the front door, just before I left the castle I heard him punch the wall but when I turned round he'd gone so I continued on to meet Eric."

"So I take it you were late meeting Eric then."

Hermione laughed "I was nearly half an hour late, not that he seemed to mind" she said pouring another drink for her and Harry, spilling quite a bit in the process.

"How was the food at the restaurant?" He asked while trying to fish an ice cube out of his glass.

"Don't know, we ended up eating at the Hogs head because I couldn't face going to a romantic restaurant after all the drama with Severus, so we spent a good couple of hours talking and then I kissed him"

"You kissed a smoking hot Vampire and you're only just telling me now!" he exclaimed "Tell me everything, was he good? Did his fangs get in the way?"

"Harry you perv calm down, yes it was good but he wasn't Severus so Eric walked me home only to be greeted at the gates by none other than the dungeon bat himself looking all brooding and sexy."

"What did he say?"

"Nothing, so I said goodbye to Eric and came up to the castle totally ignoring him" Hermione got up from the sofa and stared pacing the room again "God damn it Harry! Why does he pull me in one minute and push me away the next?"

"I don't know love but I'm sure the pair of you will work it out" he replied yawning

She stopped pacing and looked thoughtful "That's it I'm going to resolve this once and for all, I am going down there to give him a piece of my mind!" she said forcefully walking towards the door.

"Mia wait, don't you think you'd be better waiting till you're a little bit more sober?" but his words fell on silent ears as she'd already left the room.

"Poor Severus" murmured Harry as he drifted off into a drunken stupor.

_Mean while back in Severus's chamber._

"Severus will you please stop pacing up and down you're starting to make me nauseous" groaned Sirius.

"And the numerous glasses of Firewhisky you've consumed isn't" was the sarcastic answer he received.

"Why does she drive me insane?"

"Severus you know she likes you, yet you keep fucking it up! Hell if either me or Sirius thought she was interested in us do you think we'd hang around playing stupid mind games?" said a rather frustrated Remus.

"Since she started here three years ago did you think we hadn't noticed what a rather hot and amazing witch she is?" Sirius backed up his fellow marauders comment.

Severus stopped pacing and turned to them "Why are you telling me this?" he asked dejectedly.

Sirius and Remus exchanged looks "Because you dunderhead even when the two of you were at each others throats it was plain to see there was something underlying there, but and I say this for your own good IF you do not pull your finger out and actually do something positive about your situation with Hermione then she's not going to be single forever and you will regret that for the rest of your life, only this time it will be a million times worse than losing Lily"

"Look mate why don't you think it over and the-" Sirius was interrupted by someone hammering on the door.

Severus groaned "Please Merlin don't let it be a student, Sirius get the door will you ?"

"Why what a pleasant surprise kitten and such delightful pajamas" smirked Sirius.

"Shut it Black, is he here?" she asked poking him in the chest.

"Oh Sevvie darling you have a visitor, Remus it's time for us to leave these lovebirds alone" he made kissy faces at Hermione.

"One more word Black and I'll have you neutered" she snarled at him.

Remus was grinning at this surprising turn of events and just as he got to the door he shouted over his shoulder "Now remember to play nicely children." he closed the door behind him laughing as he heard them both call him a stupid werewolf.

Hermione was seriously pissed off but even her alcohol induced anger didn't lessen the shot of lust that swept through her when she saw him standing there in a pair of black button up jeans and a black shirt which only had half of the buttons fastened, so she could clearly see some of his pale but muscled chest that had a smattering of black hair on it.

Her mouth went dry as she struggled to form coherent thoughts while staring at his delicious chest.

"My face is up here you know" Severus said dryly.

"Well you shouldn't be walking around half naked" she retorted looking up to see an amused expression on his face.

"Yes because being half naked in ones own rooms is such a crime" he smirked. "So are you here for a reason or just to perv in general because if it's the last one I'll make it easier on you" he slowly unbuttoned the rest of his shirt and threw it on the sofa.

"I...I...I..." she stuttered.

His only response was his trademark arched eyebrow .

"Damn that sexy eyebrow" she thought as her stomach was doing cartwheels and her knickers were getting damper, suddenly she decided to wipe the smirk off his face by marching up to him and dragging his head down to hers she proceeded to kiss him strong and hard.

"Hermione" he panted breaking away from the ferocious kiss "Stop, we need to talk."

She just dragged him by the belt loops on his jeans over to the sofa, pushed him down and straddled him "No Severus, I want you and I want you now" she ran her fingers through his hair as she kissed him again, grinding on his lap as she did so.

Severus groaned she stared to suck his earlobe gently biting it with her teeth, she whispered in his ear "Tell me you want me" her fingers raked down his chest and over the now quite prominent bulge in his jeans.

"Gods! Yes I want you" his hands deftly unbuttoned the pajama top exposing her breasts to his hungry eyes and mouth.

"Do you like this witch?" he asked enjoying the low moan that spilled from her luscious lips as he tweaked her erect nipple "Or maybe this?" he lowered his head and slowly encircled her nipple with his tongue before taking it in his mouth and sucking greedily.

"Please Severus" she begged as she writhed on his lap trying to create some relief for her throbbing clit.

She wandlessly removed the rest of their clothing, wrapping a handful of of his silky black hair around her her hand and tugging his head back so she could look into his obsidian lust filled eyes "Enough games Severus I want more" she said huskily as she lowered herself onto his hard throbbing cock, groaning in pleasure at the way he felt inside her.

"Fuck! You're so tight Hermione, you feel so good" his hands grasped her waist as she began to move up and down increasing her speed, his eyes fixed on her sizable breasts jiggling before him.

She rode him hard and fast, hearing him moan her name nearly sent her over the edge so she lent forward and captured his lips "Cum for me Severus" she whispered.

Hermione suddenly found herself flipped on her back as Severus took over "Tell me who's witch you are?" he demanded forcefully as he pounded into her taking her to a brink of an orgasm.

"Yours Severus, only yours" her nails leaving long red tracks down his back.

"Good witch" he moaned before thrusting into her again and again until they both came screaming each others names.

Hermione rolled out from underneath Severus and snuggled into the crook of his arm "Mmm, that was good but I'm going to sleep now" she sleepily kissed his chest and closed her eyes.

He gave a low chuckle and summoned his duvet to cover them, before closing his eyes to join her in dreamland.

A/N: Okay folks, they've finally done the deed, which the naughty couple demanded at wand point ;D

Please review and tell me what you think. Xx


	17. Morning has broken

**Staff behaving badly**

I own nothing, anything recognizable obviously doesn't belong to me and I promise to put it back once I've finished playing with it, everything written here is just for fun and not profit, although reviews are always welcomed.

This is set 5 years after the war and Hermione has been teaching transfiguration for the last 3 years and is head of Gryfindor, also on the staff are Harry (Quidditch) Sirius (Charms) and Remus (Dada) and obviously Potions is being taught by Severus.

I would just like to say a special thank you to all those of you who were kind enough to review and to all those of you who have put my story on alert thank you also, but reviews are better.

**Chapter 16.**

Hermione woke to the feel of a arm wrapped possessively around her waist, she tried to get up but was pinned by the comfortable weight of the person behind her "Harry sweetie, you need to move your arm so I can get up" she whispered as she wiggled against the solid mass only to realize that both her and Harry were naked "Fuck! How much vodka did they drink last night?"

Suddenly something clicked in her brain, the duvet covering them was not one she or Harry owned glancing round the room she tried to work out where she was and who she was with. Castle walls good thing but narrowed her choice down to a select few, firm manly arm definitely good, books lining the walls but lack of foreign artifacts ruled out Sirius and Remus she let a breath she didn't realize she was holding thankful she hadn't made that big of a drunken mistake.

She lent against the body behind her and thought "Okay Hermione retrace your steps what can remember" she flashed back to the previous evening "Got home from date with Eric, ignored Severus who opened the gates, went straight to rooms where I proceeded to rant to Harry about Severus's behavior that evening, whilst helping Harry to drink a rather large bottle Vodka."

Turning her attention to the arm that kept her trapped, she knew exactly who she was with and how she'd ended up there. Giving herself a mental high five for the fabulously hot sex they'd had last night and a mental slap to the forehead for wearing something so idiotic as her sheep slippers and pajamas. She started to make a checklist in her head "Get up from sofa without waking Severus and find stupid pajamas, put said stupid pajamas on and escape back to rooms without anyone seeing me in stupid pajamas."

She gingerly lifted the heavy arm and allowed her body to slip onto the soft carpeted floor, before replacing the arm back on the duvet. "Now all I have to do is find my clothes", tiptoeing around the room she eventually found them along with his jeans on a nearby chair. Quickly getting dressed and putting her fluffy slippers on, she took a final glance at the hot man asleep on the sofa his sooty black lashes standing out against his pale skin, frowning at the long strand of hair that lay across his face she reached over and tenderly swept it back behind his ear.

Casting a quick tempus spell revealed that it was six thirty in the morning, thanking her lucky stars that it was early, and most of the castle occupants would still be asleep, she quietly snuck out of the door and hurried back to her rooms praying to which ever God who happened to be listening that nobody saw her leaving Severus's rooms clad only in her pajamas.

She made it back to the Unicorn portrait that protected her and Harry's rooms in record time, she muttered the password "Tim Curry rocks" under her breath before slipping in through the now open door. Making her way to her shower she spotted Harry passed out on the floor due to him rolling off the sofa in the middle of the night, "Bless!" she whispered smiling at the sight of him drooling slightly and then quickly levitating him back on the sofa, pulling the duvet over him and gently ruffling his hair.

In her bathroom she turned her shower allowing it to get to the correct temperature while she stripped off those blasted pajamas, as much as she loved them they just were not supposed to be seen by anyone other than Harry and now not only had Remus and Sirius seen them but she'd seduced Severus in them.

Getting into her shower she began to leisurely wash her hair when a thought came screeching to a halt in the front of her mind "Bollocks! I forgot to leave a note, I'm sure he'll understand that we both have classes to prepare for." She slowly finished the rest of her shower smiling to herself about the outcome of last nights events, turning the water off she stepped out and wrapped a towel round herself and was looking at her reflection in the mirror when she heard Harry groaning in the other room, opening the bathroom cabinet she took out a vial of hangover potion just as Harry lurched into the room, without saying a word she just passed it to him, then left him in peace to recover.

Thirty minutes later Hermione was dressed and making a pot of Assam tea when Harry now fully refreshed joined her in their siting room.

"So is he still breathing?" asked Harry reaching for his favorite mug.

"Well he was about an hour ago when I left his rooms" she replied hiding her smirk behind her mug.

Apparently Harry still wasn't with it as he just nodded and took a swig of his tea, Hermione mentally counted down in her head "Three...Two...One" and cast a small shield as Harry spat out his tea in shock.

"Took you long enough hun" she said reaching over and gently closing his mouth.

Casting a quick scourgify on the worktop Harry finally came to his senses "You really have to stop dropping bombshells on me, come on you can give me all the juicy details on the way to breakfast."

Taking their mugs with them they made their way to the Great hall while Hermione told Harry everything.

"I can't believe you didn't leave a note, I hope to Merlin that he understands because I want the two of you to be happy and then we can go on a group date" Harry said as they reached the teachers table before adding in a whisper "So on a scale of one to ten, with one being Ron and nine being Charlie and Blaize where does he rank on your Lovers scale?" unaware that he'd been overheard by Sirius and Remus.

Hermione gave him a salacious grin "Definitely a eight for last nights performance and I know it will be better next time" she speared the sausage on her plate and bit it before turning her attention to the two Marauders sat next to Harry and raised an eyebrow in question at their obvious mirth.

"What no pajamas this morning? And those ones you wore last night were so fetching, honestly I had to go and take a cold shower at the sight of them didn't I Mooney?"

"He certainly did, in fact I think I remember a witch wearing a similar pair in last issue of Play Wizard, very alluring indeed" Remus and Sirius gave her identical smirks before saying good morning to Severus who had just joined them at the table choosing to sit next to Hermione.

"Good Morning Severus, did you sleep okay? because you don't look well rested" asked Harry earning himself a kick on his shins from Hermione.

"Ow! What was that for?" he caught the fierce look that she was giving him before shutting his mouth and turning his attention back to his breakfast.

"So Sevvie what did you and Hermione get up to last night after we left?, because obviously you didn't kill each other, I'm thinking that maybe you gave each other a tongue lashing of a different kind" Sirius said waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Get your mind out of the gutter mutt and let me eat my breakfast in peace"

Hermione desperate to change the subject spoke to Imogen who was sat a little way down the table "What year do you have first?"

Imogen smiled "Thankfully I've got a free period, before having the Slytherin/Gryfindor first years, what about you? Have you bagged any free Periods today?"

Hermione risked a quick glance at Severus under the pretext of reaching for the salt and noticed he was watching her under that heavy lidded gaze of his that made her stomach do somersaults, sending a small smile his way she picked the salt up and answered the Arithmancy teacher "Luckily I've got the period after lunch free due to the seventh years studying for their Newts."

Their discussion was cut short by an argument breaking out between the sixth year Slytherin and Gryfindor quidditch captains Charlotte Burns and Marcus Swift, it ended with Marcus saying something unintelligible under his his breath which was closely followed by Charlotte calling him a Gryfindor pig and slapping his face.

Hermione was the first to act "Burns, Swift my office now" she bellowed across the hall so loud that the staff sat at the breakfast table jumped along with most of the hall.

The two students glared at each other before picking up their book bags and trudging to her office, Hermione didn't leave immediately instead she finished her tea before standing up to leave only to find Severus by her side.

"Would you care for assistance Professor Granger?" He asked.

"Thank you but no, I am more than capable of dealing with this Professor Snape" she replied primly "However if it is suitable for you to pop by my classroom this lunch time to discuss the upcoming Gryfindor/Slytherin match I would be most appreciative" and left the room not waiting for his answer, knowing full well he would be there.

Severus sat back down in his chair ignoring the babble of conversation going on around him, his mind on the sexy witch who had just left the table. Subconsciously hearing the bell for first class ringing Severus stood up and made his way to teach fifth year potions.

As soon as the lunchtime bell rang Severus quickly dismissed his present class not even bothering to set them homework much to their delight and made his way to Hermione's classroom, he knocked on he door and entered the room to find her in the middle of telling a group of third years off for letting stink bombs off in her classroom.

"And furthermore I expect a two thousand word essay on the stink bomb, it's properties and exactly why it is inappropriate to set them off during my lesson?"

"But Professor do we really have to miss the Hogsmeade visit as well as do the detentions and the essay?" a particularly dunce Hufflepuff asked.

Severus smirked at the anger radiating off Hermione glad that for once it wasn't directed at him, she lent forward over her desk and said in a deathly low voice "Congratulations Mr Murphy you have just earned yourself and your fellow pranksters an extra essay on why teachers give out punishments, it is to be at least one thousand words and I want it on my desk by our next lesson together, do you understand?"

All four students nodded and mumbled "Yes Professor Granger."

Fixing them with a steely glare she dismissed them, trying to hold back the smirk as four disgruntled students left the room.

"Nicely done Professor, I do believe you've frightened the prank making ability out of them."

She turned in her swivel chair and smiled "Hopefully they'll at least think twice before pranking in my class again, besides I learned the whole scary teacher routine from the best."

Perching himself on the corner of her desk he arched his infamous eyebrow "Really and who might that be?"

"Why Minerva of course, there was my potions professor he was very intimidating to other people but he never scared me."

"The little Gryfindor standing up to the big bad potions professor, how brave you were" he murmured his eyes transfixed on her lips.

She stood up and moved closer to him "Do you want to know a secret Severus?"

"Yes" it came out a hoarse whisper

"I wasn't frightened of you because whenever you talked all I kept doing was imagining you doing naughty things to me especially over your desk" Hermione flicked her wand and warded her door from people just walking in.

"You left without saying goodbye this morning" he stated while his fingers traced patterns up and down her spine.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to, my only thought was to getting back to my rooms without anybody seeing my pajamas." she replied blushing slightly.

Severus smirked "Ah yes those delightful pajamas, I must admit I've grown rather fond of them. But that doesn't answer the question why didn't you just use the floo?"

She reached up and brought his head down to meet hers, "I didn't want to wake you because you looked so peaceful lying there asleep." She stared into his obsidian eyes briefly before giving him the kiss that she'd been wanting to give him all day.

They decided to spend the rest of the lunch break exploring each others mouths, before reluctantly breaking apart breathlessly when the bell rang signaling the end of lunch.

"Will you join me later after dinner?" he asked hoping she'd say yes, before she could answer Remus had popped his head round the door.

"Oh good Hermione I found you, I missed you at lunch but I was wondering if you'd pop along and duel with me as a demonstration for my sixth years?"

"Sure Remus I'll be along momentarily" she said walking over to the fire, she turned round and called out Severus's name just as he was leaving the room.

"Severus?"

"Yes Hermione?"

"I'd love to join you later, is eight o clock okay?"

"Perfect" he replied and swept from the room his black cape billowing, Hermione smiled at the sight before flooing directly to Remus's classroom.

A/N: I'm sorry for the small delay in this chapter as I probably could of got it up sooner, if I hadn't been reading some of the fabulous stories written by you fantastic people.

I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review as it keeps me sane and stops me from shouting at my inbox "Love me!"

The next fun night will be movie night, I would love to hear your movie suggestions and why. Xx


	18. Five guesses

**Staff behaving badly**

I own nothing, anything recognizable obviously doesn't belong to me and I promise to put it back once I've finished playing with it, everything written here is just for fun and not profit, although reviews are always welcomed.

This is set 5 years after the war and Hermione has been teaching transfiguration for the last 3 years and is head of Gryfindor, also on the staff are Harry (Quidditch) Sirius (Charms) and Remus (Dada) and obviously Potions is being taught by Severus.

I would just like to say a special thank you to all those of you who were kind enough to review and to all those of you who have put my story on alert thank you also, but reviews are better.

**Chapter 17.**

_**Polite Notice.**_

_**This months staff fun night will take place on the 17th of March, this months theme is movie night and I would like all of you to come dressed as a character from your favorite film, I will then choose one person to be the winner and we will watch the film of their choice.**_

_**Yours sincerely**_

_**Minerva Mcgonagal**_

_**Headmistress**_

_****_Hermione snuggled closer to Severus, her fingers playing with the soft hair on his chest "Please tell me who you're going as?"

He closed his eyes and rested his head against his oak headboard "No, you'll find out tomorrow night along with everyone else."

"But Severus, you wouldn't want us to have matching outfits now would you?"

"Highly unlikely don't you think?"

The room went silent as Hermione sat thinking and Severus just enjoyed the peace and quiet while lying next the rather hot but extremely inquisitive young witch.

"Can I guess?" she asked eagerly.

"No."

"Pleeeaaaase, I'll make it worth your while" she begged now straddling him.

Severus opened his eyes "Worth my while you say?"

"Anything you want" she replied leaning forwards so her breasts were just inches away from his mouth.

"Fine you get five guesses, you guess correctly I will be your slave for an evening, on the other hand guess wrongly and I fully expect you to tell me one of the fantasies you used to have about me in my lessons" he said silkily.

Hermione grinned "I'll go one better, IF I lose I will enact out one of my favorite potions fantasy's before next months fun night, only I won't tell you when I'll do it" her amber eyes twinkling with excitement.

"Deal."

"Superman?"

"As if!" he said scornfully.

"Hmm! Too flashy, Batman?"

"Not even close."

"Okay not a superhero," she went quiet again as she thought about his DVD collection "Jareth the uber sexy Goblin King?" she asked hopefully.

He chuckled "That's your DVD that you forced me to watch remember? What is it that is so appealing about him anyway?"

"That's easy, sinfully tight pants, leather boots, a riding crop are always a winning combination with me, the fact he's a bad boy as well helps, Oh and when he says Fear me, Love me, Do as I say and I will be your slave I'm in heaven. Prince Charming always seemed a bet wet behind the ears to me when compared to Jareth the Goblin King."

"My, my who knew Gryfindor's golden girl had such a dark and depraved mind" his voice low and husky as he lazily tweaked one of her erect nipples "Only two chances left, choose wisely"

She squealed and bounced up and down on his lap "It's an Alan Rickman character isn't it?"

"Yes, he brings such depth to his characters, a simply marvelous man even if I do say so myself"

"The bad guy from Die Hard?"

He shook his head "Only one more chance Hermione, I wonder does my know it all witch really know everything?"

Hermione could feel him hardening underneath her and grinned triumphantly "I've got it, The big bad Sheriff of Nottingham."

"Oh dear, so close but no cigar" he purred and quickly flipped her onto her back and thrust into her hot, wet core.

"No more questions, the only thing I want to hear is you screaming my name" he withdrew his penis till only the tip was inside her and then slammed back into her causing her to moan in pleasure.

He pulled almost all the way out again "Do you understand?"

Wrapping her legs round him and then raking her nails gently down his back "I understand less talk more action, now get on with it" she said huskily before dragging his mouth down to meet hers.

"Sweet Merlin this witch was amazing" Severus thought while complying with her wishes, a couple of hours later an exhausted but completely sated Hermione mumbled something about if you loved me you'd tell me to which he chuckled and fell asleep.

The next night Hermione and Harry were in their rooms getting ready for that evening's entertainment.

"So Mia has Severus told you who he's going as yet?"asked Harry struggling to attach his fishnet stocking to his suspender belt "For Merlin's sake, these things are stupid."

Hermione grinned and went over to help him "No he refused to tell me, I even tried bribing him with sexual favors but the man's a rock."

"Shouldn't that be as hard as a rock" Harry smirked.

"You're terrible" she giggled "Are you ready for me to fasten your corset?"

Harry nodded and braced himself, she gave a small yank on the strings just to pull them together making him gasp "Okay Mia that's tight enough, a blokes got to breath you know"

"Nonsense Harry! I barely even pulled, besides my corset is much tighter than this."

"That's different you're more fleshy than I am" he moaned as she pulled it even tighter.

"Are you calling me fat Mr Potter?" she demanded.

He gulped and quickly denied her statement "No not at all, it's just that my chest is all hard and manly and yours is soft and curvy so it's easier for your bits to be squashed and rearranged by this infernal contraption."

It was your idea for us to go as characters from the Rocky Horror Picture show" she reminded him "Besides with any luck Filch will of forgotten to dress up and we'll have a Riff Raff to go with our Dr Frank N Furter and Janet disguises."

Harry was laughing so hard he was almost hyperventilating "Damn that's a thought to curdle milk, hmm... it's just a shame I don't have my very own Rocky" he heaved a dramatic sigh, well as dramatic as he could manage in his corset.

Hermione gave him a cuddle "Don't worry hun, your prince will come soon" she handed him a pair of black high heels which she'd transfigured out of a pair of his trainers "Put these on and lets go."

He eyed them suspiciously "Are you mental hun, there's not a chance that I'll be able to walk in them."

She clipped him round the head "That's for calling me mental, I've placed a rather nifty charm on them that I learned from Ginny back in our fourth year, it makes them feel like your comfiest pair without forgetting that you're wearing heels."

Slipping his feet into the heels, he was amazed as it felt like he was just wearing his trainers "You're a genius" ignoring the fact Hermione was rolling her eyes at him he opened the door that leads to the corridor and cast a disillusionment charm on himself before turning to Hermione and asking her to hurry up.

Casting the same charm on herself as she walked over to him, "I don't know what you're telling me to hurry up for I've been ready for ages" she said as they left for the staffroom together.

The staffroom was a cacophony of noise as they entered Hermione burst out laughing and nudged Harry when she spotted Sirius coming towards them dressed as Count Dracula young persona.

Sirius smirked "Well I know you have a thing for bats and vampires so I thought I'd try my luck" he waggled his violet glasses suggestively.

"I think you might have better luck with Lara Croft over there" She pointed towards Imogen dressed in a tight vest top and little cargo shorts "Or there's Aurora who's come as Princess Leia"

"Thankfully not in the bikini, as she doesn't look like she's started her bikini diet yet" Harry whispered into Hermione's ear causing her to giggle.

Unfortunately Sirius's canine hearing caught the last bit of Harry's sentence "What's wrong with a good looking woman having some meat on her bones?, it makes the ride more comfortable" he asked indignantly.

Hermione removed her cloak causing Sirius to choke on his drink "Harry love give us your cloak and I'll hang them up."

"Psst! Hermione, don't look now but I think you ought to know that you and Harry have matching outfits on" Sirius said in a mock whisper.

From the other side of the room Remus shouted over "Oh Harry a little word of advice, ask Hermione what she's wearing before raiding her wardrobe, it saves you from making a fashion faux pas like wearing the same outfit" The staffroom erupted in laughter as Harry flipped him a finger.

Taking both of the cloaks Hermione deliberately walked across the room passing Severus who was stood talking to Remus. "You're looking very sixties tonight Remus, is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased me?" she asked stopping to comment on Remus's Freddie Mays costume from the film Gangster no 1.

Remus grinned wolfishly "I'm always pleased to see you Hermione, you know that" his seemingly innocent statement earned him a rather vicious scowl from Severus.

Hermione turned her gaze to the Potions master and blatantly looked him up and down, he was wearing a burgundy suit with a black hooded jumper underneath "What are you?"

"I'm pissed off is what I am" he retorted raising his trademark eyebrow.

"Well when you're as anatomically correct as a Ken doll, that's bound to make anyone cranky just remember not to go moulting your feathers all over the floor messenger boy"

Remus looked confused "Just who have you come as tonight bats?"

"I am the Metatron, stand back" Severus said imperiously revealing his rather impressive wingspan and flexing them a few times just to show off a little.

"Speaking of characters Hermione what have you come as?, a call girl from the Moulin Rouge perhaps?" Severus asked, his silky voice making her melt.

"That's show girl you imbecile."

"Same thing wasn't it" he interrupted.

She continued "And no I'm not a show girl, I've come dressed as Janet from The Rocky Horror Picture Show and Harry's is dressed like Dr Frank N Furter" she nodded to where Harry was stood with Aurora showing her how to do the Timewarp.

"I see" his eyes twinkled in appreciation of her outfit.

"I'm sure you do Severus" winking at the two men she sashayed over to the coat stand to finish hanging hers and Harry's cloaks up.

She stood there for a few moments just observing the interaction between the staff, Filch and Trelawney were sat in a corner talking, she really didn't need to know what Filch's hand was doing under the table to make Sybil squirm like that, suppressing a shudder Hermione moved her gaze onto Poppy, Hagrid, Pomona and Irma who were sat plying cards while they waited for Minerva to make her announcement about what film they were going to watch tonight. Minerva was in deep conversation with the deputy head Fitzwilliam Butler.

Hermione was positive that there was something going on between the two of them, not that she could cast the first stone about secret relationships because she'd agreed with Severus when he'd suggested keeping their fledgling romance under wraps for the time being. She smiled to herself, even just thinking about him gave her a warm fuzzy sensation in her stomach, Hermione turned her attention to Aurora and Imogen, they were the closest things to girlfriends that she had as Ginny was constantly on tour with the Holyhead Harpies and Luna was busy trekking in the Peruvian Jungle with Neville looking for some rare tropical plant.

As she watched the group consisting of Remus,Harry,Sirius,Severus, Imogen and Aurora she noticed something quite interesting, Sirius was subtly flirting with Aurora and then she remembered his comment from earlier on how there was nothing wrong with curvy witches "Must remember to tell Harry" she thought to herself.

"Oi Mia! they want you to sing your favorite song from the film" Harry shouted over, snapping her out of her thoughts.

Returning the grin "I'll need a couple of back up singers, Imogen Aurora?, you don't need to sing much just a couple of lines" she waved her wand and produced a copy of the song lyrics "Imogen I want you to sing Columbia's lines and Aurora you sing Magenta's okay?"

The two witches nodded, while Sirius charmed Harry's mp3 player to play the song loudly without words.

Minerva came over with mischief twinkling in her eyes "So Hermione are you dedicating the song to anyone?"

Hermione narrowed her eyes at the older witch "I don't think so Minerva, why who do you think I should dedicate it to?"

The headmistress was saved from answering by Harry saying they were ready whenever Hermione was.

Sitting on the edge of one of the writing desks in the room, her feet on it's hard back chair, Hermione began her song

"_I was feeling done in_

_Couldn't win_

_I'd only ever kissed before."_

Imogen Columbia joined her on the table _"You mean she..."_

Aurora sat on her other side and sung Magenta's line _"Uh-huh"_

"_I felt there's no use getting_

_Into heavy petting_

_It only leads to trouble and seat wetting._

_Now I want to know_

_Is how to go _

_I've tasted blood and I want more."_

Imogen and Aurora joined in _"More!More!More!"_

"_I'll put up no resistance_

_I want to stay the distance_

_I've got an itch to scratch _

_I need assistance"_

"_Touch-a, touch-a, touch-a Touch me_

_I want to be dirty_

_Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me_

_Creature of the night"_

Hermione looked out over the staff watching and most of the men were sat uncomfortably with their legs crossed or with a cushion on their laps and grinned, moving from the table to the chair she sat astride it her hands gripping the back as she lent back then slowly brought herself forwards winking at Sirius,Severus and Remus who were sat directly in front of her.

"_Then if anything grows_ she gave a small chuckle.

_While you pose_

_I'll oil you up and rub you down"_

"_Down!Down!Down!" _sung Aurora and Imogen.

"_And that's just one small fraction of the main attraction_

_You need a friendly hand_

_Oh!, I need action" _she threw her head back as if in the throws of an orgasm while the other two witches sang the chorus again, when the song finished the staffroom erupted in applause for the three women.

"Okay settle down everybody, in light of Hermione rather informative song I think that we should watch hers and Harry's choice, if you would be so kind as to set it up please Fitzwilliam, everyone else find a seat, make yourselves comfortable and the house elves will be along shortly with popcorn and refreshments.

Hermione went to sit next to Harry on the sofa only to find that Severus was in her place smirking up at her.

"You're sat in my place Severus"

"I don't see your name on it Miss Granger" he patted his lap "Although you can sit on my knee if you promise to be a good little witch and not talk during the movie."

Hermione stood with her hands on her hips and glared at him which only caused him to smirk even more.

"Hermione, just sit down dear the film's about to start" the headmistress told her.

"Yes Headmistress" she replied having an evil little brainwave at the same time, while making as much fuss as she could about sitting next to the evil Potions professor, she decided to sit on arm of the sofa next to Harry, kicking her heels off she stretched her legs over Harry's lap so her feet were just resting on Severus's groin.

"Watch where you put your feet Hermione I wouldn't want anything to get damaged by your clumsiness" he growled softly keeping up the pretense that they were enemies.

"You mean you're not in full costume, and there was me thinking you chose that character just so you wouldn't have to hide your inadequacies with a rolled up sock for once" She said with mock sweetness while her toes subtly rubbed his ever growing bulge.

Minerva snapped "Will you two stop your childish bickering and watch the film." before angrily waving her wand at the light to turn them off.

When the film had finished and the teachers were departing to their rooms Hermione felt Severus press a note discretely in her hand as he passed, waiting till she was safely in her room she read it's contents.

_Floo to my rooms, ten minutes, don't change._

S.

"Harry don't wait up, although If I'm not back by seven fire call me as it's the Hufflepuff/Gryfindor match tomorrow and I need to pep talk my house at eight." she said as she walked over to the fire.

"Will do hunny bun, go have fantastic sex don't spare a thought for poor old me" Harry replied pulling a face.

Hermione flooed to Severus's rooms and then stuck her head back in the fire "Harry it's not late call him" she said before she was spun round and kissed ferociously by Severus. And dragged willingly to his bedroom.

A/N: Okay folks I hope you like this chapter, I certainly enjoyed writing it. I would have had it up sooner but my mouse broke mid week and then I had to watch numerous Alan Rickman films all in the name of research (I promise there was no perving *****looks around shiftily * okay I admit there was some drooling and feinting at the sound of his voice)

Please review and tell me what you think, I would love to hear what you think about movie night, next month will be sorts night if you haven't voted yet please check out the poll on my profile and make your views heard .Xx


	19. Instructions

**Staff behaving badly**

I own nothing, anything recognizable obviously doesn't belong to me and I promise to put it back once I've finished playing with it, everything written here is just for fun and not profit, although reviews are always welcomed.

This is set 5 years after the war and Hermione has been teaching transfiguration for the last 3 years and is head of Gryfindor, also on the staff are Harry (Quidditch) Sirius (Charms) and Remus (Dada) and obviously Potions is being taught by Severus.

I would just like to say a special thank you to all those of you who were kind enough to review, I dedicate this chapter to you. Warning: Smut dead ahead!

**Chapter 18.**

Severus was sat at the staff table in the great hall one lunchtime wondering where the hell Hermione was, she had said she would be here, but he'd been waiting for nearly forty five minutes now listening while Irma went on and on about children leaving their dirty fingerprints on perfectly harmless books.

"Irma you're a witch for fucks sake, can't you charm them clean or put a protection spell on them, and if you're that incompetent that you can't mange a simple charm ask someone who isn't, so you don't ruin anybody else's meal complaining about the dunderheaded students leaving marks on your precious books" He said rather nastily to the librarian

Irma's mouth opened and closed few times like a fish out of water before she ran off trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. Severus sat back in his chair grumpily not noticing Harry slide onto the chair next to him.

"Oh dear Severus, whatever will Minnie say when she finds out about you upsetting the staff again? Goodness knows how the staff coped with your moods before Hermione arrived to take the heat for your vicious tongue."

"I don't believe I asked for your opinion Harry"

"No you didn't, but here I am anyway giving it to you freely along with this drink." he pushed a slightly smoking goblet towards the potions professor "I'm told it's not deadly and you've to drink it before the end of lunch"

"And why would I want to drink something unknown to me and smoking for Merlin's sake do I look like a Gryfindor?"

Harry lent back "Drink it, don't drink it, Do I look like I give a flying fuck either way?, I'm just delivering a message for an old friend" he pushed the goblet further forward with his finger on the base highlighting the small white piece of paper underneath.

Severus ignored Harry and retrieved the piece of paper from beneath the goblet, opening it up he read it's contents while running his forefinger over the base of the goblet.

_I'm sorry for standing you up at lunch today, however it was necessary so I could get your classroom prepared for your 'Potions lesson' after lunch._

Severus frowned he had a free period after lunch, so did Hermione if he remembered correctly, what did she mean by 'potions lesson' he wondered, so he read on.

_It's not mandatory that you drink the liquid in front of you, I'm sure Harry's already told you it's not poisonous but it will help your lesson immensely._

_I look forward to your lesson with anticipation._

_H._

Then it dawned on him that Hermione had promised to re-enact one of her potions fantasies before the next fun night, wondering what she had planned he picked up the goblet and ran his wand over it a few times checking for poisons, when the spells came back negative he drank it down in one, surprised at it's fruity after taste.

Harry was still sat next to him "I'm impressed Severus I really didn't think you'd drink it, and with only minutes before the bell goes as well" He stood up and whispered just loud enough for Severus to hear "Have fun, Professor!." and walked off just as the bell for the next lesson went.

Eager to know just what his witch had in store for him he made his way quickly to his classroom, as he got closer he felt the potion take effect, it was somehow telling his senses what to expect and how he was supposed to act.

He opened the door to his potions classroom and was surprised to find Hermione sat in her Gryfindor uniform surrounded by her fellow classmates, only they weren't really there it was just a side effect of the potion.

Hermione quickly spoke "Severus I wanted us to act out my fantasy just as I imagined it, so the potion that you've drunk just allows you to see my fantasy like a pensive but lets you interact with it instead and the best about it is that it will encourage you to do the things that the Severus in my fantasy would."

Severus was impressed with her ingenuity and could feel himself hardening at the sight of her shirt straining across her rather ample chest, the fact that her skirt was practically bordering on indecent made his mouth dry. "Is that your actual uniform Hermione or did you steal it off a first year?"

Hermione smirked and sent him a little wink "It's my uniform Professor, I was hexed in the corridor while my back was turned, please may I have permission to go and change... Sir."

"No Miss Granger you may not, fifty points from Gryfindor for being improperly dressed" he sneered at the room as he waved his wand at the blackboard "You have thirty minutes to complete this potion starting now."

Sitting at his desk he had a very good view of Hermione who was sat right in front of him, her legs slightly parted under her desk showing him her lack of knickers and the fact that she was excited by this just as much as he was, the proof was glistening on her creamy thighs. Looking round the room he was amazed to see the semi transparent students carrying on as if it was an actual lesson.

Hermione was studying something in her textbook intently and he could feel the potion making him stand up, walk over to her desk and loom over it causing her to shiver at his closeness.

"What is so interesting in your schoolbook Miss Granger that forces your attention away from your cauldron?" he asked in a dangerously quiet voice.

"I was just making sure I had followed the instructions correctly Sir."

"Do you follow every instruction in your text book?" he asked tapping his wand on her schoolbook lightly.

"Oh yes Professor, I always follow instructions"

His gaze was lingering on her breasts "Well I think you should recheck your instructions as you have omitted a very vital step, ten points from Gryfindor for being careless."

Hermione hid a grin by looking at her textbook again. Stir three times anti clockwise before adding crushed beetle wings, _undo your top three buttons and part your legs even more, _and then stir clockwise three times. Shifting discretely in her seat she parted her legs and undid the buttons on her shirt.

Severus stalked around the classroom as if he was in a normal lesson, before returning to his desk to feast his eyes on the delectable view in front of him, his cock was straining in his pants, but he could feel that her fantasy wasn't finished yet . He watched transfixed as her hand reached below the table and started to rub her glistening wet pussy slowly up and down.

"Having observed your absolutely dismal efforts at dicing dried shrivelled Hellebore roots, I expect you all to pay attention to the class know it all as she comes up here and shows you all how to do it correctly" he sneered. "Well get a move on Miss Granger, unless you want me to deduct more points."

Hermione quickly stood up and went joined him on his side of the desk, her juices rubbing on her thighs making them slippery.

He congratulated himself for having such a large desk as the top of it was level with Hermione's waist hiding the lower half of her body and his hands from the rest of the class . "Well what are you waiting for, an introduction? Get on with it, and don't forget to explain what you are doing is that understood?"

"Yes Professor. First make sure that your knife is razor sharp and that the root is securely pinned to your chopping board."

He tapped the inside of her thighs with a cold metal stirrer causing her to part her legs in a shoulder wide stance and began to rub the bulbous end of the rod up and down her clit, pausing every so often just to push it inside her.

"Keeping the blade at a forty five degree angle start to slice the root away from your body, remembering to slice every two milli...metres" she forced herself to concentrate as his fingers replaced the stirrer.

Severus smirked at her intake of breath when he'd replaced the stirrer with his fingers, his cool collected witch was starting to lose control, slowly pumping two of his fingers in and out of her hot core.

"Next turn the sliced roots at a ninety degree angle and slice again every two millimetres, if done correctly you will end up with your root in lots of little squares." She put her knife down carefully on the chopping board and gripped the edge of the table tightly as she felt her orgasm send tremors through out her body.

Hermione waved her hand and the rest of the classes occupants disappeared leaving her and Severus alone, turning to face him she glanced down at his raging hard on and licked her lips. "Is there something else I could help you with Professor?, we have fifteen minutes before the bell goes."

He knocked the chopping board to the floor and bent her over his desk, the sight of her pert arse on show made his cock twitch, "Fuck Hermione, I've wanted to do this since I walked in the room" he placed his dick at the entrance of her hole and pushed in firmly up to the hilt before withdrawing and then doing it again harder.

"Ohhh...Fuck, Yes!" she moaned repeatedly, grateful she'd placed a locking and silencing charm on the room.

It didn't take them long before Hermione and Severus orgasmed at the same time, and were just catching their breath when a thought occurred to Severus "If this is what you were thinking about in my lessons, how on earth did you actually learn anything?"

She stood up and smoothed her skirt down, before transfiguring it into something a little more suitable for teaching. "Honestly, I'd read all the textbooks before hand just so I could spend the lesson focussing on you."

She gave him a cheeky grin just as the bell went "I'd sort your robes out Severus if I were you, otherwise it'll be a biology lesson your next class receives not potions" and flounced out of the room leaving a slightly flustered Potions master in her wake.

Severus quickly adjusted his robes to disguise his semi hard cock that was still visible in his trousers and chuckled at his witches rather deviant fantasy, not that he didn't have quite a few of his own up his sleeve and he couldn't wait to try them out with her.

As he waited for his next class to arrive a note appeared on his desk from the headmistress.

_Severus,_

_There had better be a good explanation as to why you saw fit to deduct sixty points from Gryfindor even though you had a free period, or find a way to add them again by the end of the day._

_Minerva Mcgonagal_

_Headmistress_

"Sixty points to Gryfindor for having a Know it all as their head of house." he muttered as his next class ambled in and took his mind off the sexy young witch for a couple of hours.

A/N: Severus assures me that he apologised for being so rude to Irma at the start of this chapter, it's just that he didn't like being stood up by Hermione.

Harry says his excuse for being a bit off is that he's sexually frustrated and wants to know when I'm going to hook him up with his very own 'Rocky' complete with blonde hair and skimpy gold trunks.

Harry: Why is Hermione having all the fun?

Me: Because this story is mainly about her and Severus.

Harry: But that's not fair! (His green eyes glistens with tears and his bottom lip quivers.)

Me: *Rolls eyes at such blatant emotional blackmail* If I promise you some action in the next chapter will you stop making that ridiculous face?

Harry: Yes, oh great one.

Me: *sighs resignedly* Fine next chapter you will get your man, okay?

Harry:*runs off excitedly doing a victory dance singing I need a Hero*

Sorry you had to witness that folks but he is just too darn cute to resist when he makes that face.

Please review and tell me what you think of this chapter or I'll send Harry round with his puppy dog expression to badger you till you do. Xx


	20. The tears of a Dragon

**Staff behaving badly**

I own nothing, anything recognizable obviously doesn't belong to me and I promise to put it back once I've finished playing with it, everything written here is just for fun and not profit, although reviews are always welcomed.

This is set 5 years after the war and Hermione has been teaching transfiguration for the last 3 years and is head of Gryfindor, also on the staff are Harry (Quidditch) Sirius (Charms) and Remus (Dada) and obviously Potions is being taught by Severus.

I would just like to say a special thank you to all those of you who were kind enough to review, I dedicate this chapter to you.

**Chapter 19.**

Hermione slipped quietly out of her bed leaving Severus fast asleep, she'd grown accustomed to spending most nights with him either in his bed or hers. Looking at her bedside clock to check the time she decided to grab a quick shower while Severus was still asleep, once out of the shower she looked to see if he'd woken yet and found him sprawled across the bed as if claiming it for his own.

Walking over to her drawers she began to sing softly to her self "I don't look good in no Armani suits, no Gucci shoes or designer boots. I've tried the latest lines from A-Z but there's just thing that looks good on me". She opened her underwear drawer and selected a pair of Garfield boy shorts that she'd bought on a whim because they reminded her of Crookshanks and a plain black satin bra.

"The only thing I want, The only thing I need, The only thing I choose, The only thing that looks good on me is you" she sung whilst fastening her bra and walking over to her wardrobe, she grabbed her favorite pair of faded blue jeans and a black v neck t-shirt with white lettering on it which said _Don't you wish your teacher was hot like me?._ Pulling up her jeans she She continued singing "I'm not satisfied with Versace style, Put those patent leather pants in the circular file. Sometimes I think I might be looking good, but there's only one thingthat fits me like it should."

A voice from the bed made her stop singing and turn round with a huge smile on her face.

"You know if only one thing looks good on you, why are you out of bed and dressed? Besides where are you sneaking off to at this unearthly time on a Sunday?"

"Firstly my love it's nearly half ten, secondly you know that I spend Sundays chilling with Harry and as much as I'd love to crawl back into that bed and ravish you senseless Harry needs me more, I do believe we're going to walk down to Abe's have a long lazy lunch, get slightly drunk and have a good long chat about life and stuff."

Severus pouted "Only life and stuff?"

She smirked back at him and pulled her t-shirt over her head "Well I might brag how good you are in bed if we run out of subjects to talk about" While bending over to put her shoes on she felt two firm hands grab her hips and something hard poke her bottom.

"I'm sure Harry won't mind if you're a little late" he purred seductively slowly grinding his erection against her denim clad bottom.

Hermione wiggled against him as she stood up and lent back against his firm muscular chest, she moaned lightly as one hand opened her jeans, slipped inside her panties and began rubbing the sensitive bud of nerves between her moist damp lips, while his other hand snaked under her top cupping her breasts and rolling her erect nipples between his thumb and forefinger.

"Sev please, I don't want to keep Harry waiting" she voiced breathlessly.

Severus didn't reply, instead he placed little kisses down her neck ending with a little nip on her collarbone causing her knees to buckle, she turned round and brought his mouth down to hers in a passionate kiss.

"How can I say no when you're so good at persuading me?" she said smiling against his mouth.

"How indeed?" was his smug answer.

Before she got the chance to say anything else there was a knock on the door "Just a minute" she called out while pulling her t-shirt down and fastening her jeans.

"Severus put some clothes on please, as I'd hate for anyone to think that there was a basilisk on the loose and try to relieve you of one of my favorite appendages."

He arched an eyebrow and smirked "Well I'm not the head of Slytherin for nothing you know" and sauntered off to the bathroom.

Slipping her feet into a pair of flat shoes she opened her door to find Harry standing there holding a mug of strong tea which he handed to her.

"Is Severus up love? as I've got Draco practically in tears in the living room, apparently Marcus has left him for Oliver Wood"

"You go keep Draco company and I'll tell Severus that Draco's here." She closed the door and headed for the bathroom where she heard Severus singing in a soft baritone.

"Raven hair and ruby lips, sparks fly from her fingertips. Echoed voices in the night she's a restless spirit on a endless flight. Ooh-hoo Witchy woman see how high she flies, Ooh-hoo Witchy woman she got the moon in her eyes"

Hermione watched transfixed as Severus soaped his long lean body, she rested her hip against the sink as she waited for him to finish showering.

"I know you wanna love her, let me tell you brother she's been sleeping in the Devil's bed. And there's rumors going round, that someone's underground. She can lock you in the night until your skin turns red. Woo-hoo Witchy woman see how high she flies, Woo-hoo Witchy woman she got the moon in her eyes"

"I've heard you called many things my love, but the devil?" she asked rather amused as he turned the shower off and stepped out, droplets of water running down his chest.

"Well you've called me God quite a few times recently, it's the same thing really just a different perspective" he replied smirking as he took the towel she was offering him, "But that's besides the point, why didn't you join me instead of standing out here perving?"

She grinned at him "Apart from the fact I enjoy looking at your gorgeous body, I couldn't join you even if I wanted to, because Draco's in the living room heartbroken because apparently Marcus has run off with Oliver Wood."

Severus's smile faltered "Marcus has run off with that cocky little Gryfindor Wood?" he finished drying himself and quickly threw some clothes on before joining Harry and Draco in the living room.

Draco looked up at his Godfather, his face ashen "How could he do this to me?"

Severus sat down next to Draco and pulled him into a huge hug "Ssh little dragon, every thing's going to be alright I promise" he whispered comfortingly.

Hermione grabbed Harry's arm and dragged him into their little kitchen area to give the two men some privacy "You grab our coats, I'll make them a pot of tea and then we'll leave them in peace" she said a low tone that left Harry no room to argue.

Quickly making the tea she left a stasis charm on it, so it would still be warm for when they were ready to drink it, she spoke softly to Draco "Sweetie I'm going out now with Harry, stay here as long as you want"

"Please don't go on my account" Draco said quickly, looking horrified that he might be making her feel like she had to leave.

She smiled gently at him and drew him into a bear hug "Honestly I had a date with Harry anyway, if you feel up to it we'll be in the Hogs head for most of the day, you're more than welcome to join us"

Harry was waiting by the door when Hermione joined him, "Come on hun I'm starving, I haven't had breakfast yet" She moaned taking her coat from his outstretched hand and as if on cue her stomach rumbled loudly.

"What doesn't eating Severus fill you up then?" he said as he closed the door behind them, "Oww!.. Mia what was that for?" he asked, while rubbing his arm where Hermione had just punched him.

"If you need to ask maybe I should do it again?" she glared at him "Can you at least save the innuendo's till after we've eaten."

"Somebody's cranky this morning, did you not have your portion of Sevviebix" he said laughing as he ran down the corridor leaving Hermione to chase him.

They'd been sat in the Hogs head for a couple of hours when the discussion of Draco finally came up.

"What do I do Mia? I've had a crush on him for nearly three years now and in all that time he's gone from bad relationship to bad relationship not once giving me a second look, I could be so good to him"

Hermione placed her hand over his to stop him from ripping the label off his beer bottle "I know hun, and Draco does like you hun I know it. But the one thing you're not going to be is a rebound shag, he needs to get Marcus out of his system and then once he's done that we can get you the blond Adonis of your dreams."

"So O wise one, how do we get Marcus out of his system?" He asked draining the dregs out of his bottle.

"That's easy, we break up for easter next week and although we've still got the dreaded fun night to do. I suggest that we call Blaize, the twins and a few others and have a mad party like we used to do before we got old and boring." She stood up to go to the bar when a familiar Scottish accent caught her attention.

Turning round her worst fears were confirmed, Oliver Wood was stood at the bar talking to Abe like he hadn't a care in the world, luckily Harry hadn't noticed yet, so she cast a quick notice me not spell on Oliver and told Harry she was just nipping to the toilet.

Grabbing Oliver by the arm as she walked passed him, she dragged him into the girls toilet and locked the door, before rounding on him fiercely "What the fuck do you think you're up to Wood? Do you enjoy stealing other peoples boyfriends? "

The ex Gryfindor keeper looked shocked and stammered "I..I..I have no idea what you're going on about Hermione, I haven't stolen any body's boyfriend."

She folded her arms and glared at him "So it's not true that you've hooked up with Marcus Flint then?"

"No it's true I've been seeing Marcus for about a month now, but he told me he was single, I swear" he added quickly noticing Hermione's wand hand start to get twitchy.

She sighed "Look Oliver, Marcus had been in a relationship with Draco for the past six months until this morning when he turned round and told him that he was running off with you"

Oliver's face darkened "Marcus was cheating on me, I'm going to kill that low life, two faced, lying scumbag" he paced the ladies toilets muttering angrily to himself only pausing when Hermione placed a hand on his arm.

"Hermione please tell Draco that I had no idea that Marcus was with him and I'm truly sorry for causing him pain" he unlocked the door and quickly left the building not bothering even to say goodbye to Aberforth.

"I wouldn't like to be in Flint's shoes right now" she thought herself as she passed two elderly witches who were giving her a filthy look for being in the same bathroom as a wizard.

Buying a couple more beers she made her way back to Harry "You are not going to believe what I've just found out" she said passing him a bottle as she sat back down in her seat and proceeded to tell him all about her encounter with Oliver Wood.

Harry shook his head in amusement "How is it you've only been gone five minutes and yet you've managed to get more gossip than a sleepover in the girl's dorms?"

She laughed "It's a talent I guess, on a slightly more somber note I'm glad that Oliver didn't know about Draco because I really didn't want to hex him." She took a long swig of her beer before continuing "I'm not ashamed to admit that I ran a quick surface legilmens scan on him and he honestly had no idea."

Harry was absentmindedly stroking one of Bella's ears totally unprepared for the next thing Hermione said "So Harry when are you going to remove that tattoo from Severus's arm?"

He grinned apologetically "Sorry hun I'd completely forgotten about it I'll do it later, I'd probably better remove Sirius's at the same time, although I'm not giving up those photo's as you never know when you'll need some leverage in a potential blackmail situation. Speaking of Sirius and Remus didn't you say that you had some dirt on them the other day?"

She grinned evilly "If I'm right in my presumptions and I usually am, I think that our resident bachelors aren't going to be bachelors for very much longer" she lowered her voice and proceeded to tell him about what she'd observed at the last fun night

Harry was speechless "Sirius fancies Aurora, really?"

Hermione smirked and nodded her head over at the door "If you don't believe me cast a disillusionment charm over us and just watch the group of people who just walked in."

He cast the charm and turned in his seat to watch as Sirius, Remus, Aurora and Imogen took a quiet booth at the back of the pub almost away from prying eyes, but not too private as to cause suspicion "Fine I bow down to your superior brain power oh mighty one" he mocked. "So are we going to say hello or just sit here spying on our friends and co workers?"

She pretended to think about it "Well as it's your round I say we sit here for a little while longer just in case Severus and Draco decide to come down and find us" downing her bottle in one she settled back in her chair and looked at Harry expectantly, "Well what are you waiting for? Same again please and a bag of cheese and onion as well hun."

Shaking his head at his bossy friend he did as he was told, he came back with a double order and the two of them spent an enjoyable afternoon laughing at Sirius's chat up lines.

A/N: I'm sorry for the long update but life got in the way, I hit writers block, I got stuck reading a lot of excellent stories on here add all these together and you find me procrastinating, on the plus side I do have a number of other stories in the pipeline one being a Hogwarts/Labyrinth x-over another is a Remus/Hermione and the other is a Severus/Hermione, but I'm trying not to write them till I've finished this story.

Please review as it feeds my plot bunnies and the poor little things are starving Xx

Sirius: Just what is so funny about my amazing chat up lines?

Me: Nothing Sirius, it's just that they're a bit cheesy

Sirius: There is nothing cheesy about them I've used them since Hogwarts and they've never failed yet. Just listen to this one, it's a sure fired winner... Hello I'm a thief and I'm here to steal your heart.

Me:*Shakes head* All I can honestly say is that it's a good thing you're devilishly handsome Mr Black.

Sirius: If you lovely people would like to hear more of my fabulous chat up lines, all you have to do is review *grins cheekily and waggles his eyebrows*

Me: Stop pestering my lovely readers Sirius, go and find Remus maybe he needs your advice on chat up lines. *drools uncontrollably as that gorgeous bum in tight leather trousers leaves the room*


	21. Tails never fails

**Staff behaving badly**

I own nothing, anything recognizable obviously doesn't belong to me and I promise to put it back once I've finished playing with it, everything written here is just for fun and not profit, although reviews are always welcomed.

This is set 5 years after the war and Hermione has been teaching transfiguration for the last 3 years and is head of Gryfindor, also on the staff are Harry (Quidditch) Sirius (Charms) and Remus (Dada) and obviously Potions is being taught by Severus.

I would just like to say a special thank you to my fabulousBeta ScarletQuill, because without her guidance and regular beatings with her grammar stick my stories would be a damn sight poorer. Also the idea for having Severus' flag green was her idea, I originally was going to have it blue.

**Chapter 20.**

_**Polite Notice.**_

_**This months staff fun night will take place the day after the pupils have gone home for the holidays, the event is called Man Hunt. You will be placed in one of two teams and those of you who have been excluded from taking part for medical or age reasons you will participate by being judges.**_

_**To make up the numbers so that each team is equal in ability and numbers I have taken the liberty of drafting in a few extra players, below are the names of everyone who will be participating in the event. Please be aware that teams will be drawn at random on the day so to reduce the chances of any cheating.**_

_**The only thing I have decided in advance are the team captains.**_

_**Judges: M. McGonagal, F. Butler, R. Hagrid, S. Trelawney, P. Pomfrey, P. Sprout, I. Pince, B. Babbling and A. Filch.**_

_**Contestants: H. Potter, S. Black, R. Lupin, I. Vector, A. Sinistra, F. Weasley, G. Weasley, D. Malfoy, B. Zabini, Gin. Weasley, C. Weasley, P. Parkinson, N. Longbottom, L. Lovegood.**_

_**Team Leaders: **_

_**Red Team: H. Granger**_

_**Green Team: S. Snape**_

"The woman's completely nuts I tell you!" Declared Sirius loudly to the large group that had gathered on the Quidditch pitch.

"Thank you for your professional opinion Sirius, I shall make sure to remember that at your next evaluation." Minerva's soft Scottish dialect carrying clearly on the crisp morning air.

The crowd started laughing as Sirius started to say something back and stopped when the headmistress turned her infamous steely gaze on him.

"Hermione, Severus if you would both come to the front, the choosing of teams will begin." Minerva conjured up a large bowl filled with folded pieces of paper. "You will take turns in drawing names, to decide who goes first we shall flip a coin... Hermione head or tails?"

"Tails never fails." Hermione said as Minerva tossed the coin.

"Yes, I'd heard you were a fan of tails." Severus muttered slyly under his breath.

"Only big tails Severus, which rules you out." Hermione replied with a smirk.

"Well if that's the case Sweetheart I'd invest in a Basilisk if I were you because there's none bigger than me in these parts." Severus retorted.

Hermione turned and gave him an innocent smile as she said just loud enough for everyone to hear "Seen a lot of tails then Sevvie? Next time Harry and I go to the Pink Cauldron in Diagon Alley we must remember to keep an eye out for you, I sure Harry knows someone who likes dungeon bats."

Severus's eyes glittered with amusement at the banter that was going back and forth between them safe in the knowledge that none of what was said was meant with ill intent.

The coin Minerva had flipped had been spinning for an extraordinary amount of time, so long in fact that the headmistress looked round to see which of her staff was misbehaving, she didn't have to look very far as she instantly spotted Sirius looking guilty. "Sirius Black will you behave, for goodness sake" She said snapping at him "Sorry Hermione which side did you choose again?"

Hermione glanced over at Harry who gave her a wink. "Tails Headmistress."

Minerva lifted her hand and looked down at the coin in her palm "Tails it is, you get first pick" She said holding out the bowl.

Reaching in Hermione pulled out a thin strip of paper, unfolding it she read the words and grinned "Harry, it looks like you've made the winning side come on down."

Harry and Hermione bumped chests and laughed as they overheard Severus mutter the words "Typical, bloody fix."

"Sorry Severus did you say something?"Asked Harry with a knowing smirk brows raised expectantly.

"Not at all Harry just clearing my throat." Severus replied as he took a slip of paper from the bowl. "Great, I get the mutt on my team." He said sardonically.

Hermione called out Imogen's name next with Severus pulling out Draco's, after about ten minutes the bowl was empty and Minerva cleared her throat to get everybody's attention.

"Okay the teams are as follows, on the red team under Hermione there is Harry, Imogen, Aurora, Fred, Blaise, Charlie and Neville. And on the green team under Severus is Sirius, Draco, George, Remus, Ginny, Luna and Pansy, is there any questions?" Minerva asked.

"Yeah, just what is Man hunt?" Somebody yelled from the crowd.

Minerva gave them a cunning smile "I'm glad you asked, Man hunt is a muggle game where you and your team members have to hunt and find the other side before they find you, as an extra bonus who ever captures the opposite teams flag will win outright. The hunting ground will extend across the entire expanse of Hogwarts grounds, Pomona and Hagrid will be assisting me in transforming the grounds into a more suitable terrain, so captains you have one hour to get your strategies in order."

"One last thing before you leave, just in case there are some of you under the illusion that this will be easy with magic, think again Fitzwilliam, Bathsheba and Sybil will be casting a magic inhibitor ward over the grounds, the only spell you will be able to cast is a flare spell in case of emergencies. This is a muggle game you will play it like muggles, you will be transported to your base camp in one hour, these armbands I'm now going to give out will act as a portkey, I suggest you use your time wisely" Minerva rounded up her speech by handing out red and green coloured armbands to the right people before leaving them to their own devices.

"You're going down Bats" Mocked Hermione in a singsong voice, a cheeky grin tugging at her lips.

Severus raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms in front of his chest "You think so little girl? I fail to see how you came to that conclusion."

She flashed him a superior smile "I work hard, I play hard..." she dropped her voice to almost a whisper as she walked past him "And I fuck hard..." raising her voice back to normal pitch "In fact I bet you a month of Hogsmeade duties, if I win... you and the rest of the teachers on your team will cover mine and Harry's weekends and if I lose we shall cover yours."

"You can throw our weekends in to the deal as well Hermione, no offence Harry but we're not letting those arrogant males otherwise known as Sirius and Remus win either." Declared Imogen and Aurora passionately.

Sirius and Remus chuckled "Take the bet Severus, it's going to be a walk in the park."

The rest of the witches and wizards gathered round their team captains each cheering and booing the opposite team.

"Well Severus are you in? Or are you afraid of being beaten by a little Gryfindor girl?" Hermione taunted.

Severus locked his black eyes with hers and smirked "Bring it girly."

Hermione rolled her eyes at him before bellowing at her team mates "Okay Red team it's time to go, let's give our opponents time and space to consider their imminent defeat." She marched the red team off in direction of the boat house, She high fived Harry before turning round and blowing Severus a cheeky kiss in mock salute.

Once safely in the boathouse Hermione took a small box from her pocket and after enlarging it she proceeded to take wrapped bundles out and hand them to the members of her team.

"Right I want you lot suited and booted in ten minutes." She said stripping off her outer layers before slipping on a pair of army standard camouflage trousers and matching jacket over her black leggings and tight khaki coloured t-shirt.

"Cara, You know I don't normally question your fashion style, but just what are these god awful garments you're wanting us to put on?" Questioned Blaise holding up his pair of black army boots disdainfully between his finger and thumb.

"Blaise my darling, Manhunt is a muggle game and to win we shall dress like muggles, act like muggles and have muggle equipment. Minerva has placed an anti magic field over the playing field which will allow muggle technology to work better than it does normally. I want you to work in pairs because it's easier to be invisible if you're a smaller target." Hermione answered as she bent down to fasten her laces.

Standing up she saw that everyone had followed her instructions and had dressed in their uniforms "Excellent, okay guys I need you to pair up and once you've done that I'm going to give each of you the names of people on the opposite team I want you to look out for and focus on according to your own strengths and weaknesses. Harry you're with me we'll be going after Severus and Draco." Hermione walked along the short line looking at the pairs and making notes on her clipboard.

Fred gave her a salute and stood to attention "Permission to speak Ma'am?"

Hermione look up from her notes and smiled "Go ahead Private Weasley."

"Will we have a way to communicate with each other? Normally I'd suggest our Weasley extendable ears mark three but the lack of magic renders them useless." Fred said looking smug at his idea.

"I knew there was a reason I liked you Fred, you're a sneaky git but in answer to your question yes I'm going to fit you with a two way ear piece that will allow you to talk and respond to everybody else in the group, Harry hand them out please." She took the small device and positioned it over her ear so that the tiny microphone stuck out just next to her mouth.

"Right listen up people I'm only going to say this once as we've only got about ten minutes left." Hermione barked at them once they'd all mastered their ear pieces. "Aurora, Imogen your marks are Remus and Sirius and your code names are Foxylady and Starchild, do you copy that?"

"Ma'am, yes Ma'am" They said copying Fred' words from earlier.

"Fred, Blaise your marks are George and Ginny, code names are Thing One and Romeo, do you copy?"

"Ma'am, yes Ma'am" They shouted with matching grins.

"And last but not least Neville and Charlie your marks are Luna and Pansy, code names the Botanist and Dragontamer, do you copy?" she asked for a final time.

"Ma'am, yes Ma'am"

"And just so you know Harry's codename is Bolt and mine is Snakecharmer, I've assigned you these marks because Severus is a sneaky SOB and we have to be ready for anything, however if you're in position to take down somebody else's mark do it and let everybody else know... Actually I've just had a thought Neville, Charlie I want you on flag duty at the base DO NOT let our flag get captured...ARE WE CLEAR?" she shouted.

"MA'AM, YES MA'AM!" Her troops chorused as one voice.

The red armbands began to glow before transporting them into a large wooded area that had a red flag tied to a three foot pole in small clearing.

"Okay starting with Foxylady and Starchild I want each team except Botanist and Dragontamer who are to remain here, to leave in different directions with a gap of five minute intervals...Remember keep radio silence unless absolutely necessary... Good luck and when we win the drinks are on me."

Each team silently left in separate directions with Harry and Hermione heading in a northerly direction.

"Come H, when did you get all this organised?" Harry whispered as they crept through the undergrowth.

"When have I ever done something without extensively planning for it?" She whispered back.

"You went for a ride on Severus' one eyed snake without planning for it, although alcohol was the underlying factor in that decision." He said slyly quickly dodging out of the range of Hermione's half hearted slap.

"Piss off you cheeky sod, besides there's a lot more riding on this than Hogsmeade duties." Hermione grabbed Harry's arm and pulled him down to the floor, quickly shushing him with a finger to his lips.

Harry frowned, but Hermione just shook her head and mouthed the words "George and Ginny" pointing at a group of trees just to the east of them. Once Hermione had decided that the area was clear she stood up brushing some moist soil off her knees.

"Harry I need to know the layout of the land, can you shin up that tree while I get on the headset to the rest of the troops?" She asked helping him up.

"Will do...So are you going to tell me the rest of your devious plans?" Grunted Harry while climbing up the nearest large tree.

"Ssh! Harry, This is Snakecharmer with an all troop broadcast, it looks like the greens have split up into smaller factions as well, George and Ginny have just past my location and are heading towards the quidditch pitch, is there anyone in that location..Over."

"Snakecharmer this is Thing one, we have them in our sights we're currently under a large bush they're heading our way...Over."

"This is Snakecharmer to Thing One and Romeo do not reveal your position unless you're positive of the capture...Over"

"SnakeCharmer, this is FoxyLady, we're happy to report that the green team are now down two members...Over"

"Foxylady that is music to my ears, who did you capture?...Over" Hermione exchanged thumbs up signs with Harry.

"Snakecharmer, this is Starchild we took out Pansy and Luna the stupid nits were just wandering aimlessly talking rather loudly, I think it was too easy...Over"

"Shit!" Swore Hermione as she realised Severus's plan "Foxylady, Starchild get out of there now...Move it, it's a trap...Don't report in till your safe and whatever happens do not allow them the headsets...Over"

After a tense ten minutes Hermione breathed again as she heard Aurora's soft voice come through her earpiece.

"Snakecharmer this is Starchild, that was a close one, we've just had to leg it from Sirius and Remus, which involved us having to wade down some stream that Minerva's put in just so they'd lose the scent...over."

"Good work Starchild, if you can I want you to cross back and forth at that stream a couple more times at different places just to confuse them even more...Over"

"Psst, I think we need to move, I saw movement in the trees to the east of us" Harry hissed hanging from his fingertips as the branch began to creak ominously.

"Okay Monkey boy jump down and we'll head in a north westerly direction towards the lake...This is Snakecharmer to everyone Bolt and I are going silent for a short while, keep me informed of any updates...over."

Hermione and Harry slowly made their way silently through the thick bushes for almost half an hour before Hermione spoke "In the answer to your earlier question, the private stakes we're playing for is who gives who a strip tease to a song of the winners choice.." she paused and flashed Harry an evil smirk "I am not going to lose because I want to watch him take all his clothes off to Love Man by Otis Redding."

Harry pretended to retch "You're a sick, sick bunny, you know that...In fact I think I may have to obliviate myself to get that image out of my head. I would ask who thought this bet up but on second thoughts I really don't want to know." He chuckled.

"Snakecharmer this is Dragontamer speaking, thanks to Botanists amazing ability with plants we've managed to capture Remus and Sirius as they tried to get the flag."

"Botanist here, apparently some of Hogwarts native plants recognised me from our school days and wanted to help, they're currently being held by a slightly less dangerous cousin of Devils Snare." Neville laughed evilly "It won't kill them but it'll be a hug they won't forget in a hurry."

"Botanist you're an effing Legend mate." Fred contributed over the airway.

"Well done Botanist, a bottle of your favourite tipple will find it's way into your inbox...Thing one we're not deaf and I'd rather it stayed that way...Rightio folks we're on the home stretch now, I'd like everyone to head back to base keeping an eye out for Ginny and George...I don't know how Severus is communicating with his lot, but he's a sneaky bastard and we need to remember that...Over."

Hermione and Harry sniggered as all of Severus's ex students said exactly the same thing "Understatement of the year that."

"Oh and Botanist make sure none of your babies eat members of my team please, thank you."

"Roger that Snakecharmer, on a personal note make sure you really torment Snape when we beat him and we'll call it even on the alcohol...Over."

"Botanist this is Bolt, Don't you worry about Hermione riding Snape hard because it's one of her favourite past times, she gives him as good as she gets, giving him a good tongue lashing but on the other hand Snape does give her a mouthful back." Teased Harry ignoring the 'You are dead meat' look coming from Hermione.

"Harry shut up and keep a look out." Hermione told him firmly "Everybody, Bolt and I will be running on silent for a short while, keep me informed of all updates...Good luck guys and hopefully the next time we see each other we'll be victorious."

"Very rousing speech that Hermione, up there with Churchill that one was."

"Sod off Harry, you sarcastic git." Hermione retorted, though her voice lacked any real animosity towards him.

Hermione and Harry crept steadily forwards circling around the castle close to the forbidden forest, stopping only when they heard a pair of familiar voices coming from the clearing just ahead of them, crouching down they crawled the last couple of yards silently so they could get a better view of what the layout was.

"Why are we just sat here, it's just so bloody boring." Huffed Draco stretching his arms and flexing his muscles.

"Because Draco, I have no desire to go traipsing through that godforsaken hell hole which was probably dreamt up by Pomona while partaking in her special herbs, when I know full well that the prize I most desire shall ultimately come to me." Severus replied taking a swig from a small silver hip flask before offering it to his Godson.

"Do I even want to know?...scratch that, I don't want to know EVER what you and Hermione do for kicks." Draco said pulling a disgusted face "Although I thought it was rather interesting that Hermione ended up with two of her former lovers on her team and apparently they rate very high on her list." A sly smirk appearing on Draco' face as Severus turned sharply to look at him.

"What list? And how many are on it." He snapped.

Draco rolled his eyes "Oh please! Everyone has a list be it written down or in their heads on where people rate in bed...On my list unfortunately the bastard who won't be named is at the top, Harry's was some bloke he met during his travels, he doesn't talk about it much though, as for Hermione it's Charlie and Blaise...She didn't have them at the same time you idiot." He added seeing Severus' face darken with a scowl quicker than Filch could stroke his pussy.

"And how do you know all this Mister Information?" Questioned the Potions master.

Draco laughed at the memory "For goodness sake Uncle it was a very drunken game of truth or dare after one of our T.M.O.M.D parties, there's a reason we only hold them twice a year and during the holidays that one you saw briefly at the manor was tame compared to what they're normally like...Three day hangovers usually even with potions."

"So why had nobody even heard of them till recently?"

"Because they started out as underground parties, muggle raves almost and at the time everybody needed to feel young and alive again." Draco stated simply shrugging his shoulders.

"Talking about parties Draco, I couldn't help but notice that you kept grabbing Harry's hands at the New Years eve party."

"I have no idea what you're implying, but me and Harry are just mates." Said a slightly pink faced Draco firmly.

"Dear, oh dear Draco when will you learn that you can lie to family, friends, strangers and have them believe every word that comes out of your mouth, you may even try to kid yourself that you believe those ridiculous words you've just spouted. But do me a favour and remember that you've got a snowballs chance in hell of pulling a fast one over me" Severus drawled.

"You promised you wouldn't use Legilmency on me." Draco said accusingly.

Severus laughed his low baritone voice sending thrills up Hermione's spine "I don't need to spy into your head to know your feelings boy, there are times you look like a love sick puppy always running around after him, you'd do better to tell him how you feel instead of shacking up with deadbeats."

"Think what you want to think Uncle but Harry and I are JUST mates, I'm going for a piss just beyond those trees, we will not be discussing this subject when I come back."

Hermione motioned to Harry to sneak off after Draco, after checking to see where about the flag was in proximity to Severus and thanking her lucky stars after seeing that if she hung upside down off a thick overhanging branch she'd be able to reach it hopefully without alerting her man.

Creeping towards the tree Hermione slipped off her boots and her outer layers because she knew from past experience that she climbed trees best as unencumbered as possible, feeling her way like a cat. She shinned up the tree grateful for the thick wide branches, it wouldn't do her ego any good to have the branch break under her.

When she was sure she was over the large green flag, she sat with her back to it so that when she swung down backwards she'd be able to see it clearly. After checking that the branch was held firmly by her knees she let go and allowed gravity to help her swing towards her goal.

Her fingers were just in reach when she heard Draco telling Severus say that he'd been caught and that he was walking back up to the castle because he was dying for a cuppa.

"Idiotic imbecile can't even relieve himself without getting caught." Grumbled Severus to himself.

Hermione grabbed the flag with a triumphant grin "You know Lover they say talking to yourself is a sign of madness." She said still hanging upside down.

"Finally woman, I've been waiting for you for ages, Draco has a tendency to waffle for England although I did hear a rather interesting bit of information about you today." He said taking the flag from her hands and jabbing it back in the ground.

"Oh...and what would that be?" She enquired while swinging her body just enough so that she could grab the branch and pull herself up.

"Nothing much really, just something about your little black book and the numbers you assign your lovers regarding their sexual prowess." He watched nervously as she balanced precariously on the branch sitting with her back against the trunk "How is it you won't get on a broom? But you can quite happily clamber about that tree like a howler monkey."

She smirked and patted the thick branch she was sat on "This beautiful thing is strong, dependable and firmly rooted in the ground I know that it's arms are more than able to hold my weight, therefore the only thing to make me tumble to the ground would be my own stupidity. A broom is a thin stick enchanted to fly hundreds of feet in the air and you say I'm mental." She slid off the branch and landed in a neat crouch before him.

"How long do you think we have before they start looking for us?" She asked eyeing his tall lean form hungrily as he helped her up.

His eyes darkened "Just what did you have in mind? Bear in mind that your prize is for your eyes only and will not be done where the weather can seriously affect the outcome, even the most well endowed man can be put to shame by the cold."

Hermione burst out laughing at his serious tone "Lighten up Severus, I'm talking about a little fun before going back to the castle." Her voice dropped to a seductive purr "I want to confirm your boast that there's an anaconda and not a grass snake being held in place by these sinfully tight trousers." Her fingers grazed over the prominent bulge before cupping it firmly.

"It certainly feels to be as large as you claim but just to make sure it needs to be checked visually."

Severus bit his lip in pleasure as Hermione dropped to her knees in front of him, undoing the button on his pants and slowly pulled down the zipper before pushing his trousers down.

"Naughty, naughty Severus going commando, was there a problem with your laundry?" She teased.

"Well unfortunately I went to my drawers this morning and that all of my underwear had vanished, I just can't understand what could've happened to them." He looked down and gave her a knowing look.

"How unfortunate but I'm not complaining, however it does look like there's been some chafing just here." She pointed to the base of his penis "It definitely needs to be kissed better." She lowered her head and placed the barest of kisses on the base. "Does it hurt anywhere else?"

Severus nodded "The tip seems to be in need of some assistance, and the shaft requires some hands on healing, but go slowly but firmly." His voice was thick with desire.

Hermione gripped his cock just above the thick nest of black curls, her thumb and middle finger barely meeting, she followed his instruction to the letter slowly pumping up and down, her tongue swirled round the head alternating it with little nibbles and kisses.

Severus let out an incoherent moan as Hermione replaced her hands with her greedy mouth, she dug her nails into his firm arse knowing that it drove him wild, she sucked him harder and faster moaning in pleasure as his long fingers wrapped around her ponytail urging her on.

"That's it my delicious man come for me, I love being the one to make you lose control." She told him in her head with a final grunt Severus came hard, his seed spurting in her mouth, she swallowed it whole savouring the unique taste that was wholly Severus. When he was fully spent Hermione released him from her mouth with a little pop, discretely wiping away the saliva that had accumulated on her chin she pulled his trousers up gently tucking him back in and carefully fastening his zip and button.

"I don't deserve you." He murmured as he pulled her firmly against him in a tight hug.

"What utter rot you silly man." She clasped his face gently and forced him to look at her "In case you hadn't noticed but I'm rather taken with you and don't you forget it."

Severus captured her mouth in what was a sweet lingering kiss till Hermione had other ideas and decided to deepen it.

They were completely oblivious to the world around them till they heard a polite cough interrupting them, reluctantly breaking apart they looked to see Aurora and Imogen standing there looking extremely amused.

"Oh don't mind us we were waiting for the floor show." They said snickering.

"I don't think I need to remind you of the unwritten staff code ladies, I mean we all have secrets that we wouldn't want the headmistress finding out till we're ready for it" Hermione replied with her arms still wrapped firmly around Severus not letting him move.

"We're only teasing girl, your sordid escapades are your business only." Aurora hastened to say when she saw the challenging look in Hermione's eyes.

Before anything else could be said they saw Minerva's patronus pad silently into the clearing "With the capture of the green flag Hermione's team have won, all of the anti magic fields have been lifted if you would all like to make your way to the great hall lunch is served." The cat flicked it's tail at the small group before bounding away.

Severus placed a brief kiss on the top of Hermione's head, whispering in her ear that he'd see her later and quickly disapparated away leaving the three women alone.

They walked in companionable silence up to the castle until Imogen asked the question that she'd been dying to ask for ages.

"So is it sordid Hermione?"

Hermione frowned not understanding the question.

"You know, your business with Bats." Imogen clarified waggling her eyebrows.

The trio paused before the doors of the great hall.

"Oh hell yeah! The man is phenomenal in the sack and before you ask, yes the answer the rumours are true...There is a basilisk lose in the castle.

"Well at least that clears up the mystery behind today's codename then" Aurora commented dryly.

All three witches cackled loudly with laughter as they pushed open the heavy doors, tears were pouring down their faces only stopping when they realised everyone was staring at them.

"Sssorry private jokess" Imogen said hissing on the letter s, which made the three witches burst out laughing again clutching each other for support.

"Well when you've quite finished if you could take your seats we're waiting for you so we can start lunch." Chastised Minerva.

"Sorry Minerva." They mumbled quickly sitting in the three remaining seats, not looking at each other until they saw big piles of sausages appear on the tables and started sniggering again.

A/N: I haven't forgotten about their little side bet it will be addressed in the next chapter, Draco' a stubborn little bugger isn't he? He just won't admit his feelings even to his God father, I may have to let Harry take matters into his own hands.

Quick question, hands up all those who'd like to see Severus dress like a cowboy in the next chapter? I'm talking the works, Severus looking like a bad guy from a western movie.

Hope you enjoy the chapter.

Much Love

Her Royal Goddess Xx


	22. You can leave your hat on

**Staff behaving badly**

I own nothing, anything recognizable obviously doesn't belong to me and I promise to put it back once I've finished playing with it, everything written here is just for fun and not profit, although reviews are always welcomed.

This is set 5 years after the war and Hermione has been teaching transfiguration for the last 3 years and is head of Gryfindor, also on the staff are Harry (Quidditch) Sirius (Charms) and Remus (Dada) and obviously Potions is being taught by Severus.

I would just like to say a special thank you to my fabulous Beta ScarletQuill, because without her guidance and regular beatings with her grammar stick my stories would be a damn sight poorer.

**Chapter 21.**

Hermione glanced worriedly at Harry across the lunch table, to everybody he sounded perfectly normal but she knew better his laughter just seemed too forced and brittle, his eyes were shiny and there was the slight shimmer of a glamour over his face.

Severus on the other hand was frowning at his Godson, he seemed a little off with everyone at the table, of course his manners were impeccable but something wasn't right with him and Severus just couldn't put his finger on what it was.

"So it's decided then we're all going to meet up at the Buffalo Ranch tonight at eight and remember it's a Western themed bar so no costume no entry." Blaise said standing up and pushing his chair away from the table, the decision for the evening made.

"I for one can't wait, the thought of all that fresh meat to try is positively mouth watering, you'll be my wing man won't you Draco? After all that's what mates do for each other isn't it? And while we're at it maybe we can find you someone new..." Harry raised his glass in toast to Draco "Here's to being young free and single."

"Harry mate, you okay?" Asked Sirius, his brows crinkled and frowning slightly in confusion, at his Godsons odd change in behaviour.

"Of course I am...I've decided on a new philosophy that's all, if you can't get over them, get under someone new." Declared Harry downing what was left of his pumpkin juice like it was a shot and slamming his glass on the table.

"I didn't realise you were seeing anybody Harry."Draco stated giving him a sharp look.

Harry snorted "I'm not, but I'm fed up of waiting for Mr Right to realise that I'd be so good for him, so I'm going to settle for Mr Right now and often."

"Oh shit!" Thought Hermione, after wiping her mouth with her napkin she stood up. "Harry I need a new outfit for tonight and you promised to go shopping with me, are you ready to go?"

Harry gave her a grateful smile at her interference and nodded his head in agreement.

"If it's underwear shopping I'll quite gladly offer my assistance and opinion Kitten." Smirked Sirius with a lavish wink.

"Over my dead body Mutt." Severus thought angrily, his knuckles turning white as he held his goblet in a death grip. He needn't of worried about Hermione's reaction as she gave him one her trademark sassy comebacks.

"Aww really Sirius? That is so sweet of you, maybe you could take me to that place where you got that delightful peekaboo bra I saw you wearing the other day...You know pink lace is just SOO your colour! Although on second thoughts I think that shop only caters for Wizards with certain kinks." She batted her eyelashes at him.

"Sirius and Hermione I hardly think that your conversation is suitable for the lunch table, please desist in lowering the tone." Snapped Minerva in a mother hen, disapproving tone.

"Sorry Minerva, by the way today was great it made a real change to play a muggle game, however next time we should play it in the dark, it's even better for team building." Hermione suggested.

Imogen and Aurora laughed heartily as they noticed the naughty twinkle in her eyes.

"But Hermione don't snakes come out in the dark." Asked Aurora having to bite her lip to stop her laughter.

Hermione gave them a cheeky grin "Of course they do ladies, but only if they've been good little snakes." And waggled her eyebrows for good measure, setting her colleagues laughing again.

"Come on Mia before Minnie skins you alive." Harry said grabbing her arm and practically dragging her away from Minerva's stern frown.

The two friends walked down to the apparition point and apparated directly to Madam Malkin's shop.

"So why are we here again? I thought you'd decided on what you were wearing yesterday." Harry asked as he held the door open for her.

"Oh I do, but I'm not shopping for me." At his quizzical look she continued. "Do you really think Severus has anything in his wardrobe apart from black jeans that remotely resembles Western cowboy?"

"No, I suppose not, he only came as Zorro because he could dress in black and be as plain as possible..." Harry went a deathly shade of white. "Oh God is this a sex thing Hermione?"

"Well not initially but it fitted in with my bet, Severus is less likely to say no if everyone is dressed like an idiot, besides the look I've got planned for him will suit his snarky persona rather well. So are you going to tell me what went on between you and Draco on the walk back up to the castle or do I have to guess?"

"Won't be a moment dearies, just make yourself comfortable." Madam Malkin called out from the little room at the back of the shop.

"Draco just said that Severus has some mad idea that apparently he's got a thing for me, not before adding and I quote 'Preposterous notion right Harry? Who on earth would think that we could be lovers, you're my best mate.' end fucking quote, I've got more chance of growing wings and flying than dating Draco" Harry said bitterly.

"What did you say to him?" She asked rubbing his arm sympathetically.

"What was I supposed to say? Sorry Draco I can't be your mate because I want to love you and hold you and fuck you senseless for the rest of our natural lives till we're both too old to get it up. I'm a selfish bastard with masochistic tendencies Hermione, I'd rather have him in my life all be it as a mate than not have him in it at all." Harry' eyes glimmered with unshed tears.

"You didn't answer my question Harry." She said softly, a look of understanding on her face.

Harry chuckled darkly "I did what I normally do, I blamed you...I said you'd probably screwed him that much you'd fried his brains...Sorry."

Hermione playfully punched his arm and then gave him a fierce tight hug "You're a wally Harry but I love you."

"Sorry to keep you waiting Professor Granger I have your order ready to go, that'll be eighty nine galleons, fifty two sickles and seventy one knuts including tax." Madam Malkin told her handing over a shrunken box.

"It has everything I required?" Hermione asked whilst rummaging around in her bag for her Gringotts bank card.

"Of course and may I just say that I handled your order myself, no one else in the shop knows whose measurements were needed for the order."

Hermione finally found her card and gave the seamstress a beaming smile "And that Madam Malkin is why I prefer your services to any other dress shop, it would honour me if you would round the total price up to hundred galleons for your speedy service of course."

"Many blessing on you for your generosity." The older witch said as she rung through the sale "Oh and Professor Potter, Hogwarts new quidditch robes will be delivered just before the start of term." The shop bell tinkled indicating the arrival of a new customer. "If you'll both excuse me it's been a busy day." Madam Malkin handed Hermione back her bank card and a receipt of sale.

Hermione thanked her, hooked her arm through Harry's and let him escort her out of the shop both bowing politely to the new customers as they left.

"Where to now handsome?" Hermione asked brightly.

"Quite frankly I couldn't give a shit as long as it serves alcohol and doesn't have anyone blond in there." He replied shivering as a gust of wind blew down the high street, snuggling deeper into his robes.

"The Hogs head it is then unless Bella reminds you of Draco." Hermione said nudging him with a smile.

"Nah, if I was to compare Bella to anyone it'd be Ron...both of them will eat anything if it's still long enough." He dead panned back causing them both to crack up laughing at the image of Ron eating a tablecloth.

Severus was contemplating what to wear for that nights get together, for some godforsaken reason it'd been decided that they were all going to his idea of hell...A themed bar, for Merlin's sake what was wrong with a nice quiet drink down at Aberforth's or if necessary maybe a nightclub... but a Western themed bar? He shuddered at the thought. Normally he wouldn't step within a hundred feet of the place but an extremely heated look off his Witch, which held promises of undisclosed desires persuaded him otherwise.

He was just standing staring into his wardrobe hoping for some inspiration when one of the younger Hogwarts house elves popped into his rooms.

"Begging's your pardon Master Snape's buts Mistress Granger asked me to deliver this to you." The little elf handed Severus a large silver box which had a silver ribbon tied round it and popped back out again it's task completed, leaving Severus to open it in peace.

Severus quickly undid the ribbon and lifted the lid to find a rolled piece of parchment tied with another green ribbon. "Just what was Hermione's fascination with ribbons anyway?" He mused to himself as he unrolled the scroll.

_Hello Lover,_

_It would please me greatly if you would wear the items in this box tonight, I know you don't 'do' dressing up but you know that I wouldn't make you do anything embarrassing...At least I hope you do._

_I PROMISE to make it worth your while tonight when we get home from the bar._

_Always Yours_

_Hermione Xx_

_P.S. Don't throw away the ribbons I may need them later. Xx_

Severus sighed as if he could refuse his Witch anything when even her words on a piece of parchment gave him a semi. He reached in and removed each item placing them on his bed, a small smirk playing on his lips when he realised the recurring colour scheme was black.

Giving himself one last look in the mirror he actually smiled at his reflection, the look Hermione had chosen for him actually worked, he had tied his hair back with a leather thong and his black felt Cowboy hat was dipped low over his eyes making him look as dangerous as he ever did, he felt comfortable in the black jeans which when teamed with the black shirt and waistcoat suited his slim frame. He figured as Hermione hadn't supplied him with boxers that she required him to go without because there was even black socks to wear under the black cowboy boots which were made of the softest leather he'd ever felt, the charms that Madam Malkin had placed on them allowed him to pull them on without the need of a boot jack. But the crowning glory in the whole ensemble was a long black duster coat...It fitted him perfectly and still allowed him his natural flair for walking, it unnerved him a tiny bit to know that Hermione knew him so well that she'd actually managed to find something to suit him even when he was so far out of his comfort zone.

"Oi Bats you ready?" He heard Sirius bellow from his sitting room, with his trademark scowl he followed the sound of the charms teachers voice.

"How many times Mutt must I tell you to not bellow in my quarters..." Severus paused to take a long look at what Sirius and Remus were wearing and started laughing well mainly at Sirius, the man looked like a ten galleon pimp.

"What are you wearing?" He asked wiping away a tear of laughter.

"This my friend is what the sales witch in the shop called Gambling cowboy chic." Sirius said adjusting the large shiny buckle on his belt and smoothing down his crimson coloured waistcoat.

Severus turned a critical eyebrow over Remus's attire all in all it was the same as his except it was in light tan colours and he wasn't wearing a long coat.

Remus just grinned sheepishly "Apparently I look like a good guy, which is a shame because I was admiring a coat similar to that in the clothes shop and was told it was all wrong for me. Since when did you go shopping for costumes anyway Severus? I thought you detested all forms of people making idiots out of themselves?"

"Of course I didn't go shopping for this." Severus sneered at them "It was a gift from Hermione."

"Looks like Sevvie boy here has hung up his balls for good Mooney old friend, we should have drink in honour of them." Teased Sirius good naturedly.

"Fuck off Mutt, I have been promised a night of untold pleasures with a hot, succulent, eager, young witch for wearing this outfit, just a thought to think about when you're jacking off alone tonight in your rooms." Severus replied with a superior smirk.

Remus came to the rescue by reminding them that they were already fifteen minutes late. Sirius laughed and manfully slapped Severus on his back letting him know that he'd won that round.

Hermione was sat at a table with Harry and everybody else who'd taken part in Manhunt earlier that day laughing at the moment when Neville' plants had captured Remus and Sirius when all of a sudden the bars saloon doors were pushed open with such a force that the DJ paused the music and everyone turned to look at the three strangers stood in the doorway.

"Holy fuck! That's hot." Pansy said in a stage whisper, once all of the occupants of the bar returned to what they were doing.

"She can say that again, I knew Severus could own that look." Hermione murmured to Harry, her lips barely moving.

Harry nodded but his eyes were locked on Draco who was talking to a strange bloke at the bar, a growl rose in his throat as the bald man put his hand on Draco's arm and gave him a little wink.

Hermione sensing trouble clasped Harry's hand and pulled him onto the dance floor "Dance with me sugar." Her poor attempt at a western accent making him laugh.

Hermione had no qualms about dancing sexily with Harry, for numerous reasons one he was her brother, her best friend, two he was completely out of the closet and three they both knew that they looked hot together and had used the technique on many occasion to grab themselves some hot man flesh, not the same one though... She shuddered at the thought.

"You know Hermione, Severus is giving me his patented glare of death right now." Harry whispered against her ear making her giggle.

"And you should know that there is a hot bloke in a tight white t-shirt looking rather lustily at your rather fine derriere." She answered slapping it for good measure.

"Ooh you saucy minx!" Harry said in a very good impression of Kenneth Williams his favourite Carry On star.

Hermione and Harry danced the next couple of dances together till the bloke in the white top came over and introduced himself as Derek, Hermione waited until Harry gave her the a discreet nod telling her that he wanted to be alone and then went to the bar to get herself a drink.

Severus hadn't stopped watching his witch all night, Harry was extremely lucky that Severus knew he was gay because there wasn't another bloke who would be able to get away with dancing with her like he was, Sweet Circe she looked amazing that white vest top which just managed to contain her magnificent breasts, that pert round bottom covered by a tight scrap of stonewashed denim that masqueraded as a skirt and those legs that quite frankly he thought should be wrapped around his waist as he ploughed into her hot sweet pussy.

Severus nearly hexed the bloke in the white t-shirt till he realised that the man was interested in Harry, deciding he needed a drink he walked over to Hermione who was leaning on the bar swaying her hips in time to the music not even taking notice of her surroundings.

"Hello Lover." Hermione purred softly without even turning her head just as soon as he'd reached her.

Severus was dumbfounded, there was no way that she'd heard his approach over the loud music, till he noticed her staring at him through the mirror on the bar .

Hermione smirked into her drink, taking a sip still not turning to face him.

"Oh she's playing a dangerous game tonight, but I like it." Thought Severus, his black eyes glittering. He stepped closer to her placing a hand on the bar either side of her and because his coat was open her body was completely hidden from view, he lowered his head so his mouth was level with her ear.

"That's a very short skirt Hermione, I wonder if you're wearing any knickers under there?" Severus was rewarded when Hermione shuddered as his breath tickled her ear.

"Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?" Hermione asked completely sidestepping his question.

"That depends on your answer to my first question Minx." He murmured seductively, lightly nipping her earlobe.

Hermione slowly ground her denim clad bottom into his erection "Well you could always find out for yourself."

Severus growled and discretely cast a strong notice me not spell on the pair of them, one of his hands reaching round and traced a feather light trail up her inner thigh stopping only when he reached the apex. "So wet for me witch." He purred as he began drawing tiny circles with a solitary finger over the soft damp satiny material covering her clit.

He increased his pace, smirking as Hermione lent her head back to rest on his shoulder her eyes closed in pleasure, a low moan escaping from her lips.

Hermione couldn't help herself as she felt her orgasm overtake her "Fuck!" She mouthed as she struggled to catch her breath.

"Quite." Severus allowed her a few moments to collect herself before removing the notice me not spell.

"Have I ever told you that you have talented fingers?" Hermione asked as she tucked a few errant curls behind her ear.

"I do believe that you have screamed it on a few occasions my dear." Severus took her glass off the bar and sniffed it. "Good choice." He murmured as he swallowed the rest of it's contents and gestured for the bar tender to bring them two more before she could complain.

They were suddenly interrupted by Draco slamming his glass down on the bar and ordering another double vodka straight up.

"Draco are you okay?" Asked Hermione with a slight frown.

Draco swallowed the drink in one and motioned for the bartender to refill it "Of course I'm okay, why wouldn't I be okay? Look around everyone' okay, even Boy Fucking Wonder over there is okay." He pointed a bit unsteadily at the dance floor to where Harry was in the middle of a passionate kiss with Derek. "He'll be fucking him next."

Hermione resisted the urge to roll her eyes she now knew exactly what was wrong and smacked Draco hard on his arm.

"Owww!...What the fuck Hermione?" Draco asked rubbing his arm.

"Draco Malfoy you are the biggest idiot to ever walk the earth, all you had to do was tell him." She told him calmly, her eyes not leaving Harry's form noticing that although Harry might be grinding against Derek his eyes kept flicking up to look at Draco. "In fact you're as bad as each other, I should just lock you in a broom cupboard and not let you out till both admit your feelings."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Draco said stubbornly.

"Hi guys do you want a drink?" Harry said breathlessly as he joined them at the bar.

Hermione and Severus declined but Draco spoke up "What has your new little fuck toy sent you to get drinks has he?"

"What? Oh no Derek had to go, he's got an early start tomorrow at St Mungos" Harry replied ordering a bottle of beer.

"I'm surprised you didn't go with him, I mean you were practically rutting with him on the dance floor." Sneered Draco.

"Just what is your problem Draco?" Harry asked looking shocked at the venom in Draco' voice.

"Problem?... Me?... I don't have a problem with you whoring yourself out to the nearest bloke who gives you a second look."

"Fuck you Draco! It's none of your business who I fuck...We're just mates remember." Harry had stepped right up to Draco only millimetres away from his face.

"I don't want to be your mate." Draco said in almost a whisper.

Harry paled, his mouth dropping open in surprise before he clamped it shut, his green eyes looked as if they were almost on fire they blazed that brightly. "That suits me fine, have a nice life Draco." He turned and walked swiftly away.

Hermione was saved from slapping Draco again as Severus had beaten her to it "Don't just stand there you Dunderhead go after him." Severus demanded giving Draco a harsh shove.

Draco suddenly came to his senses rushed after Harry. "Harry wait you didn't let me finish..." He said grabbing Harry's arm forcing him to stop.

Harry said nothing, but pulled his arm out of Draco' grasp.

Draco took a deep breath "I don't want to be your mate.."

"I thought we'd covered that already." Sneered Harry turning away before Draco could finish .

"I don't want to be your mate because I love you." Draco shouted loud enough for the entire bar to stop and watch the drama unfold.

"What did you say?" Harry asked stopping dead in his tracks.

"I love you...Sweet fucking Merlin help me because I love you so much it hurts...I've tried seeing other people and at times I've almost succeeded in denying the fact that it's you I want..."

"What about Marcus? A month ago you were crying over him."

"Marcus was an infatuation, a good fuck but the betrayal was what hurt me most...Harry believe me when I say that it's you who I go to sleep dreaming of, it's you who I think of when I'm wanking, your fucking green eyes that twinkle when you're doing something you shouldn't, the way you look when you're flying your broom with the wind in your hair and that carefree expression on your face...But I can't do it any more, I can't go through life watching you with somebody else, I thought I could but I can't...I'm sorry Harry I'm just not strong enough...If you don't feel the same just keep walking through that door and I'll never bother you again." Draco let his gaze drop to the floor not wanting to watch the moment when Harry left his life for good.

"Just kiss him Potter." A voice called from the table where most of the Hogwarts crew sat.

"Draco you're an attention seeking prat..." Harry gently took hold of Draco's chin raising it so he could look in his mercurial coloured eyes. "But I love you." He said softly before capturing the blondes lips in a fierce consuming kiss.

The bar erupted in clapping and catcalls before everybody settled down and ignored the two men who were completely oblivious to everybody else around them, the music a mere memory in the back ground as they lost themselves in each others kisses.

"About bloody time, his puppy dog looks were getting insufferable." Commented Severus smoothly turning his attention back to Hermione, with an indulgent smirk.

Hermione snorted "Well if you'll excuse me I just need to powder my nose, I'll see you shortly."

She disappeared in the directions of the toilets and had been gone for almost fifteen minutes before Severus started to get worried, he was just about to look for her when the barman gave him a note along with a large whisky telling him that it had been paid for by his companion earlier.

Severus downed the drink and read the note which was hastily written on a napkin.

_Lover, I am claiming my prize, I expect you in my bedroom in no less than five minutes from when you receive this note...Do not get changed. Xx_

Severus crumpled the napkin and shoved it in his pocket and was leaving when Sirius called out to him. "Leaving so soon Bats, what's the rush?"

"Wouldn't you like to know Mutt?" Severus tipped his hat at the ladies at the table then swiftly left with the duster coat billowing in his wake.

"The man sure knows how to make an exit." Sighed Pansy staring after him longingly.

Severus entered Hermione's dimly lit room not knowing what to expect, he could just make out her sat on a chair in the corner, her face shrouded by the shadows.

"Take your boots and socks off." She commanded him.

Severus complied and stood in the middle of the room waiting for her next instructions.

He watched her flick her wand at something, not saying a word till a song began playing in softly in the background.

"Strip for me." Was all she said.

"_I'm a Love Man  
Call me the Love Man  
Oooh, baby I'm the Love Man  
That's what they call me I'm a Love Man  
Six feet one weigh two hundred and ten  
A Long hair... Real fair skin  
A long legs and I'm-a out-a sight  
There ain't no doubt I'm gonna take you out"_

Severus smirked as Hermione shifted in her seat as he undid his belt and removed it quickly with a 'whoosh' and a 'crack' throwing it softly so it landed at her bare feet, the heavy weight coat slipped easily off his shoulders and just puddled in a heap on the floor, he was just about to remove his Stetson when Hermione spoke again.

"You can leave your hat on." Her voice sounded husky to his ears but he could also detect an edge of humour there.

He wondered what had tickled her amusement, somehow he knew that it wasn't aimed at him but something else entirely. "Note to self, must remember to ask Hermione what amused her so."

While Severus had been busy with his internal dialogue his nimble fingers had made short work of the black waistcoat and was now in the process of removing his shirt, a flash of inspiration overtook him and instead of allowing the shirt to join the other garments on the floor he threw it over to the chair where Hermione was sat, he was rewarded for his impulsive behaviour when heard her catch the shirt and inhaled deeply, his fingers paused on the top button of his flies.

Severus listened intrigued as he heard the faint rustling sounds of material as she moved about on the chair, when the room had gone silent again except for the music that was playing discretely in the background he slowly undid each button on his jeans till his erection which he'd been sporting since the bar was able to spring free and with one smooth fluid movement he pushed the black denim down to his ankles and stepped out of them.

He stood there in the centre of the room, naked except for the cowboy hat unsure what to do next or what Hermione expected from him. Severus didn't think he'd ever seen a more erotic sight in the whole time he'd been sexually active than the exact moment when Hermione stepped into the light and walked towards him wearing nothing but his shirt which came down to mid thigh on her and a sexy come hither smile, she'd folded over the cuffs just enough to show her hands and had fastened only two of the middle buttons this allowed him to see flashes of her creamy breasts as she walked towards him.

Severus watched transfixed as she stopped in front of him and transferred a kiss from her lips to his via her left index finger, she then traced a line from his lips down his chest and torso ending at his 'happy trail' of black hair.

She walked round to the back of him to pick up the duster coat and placed it on his shoulders.

"Put it on properly but leave it open." She commanded although her voice was soft.

Severus placed his arms in the sleeves unable to repress a shiver as the cool leather touched his skin, his whole body felt alive and was thrumming with excitement at the possibilities running through his head. He suddenly felt her warm body pressed against his back and one slender arm had crept round holding him in place, her hand was splayed out on his chest, her other hand was now interlocked with his and had guided it to his straining erection which was now weeping for attention, her fingers entwined with his grasped his cock and started stroking it slowly.

"I want to watch you pleasure yourself Lover, I want you to imagine it's me stroking this magnificent specimen of a cock." She said increasing the speed slightly.

"I also want to see you rubbing these delicious little nipples." Her thumb flicked over one of the pert nubs making him hiss in pleasure.

Severus had to bite his lip, damn he loved it when she talked dirty to him. He tightened his grip to create more friction and almost whimpering when she released him from her embrace and returned to her chair.

Severus complied with his Minx's demands, he could hear her pleasuring herself, her soft moans were spurring him on harder and faster, he could feel his peak coming closer and he didn't know how much longer he'd last, he needed to be inside her now.

"Hermione..." Her name fell from his lips in a low moan.

"I want you on the bed now!" She demanded her voice harsh with desire.

"Fucking hell!" Severus swore loudly in his head as Hermione joined him on the bed giving only a minute to get comfortable before she swung her leg over him and quickly sank on to his hard, eager cock.

Hermione rode him hard demanding more of him than he was sure he could give, sweet Merlin help him as he felt his balls tighten his climax, imminent.

"Cum for me Witch...Cum NOW!" He growled reaching between them and rubbing her clit frantically.

Luckily that had been just what she'd needed to send over the edge, her tight walls clenching and milking him dry as he joined her in what could best be described as Nirvana. She slumped against him both of them hot, sweaty and breathing heavily.

As he was lying there drawing random patterns on her back as question popped in his head and he felt compelled to ask it.

"So why did I have to keep the ribbons again?"

She giggled "You didn't, I just wanted to mess with your head."

"You do realise that there will be retribution for that Minx." His fingers stilling.

"You know the rules Lover, don't make promises your body can't cash." She lifted her head from his shoulder and licked the tip of his nose, her eyes alight with excitement.

In the blink of an eye Severus had switched positions and was now hovering over her "It looks like that I'm going to have teach you the errors of your improper behaviour." He said just before devouring her lips in kiss.

**Disclaimer: I don't own the song Love Man it was written and sung by Otis Redding, I make no money or profit from this song.**

A/N: I hope you all liked this chapter, I certainly had fun writing it. I would like to dedicate Severus's duster coat to my good friend and fellow author Third 1965 because it was her who reminded me to use one...If you haven't read any of her stories then I thoroughly recommend them, she's currently writing a Ginny/Lucius story that has a side pairing of Hermione/Severus called Debt Relief Malfoy Style...Please check it out, you won't be disappointed.

Now then my lovely readers, I'm thinking about having a kareoke night for the the next fun night, let me know what you think and what your suggestions for songs would be.

Please review and feed my plot bunnies it's like catnip to them and always makes them give great ideas usually while I'm at work, but still drugged up plot bunnies means chapters come quicker.

Much love.

Her Royal Goddess Xx


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